View Full Version : Up at Bat battered


ph1l
08-23-2011, 04:45 AM
They've done it again and chopped 6 minutes from Up at Bat. It's about the same amount of time they cut from The Postman Cometh. 19 minutes must be the target figure these days for a half hour time slot.
They completely removed Ginger from the dream sequence.

Cuts after the ad break:

An establishing shot of the Skipper and Gilligan’s hut.
The scene shifts to the interior where a bat is sitting on Gilligan's hammock.

Skipper: My poor little buddy.

The scene shifts to an establishing shot of the girl’s hut and then to the interior. The episode resumes with the Skipper saying, “a bat that goes eek eek and flaps its wings.”

The next cut begins after the close up of the "Belfry Hall" sign.

Mr. and Mrs. Howell make their way to Belfry Hall.

Mr. Howell: Hurry Lovey. Lets get out of the fog and find lodgings for the night.
Mrs. Howell: So gloomy here. Couldn't we find a more cheerful castle?
Mr. Howell: Nonsense. Have you no sense of adventure?

Mr. Howell knocks on the door.

Mr. Howell: Open up. Open up in there I say.
Mrs. Howell: There's something strange about this place. My pearl necklace just curdled.
Mr. Howell: Nonsense, they will welcome us with open arms. Open up. Open up. Oh…
Mary Ann: Go away. Please. Be gone and never come back. Cut out.
Mrs. Howell: She doesn't seem exactly overjoyed to see us.
Mr. Howell: I know it's the language barrier I'll speak the international language of money. Here you are my dear. Moolah, pesos, lira, deutschmark. Here, here. My wallet is a mixed grill. Take your pick.
Mary Ann: No gratuities are necessary. Follow me.
Mr. Howell: Wild motel, I must say. The landlady looks suspicious too.
Mrs. Howell: You're a linguist dear, ask her if she can accommodate us. The imperial suites of course.
Mary Ann: I shall tell my mistress she has guests for this evening.
Mrs. Howell: Eesh.

Mary Ann rings a bell and the scene shifts to the castle bedroom.

Ginger: The bell tolls. Some unwary travellers have stumbled into our midst. I must wake my husband.

Ginger knocks on Gilligan’s coffin.

Ginger: The moon is full, and guests await. Wake up master. Get out of your crate.
Gilligan: Good evening. I am the Vampire. Prince of evil, duke of darkness, king of terror and other rotten things.
Ginger: Master, guests have arrived. They're down stairs little realising the danger that awaits them.
Gilligan: Yes, yes. I can hardly wait to put the bite on them. I shall swoop down upon their unsuspecting necks.

Gilligan leaps out of a window and moments later, climbs back in.

Ginger: What happened?
Gilligan: I forgot to turn in to a bat.
Ginger: What kind of a Vampire are you anyway? Wait here, I'll go get the victims.
Gilligan: Yeah, but they’ll see my coffin and they'll become suspicious.
Ginger: I'll fix that.

Ginger unfolds the coffin into a bed.

Ginger: Here. Twin bats. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Now I'll get you the victims. Meanwhile you'd better hide.
Gilligan: Yes, that way they won't know I'm here till it's too late. I'll run and hide in the alcove.
Ginger: We don't have an alcove, you schnook.

Shortly, Ginger re-enters the room with the Howells.

Ginger: This will be your room. I hope you like it.
Mr. Howell: Like it? Madame your decorator should be flogged, and his ballet pumps burned. A bedroom without a stock ticker, barbaric.
Mrs. Howell: Look darling, we really should be more gracious to our hostess. What my husband means is that we want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts, for allowing us to spend the night in this perfectly beastly room.
Mr. Howell: Well said Lovey, my dear. Oh, a petrified mattress.
Mrs. Howell: Well it won't matter darling, you’re so tired. You'll sleep like a dead man.
Ginger: You're so right. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

There’s a knock at the front door.

Ginger: Someone's at the door. I must prepare another room.
Mr. Howell: You were expecting other guests?
Ginger: No, but we'll make room. My husband loves to have extra people for dinner. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

At the front door.

Skipper: I say, I've knocked and knocked and nobody's answering inspector Sherlock. What do you make of that?
Professor: Elementary my dear Whatney. No one’s at home. We've come to the wrong castle. Here, see for yourself.
Skipper: Silly of us I must say.

The Skipper takes the giant magnifying glass from the Professor and examines the door.
Mary Ann opens the door.

Skipper: I say inspector, I think there's something wrong with this glass. There's nothing but an ugly old lady inside it.
Professor: Oh give that to me. I'm afraid my associate has no manners. I must apologise for his remark, ugly old lady.
Mary Ann: Thank you.

The episode resumes with the next line, which is the Professor saying, “I am inspector Sherlock and this is my associate, Colonel Whatney.

At least they left my favourite scene intact.