Disgraceful!!! RIP! :rolleyes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ5yyC4MkqU

When I almost ended it, people egged me on too. Thankfully I got a call, and what I was so upset over turned out to be a misunderstanding on my part, so I was fine after it was cleared up. It's just to bad that you guys weren't on his webpage. If so, he might be alive today.

When I almost ended it, people egged me on too. Thankfully I got a call, and what I was so upset over turned out to be a misunderstanding on my part, so I was fine after it was cleared up. It's just to bad that you guys weren't on his webpage. If so, he might be alive today.
Thank God you decided not to end it all. Sadly my Dad felt helpless too, I guess which is why I lost him in 1992.

I can't bring myself to watch the video that you posted (because of my dad), but it reminds me of something that happened in Seattle several years ago. Being that you live in Portland, you probably heard about it. This woman was suicidal because of her boyfriend and was standing on the ledge of one of our huge bridges and people were actually driving by and saying "Jump B***H". It was horrible hearing about that. I think she did jump, but she lived. Our local TV station gave the address for the hospital where she was staying and urged people to send her get-well cards, which I did. Never got a response, but I wish I could have met her. So glad she made it through that ordeal okay.

Hey Andrea, thanks so much for sharing that story. Believe it or not, I never heard it before. I went years without watching the news, or tv, as well as movies. Would watch once in a blue moon, but didn't watch so that I could break the curse of mind control, and conditioning. Haven't totally broken it yet, but almost, and will in time. I just need to be patient. For the first time in my life, I control my mind for the most part, and it, and the demons no longer control me. I still hear the voices daily, but Iv'e taken control, and they can mostly only do what I allow them to. Sometimes I'm an idiot, and argue with them. When I do, they get worse, and start controlling me again, so now whenever I'm about to argue, I try to stop myself, and that's been working great for me. For the first time in my life, despite the 30 years of conditioning, I broke the curse, and now I live for Jesus first and foremost. I love Him more than anyone, and that includes my family!

This poor kid was bi-polar, and he died. Along with bi-polar depression, I also have agoraphobia, panic disorder, OCD, ADD, borderline personality disorder, and a delusional disorder. For the last two years I have been under demonic possession. Iv'e been taken down to hell many many times, and was thrown into fire, boiling hot water, was being hacked with a machete. One time I was taken down, and they were walking me down to the boiling water, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see the demons in a room laughing hysterically while watching the crucifixion scene from The Passion of The Christ. One of the worst ones were when they set me down with several demons, and were watching a tape of all the horrible and embarrassing things Iv'e done throughout my life while laughing hysterically. The humiliation was unbearable!!!

I use to get choked continuously, waking up, and gasping for air. Laid me next to an old ladies dead body, that was decaying, and reaked, it was vile. At the very end, her arm fell on my lap, which woke me up. One morning my blanket was strangling me. When I tried to fall asleep, one of the voices would always scream at the top of their lungs, whenever I would almost be asleep. Imagine how scary that would be knowing that the next time you are going to fall asleep this would happen. I couldn't stop shaking for a year and a half, It took me ten minutes just to dial a phone number because my body, and hands were shaking so bad. Got up one time, and my legs started wobbling, before eventually giving out on me. It was hard to get up when this happened.

It's so embarrassing to admit this, but my mom would come down stairs and sleep in my bed, because the demons were unbearably hard on me while I was alone. I'd hold her hand for hours, sobbing, and trying to fight these demons off, who were wreaking havoc on my heart, and mind, and physically as well. Literal torture. She took so many days off for me, God Bless Her. When she'd leave my room, I'd go hysterical, sobbing, and begging her not to leave, and she'd selflessly, and compassionately stay with me for hour upon hour. This is why I'm so close with my mom, because she has ALWAYS been there for me, no matter how bad I treated her throughout my teen years. She gave me life, and I'd give up mine for her in a heartbeat. This is why one of my life goals is doing everything I can for her as a thank you for all the crap I put her through. I'd give up all my possessions and money in exchange for my mom's happiness. In a heartbeat I would.

Here's some of what the voices were saying, and still say to me to this day. Not all of it anymore, but some of it. They would make sex noises for days on end. The sound of my ex having sex with her new boyfriend, which at the time was horrible since I wasn't fully over our break up even after two years. The voice of three girls saying poor poor Brad all day long, the other day they revised it, and now they say bad bad Brad. Voices saying suicide, suicide, get the gun, get the gun. You are worse than Hitler, you are the worse person in the history of the world, you're going to die in 48 hours, you're going to burn in hell for all eternity. They'd do countdowns to my death. Reptillians were showing up on my tv screen muitating from beautiful men and women, into ugly, disgusting, smelly, demons. I didn't understand what that was at the time, but in the last month or so, Iv'e been obsessed with the illuminati, I'm sure some of you have noticed, lol, but I found out through that that what happened to me is called face shifting I believe. What it supposedly is, is a way of showing how demons from hell are controlling this world. When their face shifts, that's how you know who comes from hell. I'll put a link to it below for anyone who is interested in seeing what happens. Scary stuff. Most celebrities faces shift, even well known so called Christian celebs.

They took away my eye sight for darn near a month. Couldn't even use the computer, no matter how big the font, I couldn't see anything, even with a HUGE magnifying glass that my neighbor Tommy let me borrow. Same thing happened to the Apostle Paul from The Bible, he was Saul at the time, butJesus changed his name when he converted to Christianity. He lost his vision for a few days, and eventually become one of the most important people in the New Testament, writing about 50 to 60 percent of the New Testament. Only person I can think of who was more notanle is Jesus obviously.

This is only the tip of the iceberg of what Iv'e gone through. Levitating from my bed and going through walls, being taken to the scariest places imaginable. When I would be taken down to hell, they made me think that I had died, and went their, which was beyond frightening. delusions, I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance at three in the morning 3 or 4 times, and was put in the mental ward. Even locked me up a couple times in this tiny hot room with rubber walls, while I was detoxing. Basically the equivelent of being put into the hole in jail. Amazes me how they treat mental illnesses like one of the worst punishments in prison.

My roomate Carl, almost called him mom's boyfriend, but they broke up on my mom's 50th birthday in mid September. Anyway, he did ten years, so I know ALOT, too much about prison life. Thankfully I have never been there myself, but should have many times. I was a bad bad boy.

I went insane in the respite, and was rushed back to the hospital where they told my mom that I was a really, really sick person, also went about three or four times for serious physical ailments. I purposely overdosed many times, and should be dead. Would often do things like mixing three 30 mg speed pills, throw in an oxy, a couple xanax, sometimes I'd take up to four xanax's at a time, and would feel nothing from them. Not even a minor buzz. Happens to many people, which is one reason why so many die by overdosing. They become immune to it, and have to take more and more, until that inevitable day, and it's curtains.

I am so incredibly lucky. I'd also share a huge bottle of vodka with Carl about four or five times a week. We'd sometimes even spend hours drinking at a time, both day, as well as night. My mom called my bro once, because I had a blank stare, a 1000 yard stare as many war veterans call it, and would just lay, or sit there for a long time just staring, and not answering anybody. She was hoping that I'd recognize my bro, and as he got here, I was just getting out of it. I should be dead.

Blacked out a few times, one time I woke up and was lying on the slide in the park across the street from my house. Still have foggy memories of how I got their.

About four months ago, I left a message here on SO. I know that many people know this, but many don't. It was a suicide note, and I was going to end it. The reason I posted it here was because honestly, about 95%of my friends I met here at SO. I don't have very many friends in real life, never have, and so you guys were the only ones I knew to turn to, which was one of the best things that I have ever done. I knew how compassionate many of you are. I thank God everyday for the phone call I got, because if not for that, I'd be dead, no doubt.

The last three months have been the best days of my life. When I cried out, the amazing people here at SO showed me so much love, it made me sob. For that, I will always be grateful, fortunate, and I will continue to pray for ALL OF YOU EVERYDAY for the rest of my life. Will even pray for you all in Heaven if God lets me. I never miss a day.

Anyway, so sorry I got off topic. This is the first time that Iv'e really told anyone details about this, and this isn't even anywhere near half of what I went through, more like one tenth of what Iv'e been through, no exaggeration. Posted several frantic, and non sensical messages to my friends on facebook, over the course of several months when I'd get on my buddy Preston's computer about once or twice a month, but even then, never got into much detail. Going to preston's house is pretty much the only times I got out of bed over the last four years. The prayers were a life saver though, and I also pray for all of my Facebook friends daily, and like ya'll, will NEVER stop!! But yeah, the only ones who know most everything I went through, are my mom obviously, my therapist, and now, all of you. lol My brother doesn't even know the details. Don't want to burden him and Melissa. Anyway, the story of the woman on the bridge sadly doesn't surprise me even a little bit. The fact that people were telling her to jump doesn't surprise me at all. I'm so glad that she survived though. Not even going to say what I'm thinking of those who treated her so wickedly, because I would get banned from this website for sure. In the last few months, wow, just wow, people can be absolutely frightening. Like I said though, it's just great that there are people like you Andrea here on SO, as well as many other members. Who knows, had this tragedy taken place here at SO, this senseless tragedy with this poor kid might have been avoided.

Iv'e learned in the last few years that the word compassion seems like a foreign word to most people. In my experience that is, can't speak for anyone else. I wish the world would change, but sadly, it's only going to get worse. With Jesus on my side though, there ain't NOTHING that I can't handle, NOTHING!! The only fear I have in me, is fear of God, but that's the good kind of fear. I recentely read an article saying that demonic possession is the worse thing that can happen to a person in their lifetime. Maybe true, maybe not, but I can say with 100% certainty that every horrible thing Iv'e been through throughout my life put together doesn't even come close to being as bad as that year and a half was.

I eventually would have succeeded in killing myself, so I'm thankful that I was able to give up both drugs and alcohol without rehab, which many "experts" brain wash people into believing, just by making an extra buck. Without God it's not, but with God, nothing is impossible, and I am proof of that. God was my rehab, and in the last several months I have been happier than Iv'e EVER been in my life, despite things being more difficult than ever in my life. I guess you can say that I'm a Jesus Christ addict. lol I'm content through it all. The high Iv'e gotten from drugs, doesn't even come close to measuring up to the high I feel since giving up recreational drugs.

Haven't once had any desire for drugs or alcohol since giving it up. To those who brainwash people by saying it's impossible to give it up without rehab, I have seven words to say to them. 5, and 7 months. Drugs, and alcohol. Don't ever let them deceive you. God is a trillion times more reliable than rehab if you trust in Him. There actually are no words to even describe how bad it was, saying that it's no exaggeration is true, because what happened to me, there's no words or exaggeration that can be as bad as what happened to me. What I went through over the course of two years make the movie the Exorcist seem tame. I was literally tortured beyond description everyday. Not once in that time did I have a good day, infact it seemed to get worse with each passing day.

Male demons committing sexual acts on me, wow, just thinking about it gives me chills. Iv'e certainly been through the ringer, and nothing seems to difficult anymore. It's all smooth sailing from here on out. Naturally times will be tough, but with God, I know for a fact that I can make it through anything.

Everyone who knows me though say it everyday, that I'm a totally different person. Most are in shock, don't believe it, or don't understand how you can go through all of that, and come out like I have these last few months. And like I said, you guys only know about 10% of what happened. It would take a long long time to tell you everything. I might write a book about the experience in the future to hopefully help others. I probably have enough info to write three or four books actually. It'll will probably be called, "Fighting For My Mind, or Reversing Mind Control." Something to that effect. Ditching the drugs and alcohol, turning back to God, and my amazing friends and family, with their love and prayers is what got me through this. The reason I never told anybody this, is because most would think I'm lying, and I honestly can't really blame anybody. Had anyone told me this six years ago, I think I'd be skeptical too, so I don't hold it against anyone. Who am I to judge?? To those who want confirmation, pm me and I'll be more than happy to give you my number, and my family will be able to confirm everything that I said, and much much more.

Carl was funny about a week ago. My mom told me that one of our friends were over, and I'm paraphrasing here, but Carl said something to the effect of, I don't know if it was God, this Illuminati business, or what, I'm just so glad he's not like he was. I was a zombie for nearly two years. Everyone echoes those sentiments too, they are all in shock. And sadly, many are mad at me for being so happy now. Even some of my closest friends, but I got the best friend in the world, Jesus Christ. In the end, He's the one that matters most. I went from one of the most miserable people on this planet, to one of the happiest, and it's because of friends, family, myself for fighting when I thought I had no fight left in me, and it's mostly because of God obviously, for forgiving me for the hideous things I did throughout my life, and for almost doing what I promised Him that I'd never do, and that's give up.

I regret nothing that I went through, and I'm now grateful for what I went through. I wouldn't be anywhere near half as good as I feel now. Defintely not the road God wanted me to take, but now I feel like I have that full armour of God that Iv'e always heard about. What I went through, like I said, can't even imagine being able to go through worse, but with that, petty squabbles are meaningless to me these Learn, love, and forgive, but NEVER forget!!! I still make tons mistakes, but it's light years away from how phony I was for so many years. In my suicide note I said that I was a fraud. You guys were awesome, and assured me that I wasn't, but the truth is, I was for years. I was very popular here at one time, but the fact is, I was phony, so as good as people treated me, I always knew in my heart that I was a fraud, and so I never enjoyed the fact that you all cared so much about me, because I hated myself.

I like who I am today, and who I'm becoming, and for the first time in my life since giving up lying, along with other fraud related things. Be real, that's pretty much my feelings these days. I'm not anywhere near where I should be, but I'm just thankful for not being where I was. That's all we can do, learn from our mistakes, and don't go back to our vomit. A dog returns to his vomit, is the equivelent to a person going back to their sins. In the words of Michael Jackson, I needed to make that change,and I am more and more with each passing day! :) The possession was a punishment, and now I'm grateful. Like God says, He rebukes those who He loves. Thanks for rebuking me Lord. I deserved everything, and more of what I went througfh. Thank you so much for your incredible mercy and Love!!! If not for that, I wouldn't be as happy as I am today, and would be lost in the dark. I hope my story can inspire many, and I think that I finally found my purpose in life after searching for nearly 30 years. To tell my story to backsliding Christians, as well as to nonbelievers, and to inspire them by showing them that NONE OF US are beyond repair, NONE of us!!! God can even help you when yourself, and when nobody else thinks it's possible. Bottomline, never give up!!! I was in the worst place on earth, had no hope, and even with that, I fought, God forgave me, I forgave myself, and I'm the luckiest man on the planet!! If there was hope for me, and if I made it through, anyone can. You have to have a supernatural kind of strength which you can get through Jesus Christ. Faith the size of a mustard seed, which is the smallest seed there is, can move mountains. Thank you so much for showing me that your words were true. THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE!!! Much love peeps, and thanks again for EVERYTHING! No doubt, I'll NEVER forget!!! :D

:bighug:

Thank God you decided not to end it all. Sadly my Dad felt helpless too, I guess which is why I lost him in 1992.

I can't bring myself to watch the video that you posted (because of my dad), but it reminds me of something that happened in Seattle several years ago. Being that you live in Portland, you probably heard about it. This woman was suicidal because of her boyfriend and was standing on the ledge of one of our huge bridges and people were actually driving by and saying "Jump B***H". It was horrible hearing about that. I think she did jump, but she lived. Our local TV station gave the address for the hospital where she was staying and urged people to send her get-well cards, which I did. Never got a response, but I wish I could have met her. So glad she made it through that ordeal okay.

I'm so sorry to hear about your father Andrea. :( God Rest His Soul! I understand you not wanting to watch the video, so here's the story.

Dr. Keith: Those Who Watched Internet Suicide Have Problems Too
By Dr. Keith Ablow

Published November 26, 2008
FoxNews.com

Biggs' nineteen years of life were broadcast live via the Internet on Justin.tv.

Biggs, a Broward College student who reportedly suffered from bipolar disorder, had posted a suicide note on BodyBuilding.com before overdosing on a combination of opiates and benzodiazepine tranquilizers in front of his webcam.

Just as shocking as Biggs' decision to end his life publicly was the fact that strangers encouraged him to do it. Some in the virtual audience texted entries like "lol" (for "laughing out loud") and "hahahaha."

Other viewers did contact the Web site, and police were eventually notified. They found Biggs dead 12 hours later.

The lesson in this tragedy is the same whether we think about the lead actor in this made-for-the-Web reality drama or his viewers. All were lost in a hall of mirrors that deprived them of real human connectedness. When Biggs shared his overwhelming desperation with strangers, and when those strangers treated him without humanity, they were laced together-each and every one of them-in the peculiarly potent kind of depersonalization that today's technology breeds.

When we broadcast our life stories over and over again-whether on Justin.tv or Facebook or YouTube-we run the risk of slipping the bindings of our real feelings and experiences and becoming, in some small or greater way, actors in our own lives. And as actors, some number of us will feel free to do and say things that are not a reflection of our true, deep character, but of the characters we have created for public dissemination.

Abraham Biggs may have committed suicide alone, without an audience. But broadcasting his overdose may have made it seem just a little less real to him, a little like acting out his own death without having to really die, like an actor reading a script who stands up after the death scene and walks off the stage. And those who watched and did nothing, or who watched and laughed out loud, or watched and egged Biggs on, might never have behaved that way were a person standing in front of them ready to end his life.

While some may have believed Biggs was faking his death, I believe others were rendered inhuman by the fact that a camera turned the last pages of his life story into entertainment.

We are past due for major research into the psychological effects of the Internet on human emotion, behavior and relationships. With tens of millions of Americans participating in online social networks and dating sites and photo sharing sites and (perhaps most toxic of all) Second Life, some percentage of users may be gradually disconnecting from themselves and others and reality.

Maybe it isn't too big a leap to wonder whether that's one reason Americans seem increasingly drawn into "bubbles" of fiction that eventually burst, causing real suffering. Think about the near-delusional thinking that fueled the Internet stock bubble and the real estate bubble. Think about the fact that our government is now injecting staggering amounts of capital into failed businesses to make them look like real businesses, in hopes that they will eventually become real businesses.

Biggs' story is shocking because it captures the last minutes of a good and decent young man's life. It is all about private suffering turned inside out into a scripted, public spectacle in which the pain was meaningless to many of those made privy to it. The Internet wrung the truth out of it.

We'd better find out-and soon-how "connecting" through today's technology may be disconnecting us from ourselves and from others.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, "Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty" has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow's website at

Never realized this was so old. It happened in 2008. Oh well, the date doesn't take away from the power of this story. So so sad!

Wow, this just gets worse and worse. At the end of the video, the guy talking flashes the 666 Illuminati hand sign. The 666, and devil horn hand signals are coincidence right?? LOL This world is SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That "666 Illuminati hand sign", believe it or not, can also be interpreted as a sign of love.

A very sad commentary on our times.

A very sad commentary on our times.

I thought the same thing when I first watched this. I just got angry, later getting depressed. The people were calling him fagg*t because he was gay, and a loser. The fact that he had bi-polar depression makes it even sicker.

Unfortunately there are still people in this world who think that depression is all in the head. Just get over it they say. It's ignorance, and I just hope those people, or people close to them never get a mental disorder, because they will see how wrong they were.

I know it's different for everybody, but for me, the physical pain is nothing compared to the mental. Everytime I overdosed it was always because of something that someone, or many said to me. Never tried overdosing from physical pain. Truth is though, I don't get mad at some of them, because with some people throughout my life, I was the one to blame, and was the one who provoked them. My situation's different though. I deserved it for starting it, but all this kid wanted was help, and everybody sh*t on him. I bet many of them were the same kind of people who always talk about other people's intollerance. Look in the freaking mirror you vultures!!!

That "666 Illuminati hand sign", believe it or not, can also be interpreted as a sign of love.

Which is exactly what Lennon is using it as in the above picture.

That "666 Illuminati hand sign", believe it or not, can also be interpreted as a sign of love.

Interesting, I'll have to look into that. This is something Iv'e been studying for awhile now, and many celebrities in the illuminati have gone on record saying that they sold their souls to the devil in exchange for fame and fortune.

Iv'e read, and watched tons of videos recentely where various famous people admit this. There are a few interesting vids that I watched, and came across with a man named John Paul, who was one of the illuminati's top guys, but gave it up, and became a Christian. He told a story about a very well known singer who everybody here has most likely heard of. Of course, this is just his version, so obviously we can't know for sure whether or not it isn't biased or not, but he asked this well known singer if the music business was the same since he left? The musician chuckled, and said to him something to the effect of, you know the answer to that. The music industry is still putting curses on people through their music. (Paraphrased)

Interestingly, the guy was thrown into a mental ward, and when he got out, he ended up missing, and nobody knows what became of him. This has happened to many people who tried to expose the illuminati.

Anyways, thanks for the info, I'll definitely look into it, and will see what I come up with. Since Iv'e never heard this before, I can't really agree, or disagree not hearing both sides. I really do try to be tolerant to others views, so I'll definitely respect your words, and look into it.

By the way, rapper Eminem came out with a song in 2010 called "I'm Not Afraid," which is supposedly an anti-illuminati song. He was in the illuminati, and I guess he got out. Very powerful song. Michael Jackson and Lauren Hill each have songs that are supposedly about the Illuminati as well. It was one of Michael's last songs, and one of my three favorite Jackson songs ever, called "They Don't Really Care About Us." Lauren Hill's is called "I get Out." Both powerful songs that I highly recommend.

They Don't Really Care About Us (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97nAvTVeR6o)

I Get Out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXN0_oaPoZQ)

A very sad commentary on our times.
http://i55.tinypic.com/2a4zvgj.jpg
http://i54.tinypic.com/14eclys.jpg
http://i54.tinypic.com/f4kbus.jpg
http://i56.tinypic.com/200uwj5.jpg
http://i55.tinypic.com/sfjrtf.jpg
http://i56.tinypic.com/ieqhx4.jpg
http://i51.tinypic.com/k3vw2g.jpg
http://i51.tinypic.com/2pphslu.jpg
http://i56.tinypic.com/r7kn7n.jpg
http://i51.tinypic.com/2s5z7de.jpg
http://i55.tinypic.com/fx5nyu.jpg
http://i53.tinypic.com/jtbamf.jpg