Have you ever been yelled at for dropping something or spiling something?
Unfortunately with my vision it happenes more so than someone with 20/20 vision.

Yesterday (Sunday) I went over to my sister's, mother's and mother's financee's house. I went over to stay with my sister while my mother and her financee went out of town for the day to visit his uncle who has terminal colon cancer. My sister can stay alone, but she would rather have someone stay with her.

The day was ok until dinner time. I helped my sister with laundry, bathing their dog, etc. We ordered take out delivery from a pizza/pasta place. The place delivers the food and the food is actually burning hot. I have never gotten food from delivery that was anywhere near buring hot.

My sister handed me a container that had food in it. She put it in my hands (plams face up). When my hands came in contact with the bottom of the container it felt like my hands werer burning. The natural reaction is to pull away. That caused the container to hit the floor and a small amount of sauce got on the wood floor. I ran my hands uunder cold water.

I apologized to my sister. However, she was so angry. She was angry that she had to clean it up. I told her I would clean it up. She refused that. Her anger was, imo, was out of propotion to what happened. She was getting so upset. So I, stupidly, called my mother thinking she might calm my sister down. Instead she sided with my sister. She told my sister to "igonre me" in a unpleasant tone.

After which I didn't feel welcome there. I had made a mistake. An accident that's all. The food thankfully wasn't ruined and the floor wasn't either. I would have been willing to pay for whatever. I spent my childhood terrified of dropping anything or spilling anything as my mother would scream. I would race to get something to clean it up with.

So I called my transportation and asked if they could come get me early. The only way that can happen is if it's more than an hour and a half before the scheduled pick up time. I just wanted to go home. I felt bad.

I hope your hands are okay...

If someone handed me a burning bowl, I woulda dropped it too.

Obvously your sister can handle very hot temperatures and you can't. IF she knew you couldn't handle hot items, she shouldn't have given it to you.

I remember many years ago, I was visiting my sister in NC and my BIL was filling a sink with soapy hot water to wash the dishes... When my sister walked in after he left the room, she put her hand in the water and took it out and had the 'Ow' reaction. I guess she didn't know that my BIL was going to do the dishes or not.

Some people can handle it, some can't.

Yes I have spilled somethings and maybe given a look or my name said in annoyance.

Hope you are feeling better. :)

EDIT: One other thing, if your sister is alone and she wants you over, tell her no.

You did nothing wrong. Sorry you had to go through all that.

How are your hands feeling?

You know, I don't understand why you continue to tolerate your family mistreating you like this. Family or not sometimes you have to draw the line and say 'Screw it, I'm not going to take this any more'.

You shouldn't be made to feel unwelcome at your family members' home. I don't take this from anyone.

Maybe by trying something like cutting of all contact with them temporarilly they will hopefully appreciate you more by not having you around nor hearing from you.

I don't know your full situation; you have to make your own choice about what to do.

I'm so sorry, Jenny - you have been through unspeakable pain and abuse. I admire your strength and resolve. Don't forget that you have a SO family that loves and cares about you very much!! I hope and pray your hands heal quickly as well. :bighug:

You're right Jenny. You're sister's reaction was way out of poportion to what happened. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I hope your hands are okay.

Your sister's reaction was way out of line. Sorry you had to experience that awful behavior. She sounds like a real treasure.

I know it may be hard because they are family, but you have to start refusing to feel bad about things like this. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

Thanks. My hands are better today. My hands are a little tender today, but not bad.

My vision is pretty bad. I think she was holding the container from the sides so I guess it must not have been as hot for her. When she had it to me the bottom is what was burning hot.

I don't know if leaving early helped her realize or not that I was made to feel so awful over an accident.

I am very sorry that you have to go through this Jenny. You don't deserve this. :( I know it's tough because they are family. I'd just cut back on your visits for awhile and the next time your sister wants you to do something for her, say no. Nobody deserves to be treated like they treat you and I know it's worse because they are family. They're supposed to look out for you. I used to drop things once in awhile and I never got yelled at like that. Nobody's perfect...accidents do happen and the fact that your family treats you like that when you have poor vision is just sick. I'm sorry if I'm rambling.

Your sister needs a good backhand. Not really, but I'd like to give her one. She treats you terrible, sets you up to look bad and is just a rotten sister. Your mother ALWAYS takes her side, and I think that's shameful.

Put some Neosporin on that hand. So sorry that happened.


:bighug:

Thanks. I appreciate the kind words. :) :hug:

I'm sorry you had to go through all that, Jenny!

And, your sister had no right to treat you that way, we all drop things; hey accidents happen!

Jenny, you're too good for them!!!!

Sorry about your accident and that your family is so insensitive to you.

My niece has a pretty poor relationship with her mom. She talks about it quite often and how she wishes that things were different.

I understand her pain, but I have advised her that at this point (she's 35 and her mother is 59) it's unlikely that the relationship will change much or ever be what she'd like it to be. Her mother is not a very open or emotional person, and knowing her as I do, she's not going to be the kind of mother my niece wants and needs her to be.

I told her that the longer she keeps counting on change, the longer she keeps kind of torturing herself. I advised her that maybe it would be easily to just accept that the relationship wasn't what she'd like it to be, and to be thankful for the relationship she DID have with my own mother (her grandmother), which was much more of a mother/daughter type dynamic.

I know that's not easy. Family ties (not pun intended) are very strong and we all really WANT a positive relationship with our families. But as with my niece, sometimes you get a kind of surrogate relationship that ends up being just as enriching and good as the typical relationship (i.e. my niece having a mother figure in her grandma).

You're a good and worthy person, Jenny. Whether your mom recognizes that or not doesn't change the truth of it. I hope you always keep in mind that when this type of thing happens, it's reflects poorly on your mother, but not on you.

Why do your Mother and your Sister continue to abuse you like this? Why do you continue to put up with it? Please put some distance between you and them so that this situation will not end up destroying your self esteem or your health.

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I don't think that's going to work because the sister was FIRST handling the hot food and gave it to her.