Justin Halpern, whose Twitter feed and book were the basis for the CBS comedy $#*! My Dad Says, is taking the news about the show's cancellation in stride.

"It was a bummer until I remembered that I got a TV show based off a Twitter feed and a book and was basically the luckiest ******* who ever roamed this earth," he blogged.

But he also decided to share the news with his father. According to Halpern, here's the transcript of what happened when he called his dad:

"Hey. What do you need. I'm busy," he said.

"Do you have a second?" I said.

"Is this Justin?" he said.

"Yeah. Who'd you think it was?"

"Didn't know. Just picked up the phone."

"You didn't know who it was and you answered the phone with 'Hey. What do you need? I'm busy?" I asked.

"Lets people know not to f--- around with my time," he said.

"My show got canceled," I said.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line and I wasn't sure if he heard me. I was about to say it again, when he spoke.

"Well. F---. Sorry to hear that, son."

"Eh, it's OK. It happens. It was crazy I got a show on the air in the first place."

"Well, I liked it. It was kind of s--tty at first, but I thought it got a lot better. You know what show I like? Cheers. That was a good show," he said.

"That was a good show," I said, wondering if that was part of a larger point he was about to make.

"Also I liked The Simpsons. At first I thought, it's just a stupid cartoon for pants-s--tters, but I was wrong, great show." (Pants-s--tters is how my dad refers to toddlers.)

"Well, I just wanted to let you know. I know you're busy so I'll let you go," I said.

"I'm 75. If you're busy when you're 75, you f---ed up the first 75 years. I want you to know that I'm proud of you. You didn't put a bullet through Bin Laden but I'm proud of you. You're a bust-ass kid."

"Thanks," I said.

"And let's not forget the big picture here. You don't have to live with me anymore. One less person crawling up your a-- every morning. That's all anyone can f---ing ask for."

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By Dennis DiClaudio
Nov 18, 2015 3:20 PM

CBS’s poorly received 2011 sitcom **** My Dad Says was, in essence, a finger in the anus of network television, its creator explains in an apologetic essay (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/****-my-dad-says-creator-841326) published in the Hollywood Reporter today. According to Justin Halpern—who managed to parlay the success of his now defunct @****mydadsays (https://twitter.com/****mydadsays) Twitter feed into a career as a television writer—his curated collection of irascible bon mots from his father benefited from a fortuitous right-time/right-place situation as broadcast networks were jealously eyeing the critical successes being mined over at their rival cable networks.

He likened the scenario to a staid and steady marriage between broadcast TV writers and broadcast TV networks, who had long since settled into a routine of safe and friendly missionary position sex once a week before suddenly realizing that there’s more to life. “[T]he broadcast networks see writers and cable networks ****ing in all kinds of crazy, nasty ways, and the broadcast networks think, ‘You know, I don’t want to have sex like that, but I would be interested in spicing it up a bit. Maybe next time we have sex, I’d like to try having a finger stuck up my *******.’ And in 2009, with Twitter starting to burst out, **** My Dad Says was that finger.”

Due to Halpern’s own shortcomings and insecurities as a novice sitcom writer, he explains, the digital stimulation was not particularly well received by CBS, leading to its quick cancellation after one season. He speculates that this is likely the reason that other Twitter feed creators have not since been invited to plug any phalanges into any broadcast orifices. “**** My Dad Says was not a very good TV show,” admits Halpern, who has since worked on a number of other programs, including his own co-created Surviving Jack, which was also cancelled after one season.