This is so random, but I was just recently at a funeral and some of us were talking about how different people react at funerals.

I myself am a laugher. It's more of a nervous laugh, but I laugh. I'll cry sometimes though.

There's also a group in my family, myself included, that kind of step off to the side and make our own morbid jokes.

How do you guys act at funerals?

There's nothing like a captive audience to a jokester. I learned that in church when I went to catholic school. If I am at a funeral or wake, I would do my cartoon voices and find humor when nobody else is looking for it. I just can't stand being depressed,I fight it off by making everyone laugh, (at least those with a sense of humor), The ones without one might as well climb into a coffin themselves as far as I'm concerned.

i usually just try to be supportive and comforting to friends and family that need it most

I'm also supportive to those who have lost loved ones. As someone who has buried every person in my immediate family, except my husband and my brother, I would not take it lightly if anyone laughed or told jokes at my parents or my sisters' funerals. If they couldn't act decent, I would ask them to leave until they got their act together. They should really leave on their own. Laughing or telling morbid jokes at a funeral is disrespectful and disgusting.

I'm also supportive to those who have lost loved ones. As someone who has buried every person in my immediate family, except my husband and my brother, I would not take it lightly if anyone laughed or told jokes at my parents or my sisters' funerals. If they couldn't act decent, I would ask them to leave until they got their act together. They should really leave on their own. Laughing or telling morbid jokes at a funeral is disrespectful and disgusting.
Almost as morbid as taking pictures of the deceased.

Almost as morbid as taking pictures of the deceased.
I never said it was morbid to laugh and make jokes at a funeral. I said it was disrespectful and disgusting. If anyone had behaved that way at my mother's funeral, I would have asked them to leave. If someone broke out a camera, I would haved tossed them out on their ear.

I never said it was morbid to laugh and make jokes at a funeral. I said it was disrespectful and disgusting. If anyone had behaved that way at my mother's funeral, I would have asked them to leave. If someone broke out a camera, I would haved tossed them out on their ear.
I would have punched them.

I would cry at a funeral. I can't imagine laughing at a funeral. That would seem rude, imo. I don't think I could handle being at a funeral. It would break my heart. When my great-grandpa and great-grandma passed away in 1990 and 1994 I couldn't go. I was too heart sick over it. Now, if a family member were to pass away, I would feel obligated to go. I don't know how I would get through it. This coming week my brother is having surgery and if something were to happen to him it would be awful.

I'm also supportive to those who have lost loved ones. As someone who has buried every person in my immediate family, except my husband and my brother, I would not take it lightly if anyone laughed or told jokes at my parents or my sisters' funerals. If they couldn't act decent, I would ask them to leave until they got their act together. They should really leave on their own. Laughing or telling morbid jokes at a funeral is disrespectful and disgusting.

I can't imagine having to lose four family members in 12 years; three of them in a span of 18 months. :hug:

I'm also supportive to those who have lost loved ones. As someone who has buried every person in my immediate family, except my husband and my brother, I would not take it lightly if anyone laughed or told jokes at my parents or my sisters' funerals. If they couldn't act decent, I would ask them to leave until they got their act together. They should really leave on their own. Laughing or telling morbid jokes at a funeral is disrespectful and disgusting.

What about nervous laughter? Like I stated earlier, sometimes I just laugh at funerals because of nerves. Ikd why, it has something to do with being in the same room with a dead body. I also laughed when I got up to read euology at my grandma's funeral, not because it was funny, but because I was in front of a huge crowd and there was a dead body near me.

I don't think I could handle being at a funeral. It would break my heart.
I can't imagine having to lose four family members in 12 years; three of them in a span of 18 months. :hug:

You could never handle my family then, I just had two people die within the same week, my cousin and my great aunt. Within the entire time I've been in high school, I'm a senior now, I've had five relatives die and went to four of them. The only one I didn't go to was one that was down in Texas.

Honestly, yes funerals can be depressing, but it also depends on who died. I don't mean to sound morbid or cruel, but if it is an older person, then usually they aren't as depressing. Like my grandma, a week before she died she told everyone that she was ready to go, that it would be a relief to her since she was in so much pain. She also told us that there had better be an after party. My cousin on the other hand, yes that was sad, he was in his early thirties. That one was a difficult one to be at.

What about nervous laughter? Like I stated earlier, sometimes I just laugh at funerals because of nerves. Ikd why, it has something to do with being in the same room with a dead body. I also laughed when I got up to read euology at my grandma's funeral, not because it was funny, but because I was in front of a huge crowd and there was a dead body near me.
If I had that reaction around the deceased, I would just do a quick in and out at funerals. I certainly wouldn't offer to read the eulogy. If I couldn't show the proper respect, I wouldn't draw attention to myself.

If I had that reaction around the deceased, I would just do a quick in and out at funerals. I certainly wouldn't offer to read the eulogy. If I couldn't show the proper respect, I wouldn't draw attention to myself.

I didn't offer, I was appointed. My family works a bit differently than most, when there's a funeral or wedding or whatever, you have specific things you have to do according to your age or something like that. In this case I was just my grandmas favorite granddaughter. My other grandma though, I was the last one to turn 16 so I had to do the toast, in Hungarian and Slovak (mix them) at her funeral.

this thread reminds me of that episode of "THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, "Chuckles bites the dust".

Most funerals I have gone to in the last 10 years have been very sedate. I don't cry at all. Sometimes a person will say a few words about the deceased, maybe a funny story and sure I will laugh. On the other hand a sad story may be told and I will cry.

I usually cry at funerals. However I don`t see nervous laughter as being disrespectful in any way. We all react to death differently and therefore we express ourselves in different ways.

It depends on the situation. When my dad died people were respectful, but we laughed softly, remember his jokes. My dad would rather have us laugh and be happy than being sad and feeling sorry for ourselves. But each family is different and you have to respect their wishes. Miss Lisa you sound like a strong person.

It depends on the situation. When my dad died people were respectful, but we laughed softly, remember his jokes. My dad would rather have us laugh and be happy than being sad and feeling sorry for ourselves. But each family is different and you have to respect their wishes. Miss Lisa you sound like a strong person.

Thats how a lot of the older people are in my family, they would rather us celebrate what their life was and not mourn their absence.

And thank you, but why is that?

Seems to me that you changed your story. The first half of this thread, Miss Lisa, you said that when you were near a dead body, that you laughed. It was because of nerves. You laughed reading the eulogy, not because it was funny, but because of nerves.

That changed to, you celebrate their life, and not mourn their absence. That's the reason for your sunny disposition at funerals. That's a far cry from breaking into laughter while reading the eulogy and telling morbid jokes. My family also sits and talks about their memories of the love one who has passed away. When my parents died, my sister and I made three large poster boards and put photographs on them, in chronological order of their lives. They were placed in the large sitting rooms. People who came to pay their respects stopped to look at the photographs.

In the funeral parlor, people got up and said a few words. We did this for both my parents and my two sisters. After the funerals, we had reception luncheons. They were very elegant affairs. People also get married there. My point to all of this is that my family doesn't sit around and cry our heads off. We do not; however, laugh out loud or tell morbid jokes. I've been to more funerals than I care to remember, and I've never seen that done. I find that distasteful, yet every family is different. To each their own.

Almost as morbid as taking pictures of the deceased.


Yeah! I don't get that! My mother's weird family does that! If my husband or children died I would not want a casket picture. That would be too depressing!

Ok speaking of weird/morbid what do you think of this? My friend's husband died and the funeral home offered the deceased's fingerprint etched onto a pendant. She wears it around her neck always. I though that was kind of creepy. But they were very close and his death devastated her. So I guess that she needs something of him with her at all times. Of course I didn't say what I really felt about it. I just smiled and nodded.:)

around here every funeral is an open casket affair, and they call it a "viewing" - to me that's just creepy, but it is expected and the norm here.

(we have been to a LOT of funerals for my wife's relatives in the last couple of years, she really doesn't even want to go to any more unless it is someone she is really close to.)

Almost as morbid as taking pictures of the deceased.

You know "back in the day" this is what people did.

Back when photography was new and very expensive people used to take photos of the recently deceased, sometimes even posing with them, for keepsake.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mourning_portrait

I don't think anybody likes going to funerals, wakes, viewings... whatever people call them.

When I go I tend to not "hang out" in the viewing room the whole time and I mostly stay out in the lobby talking to people.

I go in the viewing room to sign the guestbook and sometimes take a "death card" (I don't know what they're really called), but that's about it.

You know "back in the day" this is what people did.

Back when photography was new and very expensive people used to take photos of the recently deceased, sometimes even posing with them, for keepsake.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mourning_portrait

Back in my early 20's, the owner of a video store I frequented asked if I would video tape a funeral....I guess he figured since I watched a lot of horror films this would be something I would do? And no I didn't do it.

Ok speaking of weird/morbid what do you think of this? My friend's husband died and the funeral home offered the deceased's fingerprint etched onto a pendant. She wears it around her neck always. I though that was kind of creepy. But they were very close and his death devastated her. So I guess that she needs something of him with her at all times. Of course I didn't say what I really felt about it. I just smiled and nodded.:)

I know of some people who had their deceased relative cremated and their remains turned into jewelry; like a ring or a necklace.

People have their different ways of mourning.

Seems to me that you changed your story. The first half of this thread, Miss Lisa, you said that when you were near a dead body, that you laughed. It was because of nerves. You laughed reading the eulogy, not because it was funny, but because of nerves.

That changed to, you celebrate their life, and not mourn their absence. That's the reason for your sunny disposition at funerals. That's a far cry from breaking into laughter while reading the eulogy and telling morbid jokes. My family also sits and talks about their memories of the love one who has passed away. When my parents died, my sister and I made three large poster boards and put photographs on them, in chronological order of their lives. They were placed in the large sitting rooms. People who came to pay their respects stopped to look at the photographs.

In the funeral parlor, people got up and said a few words. We did this for both my parents and my two sisters. After the funerals, we had reception luncheons. They were very elegant affairs. People also get married there. My point to all of this is that my family doesn't sit around and cry our heads off. We do not; however, laugh out loud or tell morbid jokes. I've been to more funerals than I care to remember, and I've never seen that done. I find that distasteful, yet every family is different. To each their own.

Nervousness has nothing to do with being sad. Dead bodies creep me out, and crowds freak me out. And telling morbid jokes and random nervous laughter has nothing to do with celebrating someone's life. That just means that I'm more disturbed than I am depressed. Actually, if anything the morbid jokes keep me from being completely disturbed and nervous and having to leave.

Celebrating someone's life just means that you do go over the good things, remember the good times and not cry about them being gone and leaving behind their pain and suffering.

And I honestly do not care if your family cries their heads off or not, everyone has their own ways of dealing with funerals.

around here every funeral is an open casket affair, and they call it a "viewing" - to me that's just creepy, but it is expected and the norm here.

(we have been to a LOT of funerals for my wife's relatives in the last couple of years, she really doesn't even want to go to any more unless it is someone she is really close to.)

Many of the funerals I have been to have been open casket. It bothers that crap out of me. Lol, if you couldn't pick up on this earlier, dead bodies bother me, well, not so much the dead body, but in the back of my head I know that they played with that body before setting it out. Just the thought that someone would do a dead person's hair and dress them and do their makeup, it deeply disturbs me.

What they should do is just bury the person and then have a memorial sevrice for them and have everyone come to that rather than have the viewing and then carrying the casket to the front of the church and leave it there for the whole mass.

I don't think anybody likes going to funerals, wakes, viewings... whatever people call them.

When I go I tend to not "hang out" in the viewing room the whole time and I mostly stay out in the lobby talking to people.

I go in the viewing room to sign the guestbook and sometimes take a "death card" (I don't know what they're really called), but that's about it.

Yeah, the last few that I have been to I took the little kids into the back room and ate cookies and played games with them for a little while just to get out of that room. The only time I'm in that viewing room is if I have to be there to greet people or something like that.

Nervousness has nothing to do with being sad. Dead bodies creep me out, and crowds freak me out. And telling morbid jokes and random nervous laughter has nothing to do with celebrating someone's life. That just means that I'm more disturbed than I am depressed. Actually, if anything the morbid jokes keep me from being completely disturbed and nervous and having to leave.

Celebrating someone's life just means that you do go over the good things, remember the good times and not cry about them being gone and leaving behind their pain and suffering.

And I honestly do not care if your family cries their heads off or not, everyone has their own ways of dealing with funerals.
What in the world are you rambling on about? I never said my family cries their heads off, and I don't need to be told what celebrating someone's life means. I don't care if your family plays board games in front of the casket. I told YOU in my last post, "yet every family is different. To each their own" There's no need to tell me what I told you.

What in the world are you rambling on about? I never said my family cries their heads off, and I don't need to be told what celebrating someone's life means. I don't care if your family plays board games in front of the casket. I told YOU in my last post, "yet every family is different. To each their own" There's no need to tell me what I told you.



You said I had changed my story and I was just explaining that I hadn't. And I never accused your family of crying their heads off. You just seemed a little defensive when you said they didn't in your response so I just said that it doesn't really matter to me how any family acts at a funeral.

You said I had changed my story and I was just explaining that I hadn't. And I never accused your family of crying their heads off. You just seemed a little defensive when you said they didn't in your response so I just said that it doesn't really matter to me how any family acts at a funeral.
Isn't that a nice thing to say. I don't have any family, you got that? My parents died nine years ago, two months apart, from cancer. I lost one sister in 1991 and my last sister in 2003. Watch it with that family talk. You never know a person's story. I'm not defensive. Just pointing out that you changed your story because you did.

Isn't that a nice thing to say. I don't have any family, you got that? My parents died nine years ago, two months apart, from cancer. I lost one sister in 1991 and my last sister in 2003. Watch it with that family talk. You never know a person's story. I'm not defensive. Just pointing out that you changed your story because you did.

:( No one? What about your husband and brother?


:rolleyes: And fine whatever, if it makes you feel better I'll just say that I changed my story.

I think you can cry and laugh at funerals. I'm not talking about morbid jokes, though; I'm talking about funny stories about the deceased. Nothing wrong with that.

I've been to many wakes, and I've never seen anyone laugh or tell jokes. I've never seen kids there. Just mid-teens and up. I think that out of respect for the person who has passed away that those who attend the wakes act mature. I wouldn't want people laughing if I died.

I've been to many wakes, and I've never seen anyone laugh or tell jokes. I've never seen kids there. Just mid-teens and up. I think that out of respect for the person who has passed away that those who attend the wakes act mature. I wouldn't want people laughing if I died.
I think it's nice to tell warm stories and laugh a little, but not at jokes. I'm with you on kids. The only exception is if they lost someone very close.

:( No one? What about your husband and brother?

Yes, I told you that already. My brother lives out of state. Haven't seen him in years. So it's only my husband around for immediate family.

I've been to many wakes, and I've never seen anyone laugh or tell jokes. I've never seen kids there. Just mid-teens and up. I think that out of respect for the person who has passed away that those who attend the wakes act mature. I wouldn't want people laughing if I died.

No kids huh? It probably really is better that way. I have chased one through a funeral home because he grabbed my purse, which had a pocket knife in it that my dad had given me for fishing trips. Don't ask why I had it on me then, I just like to keep it with me because it was a gift. But anyways, that was the only reason I actually ran. That could have went bad if either of us ran into someone or something or knocked one of the stands down.

Nervousness has nothing to do with being sad. Dead bodies creep me out, and crowds freak me out. And telling morbid jokes and random nervous laughter has nothing to do with celebrating someone's life. That just means that I'm more disturbed than I am depressed. Actually, if anything the morbid jokes keep me from being completely disturbed and nervous and having to leave.

Celebrating someone's life just means that you do go over the good things, remember the good times and not cry about them being gone and leaving behind their pain and suffering.

And I honestly do not care if your family cries their heads off or not, everyone has their own ways of dealing with funerals.

I agree, there is no right or wrong way to deal with a funeral.