(Ralph & Ed are in Sears shopping.)

Ed: "Boy Ralph, if a immigrant ever came to this country today, they might say: 'Why does a city in Ohio have a national hoilday?'"

Ralph: "Hahahahahaha. That's a good one Norton. I am very fortunate that Chirs Columbus discovered America. Without him, we may have not even existed."

Ed: "I think that we would have. Both of us would be working. Instead of a bus driver, you would be on a gondalier and I would be working in the sewer and when a tide came in, I would assume that you made the boat sink."

Ralph: "Oh, you are a riot Norton. A REAL RIOT! I would like to belt you in the mouth. But, imagine of what life was like on the baot in 1492. Sailing around the world and discovering land. That must have been a lot of hard work. They might have had little to eat. I wouldn't want to be on that boat."

Ed: "Me too. We would all starve. You would have eaten all the food."

Ralph: "Oh, you want me to belt you right? But, if I was Chris Columbus and I told Alice that I was going to sail around the world, she would say that I would fall off the face of the earth. I would disagree because I am smarter than she and when I would be proven right, I would be in all my glory. That has happened to every argument that me and Alice have had."

Ed: "It has?"

Ralph: "All right. But that Chris Columbus was something special."

(They both sing a song about Chris Columbus.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)