Frank Gannucci
10-05-2011, 07:37 AM
Ralph Kramden, a NY Yankee fan? Part 4 (The NY Yankees beat the Detroit Tigers 10-1.)
(Alice & Trixie are playing cards in the Kramden kitchen.)
Trixie: “Those boys will be home any minute.”
Alice: “Yeah, they will be bragging that the Yankees won the ALDS.”
Trixie: “Now, they will be watching at least four more Yankee games.”
Alice: “Hopefully, with it being 2am now, they won’t be singing at the top of their lungs.”
Ralph & Ed (from hallway, loudly singing off-key): “WEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS/WEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS/NO TIME FOR TIGERS/BECAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMMMMMMPIONS…”
(They enter the room. Audience applauds.)
Ralph & Ed (loudly singing off-key): “…OF THE WORRRRRLD.”
Alice: “Shut up.”
Ralph: “Alice, you just interrupted the song. You are the first woman in history to do that.”
Alice: “Well, boo-hoo.”
Ralph: “Just for that remark, I won’t even let you watch the next Yankee game.”
Alice: “Form this blow, I may never recover. Don’t you think that this is premature since the Yankees still have to play Detroit on Thursday?”
Trixie: “I wish you guys would have more common sense to come in here at 2a and to sing at the top of your lungs.”
Ed: “We will do that because it is our night to sing. We are going to watch the Yankees face their ALCS opponent after they beat Detroit again. What a game. Especially that eighth inning. Those Tigers looked like idiots losing by run after run.”
Ralph: “Yes, they should have to face the Tampa Bay Rays instead of those BUM Rangers. Eventually, they will have the honor of playing in the Trop which is close to that beautiful action city, Miami Beach.”
(Audience cheers.)
Alice: “Ralph, you DO realize of course that Tampa is like four hours away right?”
Ralph: “It is not. I found out that Tampa is close by Miami. I have the map right here.”
(He takes out the map.)
Ralph: “Here is Miami Beach and here is...Tampa…which is on the other coast. Yoooou sneak.”
Ed: “Well anyway, when eventually the Yankees play against the Rays next season, I am going to root for the team that I am envious of.”
Ralph: “What team is that Norton?”
Ed: “The Rays. They are right near that beautiful water. The Yankees are far away from the polluted East River.”
Ralph (yells): “GEEEEEEEET OUT!”
(Ed & Trixie leave. Alice looks upset.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. The audience applauds.)
Jackie: “Beautiful. Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Audience cheers.)
(Alice & Trixie are playing cards in the Kramden kitchen.)
Trixie: “Those boys will be home any minute.”
Alice: “Yeah, they will be bragging that the Yankees won the ALDS.”
Trixie: “Now, they will be watching at least four more Yankee games.”
Alice: “Hopefully, with it being 2am now, they won’t be singing at the top of their lungs.”
Ralph & Ed (from hallway, loudly singing off-key): “WEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS/WEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS/NO TIME FOR TIGERS/BECAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMMMMMMPIONS…”
(They enter the room. Audience applauds.)
Ralph & Ed (loudly singing off-key): “…OF THE WORRRRRLD.”
Alice: “Shut up.”
Ralph: “Alice, you just interrupted the song. You are the first woman in history to do that.”
Alice: “Well, boo-hoo.”
Ralph: “Just for that remark, I won’t even let you watch the next Yankee game.”
Alice: “Form this blow, I may never recover. Don’t you think that this is premature since the Yankees still have to play Detroit on Thursday?”
Trixie: “I wish you guys would have more common sense to come in here at 2a and to sing at the top of your lungs.”
Ed: “We will do that because it is our night to sing. We are going to watch the Yankees face their ALCS opponent after they beat Detroit again. What a game. Especially that eighth inning. Those Tigers looked like idiots losing by run after run.”
Ralph: “Yes, they should have to face the Tampa Bay Rays instead of those BUM Rangers. Eventually, they will have the honor of playing in the Trop which is close to that beautiful action city, Miami Beach.”
(Audience cheers.)
Alice: “Ralph, you DO realize of course that Tampa is like four hours away right?”
Ralph: “It is not. I found out that Tampa is close by Miami. I have the map right here.”
(He takes out the map.)
Ralph: “Here is Miami Beach and here is...Tampa…which is on the other coast. Yoooou sneak.”
Ed: “Well anyway, when eventually the Yankees play against the Rays next season, I am going to root for the team that I am envious of.”
Ralph: “What team is that Norton?”
Ed: “The Rays. They are right near that beautiful water. The Yankees are far away from the polluted East River.”
Ralph (yells): “GEEEEEEEET OUT!”
(Ed & Trixie leave. Alice looks upset.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. The audience applauds.)
Jackie: “Beautiful. Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”
(Audience cheers.)