(The Kramdens are getting ready for the Raccoon Costume party.)

(Ralph comes out dressed like a Miami Heat basketball player. The jersey says "James" on the back. Audience applauds loudly.)

Ralph: "Alice, will you come on with your costume on? I am dying to see it."

(Ed comes down dressed like Spongebob Squarepants.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph? Hey, nice costume."

Ralph: "Thank you Norton. I wanted to be a NY Knicks or NJ Nets player but this was the only costume that fitted my size."

Ed: "Yeah, you don't expect the NBA to make jerseys that are size XXXXL."

Ralph: "Oh, you are a riot Norton."

(Alice comes out dressed like Rihanna. Her knees are showing.)

Alice: "You like it Ralph?"

Ralph: "Where is the rest of that costume?"

Alice: "This is what Rihanna wears. At least she did the last time I saw her a music video of her."

Ralph: "Not any Rihanna that is married to me."

Alice: "Oh, by the way Ralph. I forgot to tell you..."

(Alice's parents come in.)

Alice's Mom: "Alice, you look great."

Alice's Dad: "Yes you do."

Ralph: "What are they doing here?"

Alice: "I invited them to come. They wanted to come."

Alice's Mom: "Ralph, you look like the BIGGEST basketball player that I have ever seen. I thought you would either go as a sumo wrestler or Homer Simpson. You and Homer's IQ are similar."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!" (normally): "There is nothing that is going to keep me from winning that $1,000 prize. If I do, I am going to save it so we can take another trip to Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

(They all go to the dance.)

(At the dance, Ralph & Alice are dancing.)

Head Raccoon (on the microphone): "The song is over. Time to award the $1,000 prize."

Freddie Muller: "Nice costume Ralph. You dropped something."

Ralph: "Thank you."

(Ralph goes to pick it up. A big tear is heard. Turns out that Ralph apparently had a wardrobe malfuntion.)

Head Raccoon (on the microphone): "Well Ralph, because of the newGrand High Exalted Mystic Ruler's overly strict rules, your wardrobe malfunction caused you to lose. We are going to award the $1,000 prize to Ed Norton for him being dressed up as Spongebob."

(Ralph is humiliated and embarrassed. He goes into the back with Alice. Raloh gets into another set of clothes.)

Ralph (yells): "THAT IS MY PRIZE NORTON!"

(Ralph & Ed get into a fight. Everyone tries to break it up.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. How sweet it is."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "In case you are wondering, I wasn't naked. I am not stupid unlike Ralph. To all the kids out there, be safe this Halloween but to everyone, remember that the Miami Beach Halloweens are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:

(Note: The Honeymooners is not available in HD. So WPIX puts a black picture frame around the show on it's HD feed.)

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

All times are Eastern.

Sun. Nov. 6, 2011 1a #71 (CC) (aka #50) – “This is Your Life (Part One)”: Ralph is chosen to be on the television program "This is Your Life," but it must be kept a secret from him. When Ralph sees Alice and the show's producer together, he thinks Alice is having an affair.

1:30a (CC) #72 – “This is Your Life (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton find airline tickets in Alice's bag and believe she is planning to run away with the producer of "This is Your Life."

(WCIU) (MeTV in Chicago which is a simulcast of WWME-CA)

(Note: Some MeTV affiliates I think are allowed to have different schedules than the national feed. At least during the overnight and early morning hours they are. So...)

All episodes might be in CC.

All times are Central.

Mon. Oct. 31, 2011 1a #46 (aka #84) - *“Stars Over Flatbush”: Norton convinces Ralph that astrology will help him predict how to get a raise, and Ralph lets the stars rule his life.

#47 (aka #88) - *“The Principle of the Thing”: To please Alice, Ralph decides to use rent money to fix up their apartment. GUEST STAR -Classic TV Tightwad - Jack Benny.

(PBS World) (A digitial sub-channel that is part of many PBS [but not all] PBS stations.)

"Pioneers of TV"

One hour

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Tue. Nov. 1, 8a & 2p, Wed. Nov. 2 12a & Sat. Nov. 5, 2011 12a & 7p (CC) Joyce Randolph provides insight into Jackie Gleason; Marlo Thomas reminisces about her father, Danny; Andy Griffith on what made his show work; Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke recount their work together.

*: This episode has been HEAVILY edited.

Credit goes to zap2it.com, the honeymooners.net, tvland.com, tvguide.com & John K's Book To The Moon.