(The Boston Celtics beat the NY Knicks 96-93.)

(Ralph is in the bus depot locker room with Freddie Muller. Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Hello guys! I am assuming Ralph that you saw the pathetic Knicks game last night."

Ralph: "Yes, I did. But, with the series shifting to New York, I got a feeling that the Knicks will win game 3."

Freddie: "I don't know Ralph. The Celtics look to be tough. I can only imagine how tough they would be if Shaq was on the team."

Ralph: "Are you kidding? Shaq is a shell of his former self. If I step on his foot, I would hurt him."

Ed: "That is no surprise given who you are."

Ralph: "Oh, you are riot. It doesn't matter who the Celtics bring to their game. They can bring their coach Doc Rivers, Ray Allen, Shaq, Kevin Garnett etc. The Knicks will OWN them. I qould love it if they got on my bus. I would give them a piece of my mind."

Freddie: "Oh, you would Ralph? I bet they would probably try to beat you up."

Ed: "Doc Rivers. You mean that their coach is a doctor?"

Ralph: "No, you stupe. Doc is his name."

Freddie: "How about for game 3, we all make a pact to watch the game."

Ralph: "Yes, at my house. Alice will serve dinner. I will call her up right now."

(Ralph goes to the phone and calls Alice.)

Ralph: "Alice, for game 3 of the Knicks and Celtics, me, Norton, and Freddie Muller are going to eat over and we want you to serve dinner for all of us."

Alice (yells over the phone): "WHAT? ARE YOU NUTS? I HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE FEEDING YOU."

Ralph (yells): "ALICE, I AM THE KING OF THE HOUSEHOLD. DO WHAT I SAY. I AM THE KING OF THE HOUSEHOLD AND YOU ARE NOTHING."

(Alice hangs up.)

Ralph: "I guess I will make dinner then. Do you guys like toast?"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

"Vacation At Fred's Landing" (1954 version):

(A "real" bear comes to Ed. Ed thinks that it's Ralph in disguise. Ralph is in back of Ed.)

Ralph: "Norton, I am over here."

Ed (yells in fright): "EEE!"

"The Loudspeaker":

Ed: "You got a call from the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler, the emperor of all Raccoondoom? I don't believe it."

Ralph: "Sure you don't because you never got a call from him."

Ed: "He doesn't have to call me. He works right beside me in the sewer."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.)

Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami."

Ed: "What's the clue?"

"Sleppy Time Gal":

(Alice is making the Great Fatchumara, Ralph & Ed think that she is hypnotized.)

G.F.: "Mrs. Kramden, what do you think of your husband?"

Alice: "I don't want him. You can have him. He's too fat for me."

"The Sleepwalker":

Doctor: "Mr. Norton, I want you to count down from 100."

Ed: "100...99...98...97...3."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Thelma: "O-KAY"

Ralph: "I said stop saying O-Kay It's very good sir, this happens to be my guest and I am your employer."

Thelma: "Some guest and some employer, The SIMP and the BLIMP!!"

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Ralph: "How could I get there as fast as you Alice?"

Ed: "Take off 90 pounds."

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Ralph: "What kind of a mind must a man have to put a lit cigarette in a sink loaded with balloons?"

Ed: "What kind of mind must you have to have a sink full of balloons?"

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

Ralph: "Now what we have to do is wait for Mr. Gleason to show up."

Ed: "That could be kind of tough. With the way that he's built, it's hard to tell if he's coming or going."