Now on for my Election Day skit:

(Ralph is waiting for Ed. Ralph is outside.)

Ralph (yells): “COME ON DOWN NORTON! WE HAVE TO GO TO THE POLLS AND VOTE!”

Ed (from upstairs, yells): “I WILL BE RIGHT DOWN THERE RALPH-IE BOY!”

(Ed comes down dressed as Uncle Sam.)

Ralph: “What are you doing with that getup on?”

Ed: “I just thought I would get in the spirit of Election Day. I would say to people: ‘Uncle Sam wants you.””

(They walk.)

Ralph: “Do you know who you are going to vote for when we get to the polls?”

Ed: “I am not sure. I really am looking forward to next year’s election. Once again, we will have a presidential election.”

Ralph: “I don’t know either. I am just fortunate to be living in a country in which you can vote. Now more countries in the world are now free. Like Lybia and Egypt. Those brave citizens of those countries went up against those former leaders and overthrew them. The Gadaffi was a BUM!”

Ed: “What brave people. Just think, we have people living here who are too lazy to get up to vote. Yet, those people who lived in those countries risked their lives to have a democratic country in which they can vote. Makes those lazy people look like bums!”

Ralph: “Yeah. Like I said, I don’t care who I vote for. All I know is that we should be glad that we live in a free country.”

(They both sing a song about living in a free country.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “How sweet it is!”

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Audience cheers.)