Meredith Baxter is 2-2 when it comes to Today show appearances and massive personal revelations.

Last time she sat down with Matt Lauer, she revealed she was a lesbian. This time? She shared her battle with being in an allegedly abusive marriage with former costar David Birney.

The 63-year-old former Family Ties star was married to Birney, her Bridget Loves Birney costar and father of three of her children, for 15 years, ending in divorce in 1989. But she revealed on the Today show this morning, and indeed in her new memoir Untied, that their marriage was one of emotional and physical abuse.

The 71-year-old Birney, Lauer noted during the interview, denies all the allegations.

"What I got out of it eventually was I had to change my thinking," Baxter said. "I had to look, if I did not want to be a victim—and I'd been committed to being a victim for a long time because it felt really warm and comfortable and familiar—but it was a disastrous position to be in. So I had to change my thinking. I had to look at, what was my part? What was in my thinking that told me it was okay to be in this relationship?"

The question, as always, is why would she stay in a 17-year relationship (they were together for two years before swapping vows) if it was abusive?

"That's what everyone would want to know," she said. "I didn't know I had a choice. I didn't know I could go."

"It wasn't an accident that we were together," the actress added. "He's not going to pick someone who's on top of themselves and confident and aggressive, no, he needs to pick someone for him to be who he needed to be, it needed to be someone who was mousy and quiet and retiring, and that's what I was."

Her work helped a bit, providing relief, but Baxter said she didn't open up to her famous costars about her plight.

"You learn to compartmentalize. When I got to the studio, my home life was not happening. Nobody knew anything. I didn't have a social life. I did my work, I went home."

Still, Baxter has now put the past behind her, while taking care to be informed by her past mistakes.

"I was so un-self-examined as a child. I was always trying to keep my head above water. I had no sense of who I was, I was just trying to save my life on a daily basis," she said, going on to explain that her head-in-the-sand style of living was responsible for her remaining closeted (albeit unbeknownst to her) for so many years.

"People say, 'You had to have known know you were gay.' I realized, I was so un-self-examined, I could have been a Republican, but no, I'm just gay. That's much better, don't you think?"

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b228628_meredith_baxter_reveals_abusive.html#ixzz1FNZDoqt5

I'm just glad she got herself out of there and she has learned to be happy with who she is.

clip (http://www.examiner.com/tv-over-20-in-national/meredith-baxter-talks-to-matt-lauer-on-today-video)

I wonder if she felt pressured to share this. Perhaps a tabloid got wind of it like when she came out.

Picture of Meredith's family (1980's).

Ehh, I hope it isn't true but there's no reason for her to lie. I remember watching Bridget Loves Bernie way back when; they seemed like a great couple but then again that's TV and really bears no relation to reality.

Kind of wish she hadn't thrown in the unnecessary political jab at the end. Again, lifetime Dem here but tired, oh so tired of the hatred. :rolleyes:

Such a shame. I remember that the end of their marriage coincided with the end of Family Ties in 1989, and that the divorce was not amicable, but I never thought that abuse had played a part (if it is indeed true - but who knows? Her star went on the rise in the 80s with Family Ties while his career seemed stagnant. Maybe he DID let out anger on her, who knows?). Here are some photos of them in happier days, as well as a 1985 joint interview.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv7U8yxX6EU

Yeah honestly he never did much beyond BLB. I remember him showing up on some Love Boat and Fantasy Island episodes, but I can't even remember if he ever had a regular series again. And just as an aside, I always used to get him confused with Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea's David Hedison! :crazy:

http://www.nndb.com/people/694/000026616/hedison01.jpg

Yeah honestly he never did much beyond BLB. I remember him showing up on some Love Boat and Fantasy Island episodes, but I can't even remember if he ever had a regular series again. And just as an aside, I always used to get him confused with Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea's David Hedison! :crazy:

http://www.nndb.com/people/694/000026616/hedison01.jpg
He was on St. Elsewhere during the first season but he left with no explanation of what happened to his character. He also had a starring role on the short lived NBC series Serpico in the 1970's which was based on the Al Pacino movie.

He was on a Deep Space Nine episode, which I've included here. He's done guest spots and plays, but nothing really major.

Yeah honestly he never did much beyond BLB. I remember him showing up on some Love Boat and Fantasy Island episodes, but I can't even remember if he ever had a regular series again. And just as an aside, I always used to get him confused with Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea's David Hedison! :crazy:

http://www.nndb.com/people/694/000026616/hedison01.jpg
David Birney was a regular for one season of St. Elsewhere (1982-83). He was also a regular on a short lived series called Live Shot in 1995.

He was on St. Elsewhere during the first season but he left with no explanation of what happened to his character. He also had a starring role on the short lived NBC series Serpico in the 1970's which was based on the Al Pacino movie.

That's too bad. He was an appealing leading man, if I recall correctly. (hitting myself for not recalling his DS9 appearance, too; that's one of my favorite sci fi shows!)

In DS9, he actually looks quite like Leonard Nimoy!!

I think this lady is a bit of a nutcase.

She's now a lesbian after being married to three men with five children? Either this person was in denial about her sexuality or this is a great example of sexual choice. Maybe she's a bisexual who is now trying her gay side in her senior years. Who knows. Maybe she could of married Michael Gross since he already had a beard and knew how a beard should act.

Her divorce from Birney happened in 1989. If he was a wife hitting jerkwad, she could of made that known then. Maybe it was. But after 21 years, and her being married to yet another man, she should not call him names without some proof.

I would hate to be her child, jumping from husband to husband before deciding that she was a homosexual. Gay is now so in vogue that she probably said she was one to get publicity, because no one really cared about her anymore, at least in the business. I never understood her success in the first place, she wasn't pretty at all and had a man's voice.

I'm dumbfounded by what she claims, as far as not knowing she could have gotten out of the marriage. Her own mother was a successful actress -- she must have been familiar with the many Hollywood divorces over the earlier decades...! And we know she was intelligent, yet now she claims she couldn't see that option? Pretty strange.

I'd love it if David Birney came on some show to give his side of the story. I don't know if the story is true or not (I hope MB wouldn't make it up just to sell her book - after all, he still is the father of three of her five kids.) - but I still think it's only fair that both sides of the story are told.

The problem is that we really don't know these people. We think we do because we've invited them into our homes for years but we don't know what they're really like. I've always Liked Meredith. I've been a fan of hers since she starred on Family. She was very instrumental in the success of Family Ties, one of my favorite sitcoms of all time. I've also always Liked David Birney. I thought they had a great marriage, I guess I was wrong. I do agree that it's unfair to come out with this after all these many years after the divorce with no proof. I don't see what's to gain by it all. If she has proof, then she should show it. She does come off as a very mixed up individual.

The problem is that we really don't know these people. We think we do because we've invited them into our homes for years but we don't know what they're really like.

I agree. I don't think we all really know these people. We think we do because we watched them on tv.

I agree. I don't think we all really know these people. We think we do because we watched them on tv.

Yup, we really don't know what goes on when the cameras are off. :eek:

Oh, another short-lived show David Birney had a lead role on was Glitter, with Morgan Brittany. Has anyone here ever seen it?

Again, I'm sorry things turned out the way they did for this former couple. They made a stunning pair back in the day.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/meredith-baxters-lesbian-lover-tv-stars-children-meet/story?id=13041123

Lesbian Star Sits Down With Former 'Family Ties' Co-Star, Children and Partner Nancy Locke

By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES
March 2, 2011

Meredith Baxter led a "secret life" as an emotionally abused wife for years before learning she was gay and entering "the healthiest relationship I have ever had," the star of the '80s show, "Family Ties," told Oprah Winfrey today while holding the hand of her lesbian partner.

Baxter, 63, also joined by her former television co-star, Michael Gross, and her children, appeared on "Oprah" to discuss her allegedly abusive marriage and what led her to discover she was gay.

"I was a very conventional girl," she told Winfrey. "I was raised in a household where my mother got married and I thought that was what you did."

When she first learned she was a lesbian in 2002, Baxter said, "It didn't scare me and I don't know why I wasn't confused about it."

"I felt alive in way I had not experienced, and life was rife with possibilities," she said. "OK, I'm ready."

Baxter and her partner, general contractor Nancy Locke, 54, have lived together since 2005.

But for 15 years, Baxter alleges in her new book, "Untied," her husband, David Birney, was physically and emotionally abusive, a charge that Birney, now 71, steadfastly has denied.

The couple co-starred in the 1970s show "Bridget Loves Birney." They divorced in 1989.

"Nobody knew. It was a secret life," said Baxter. "Nobody knew on the show at all because it was important for me to maintain some separation."

Baxter said that she turned to alcohol to numb the pain, driving home from the set of "Family Ties" with a tumbler full of wine.

"Reckless. Crazed and reckless and unmindful of anybody else," Baxter said of her behavior. "I was so caught up on my own hurt, and I deserved this because everything else is so horrible. I don't know what I was saying to myself but I was so angry."

Gross, who played Baxter's husband on "Family Ties" and sat by her side on "Oprah," said that for the first six years of the television show nobody knew anything.

Baxter eventually had a breakdown while Birney was working in Europe, she said.

"I was standing backstage rehearsing a sequence," she said. "Out of nowhere, [Michael Gross] said, 'David comes home soon.'"

"I burst into tears and he said, 'Oh, you must miss him so much," said Baxter. "I totally lost it."

"I was so afraid of him and he was coming back," she said, crying.

"I didn't know what she meant at the time," said Gross. "She and David were the poster child for a marriage going well. We didn't know because she kept her mouth shut."

"It was the first time that I kind of unloaded and told him everything that had been going on," said Baxter.

Michael J. Fox Acknowledges Baxter's 'Sadness'

Actor Michael J. Fox, who starred as the right-wing son on "Family Ties" and appeared remotely on "Oprah," said he always sensed "a sadness underneath."

The alcohol abuse was "a symptom as much as a problem," said Fox. "It was a red flag. I knew she was having problems with David."

Of her relationship with Locke, he said: "She found someone she loved, and [she] deserves a big plate of happiness to be who she is and who she wants to share her life with."

"Meredith, I wish I could be there with you," said Fox. "I love you so much. Just love."

Baxter said the first inkling that there was trouble in what seemed to others to be an idyllic marriage was when she was four months pregnant with twins, Peter and Mollie, who were born in 1984. She and Birney were on a trip to Italy, she said, and they disagreed on names.

"He got up and he left the table and I finished my dinner, and he didn't come back," she said. "I had to make my way back to the hotel, and I didn't know where we were. ... All the way back to the hotel, I was thinking, 'What's wrong with me that I'm so easy to walk out on? What's wrong with me?'"

In her book, Baxter describes herself as "mousy and quiet and retiring," but said she no longer feels like a victim.

Her son Ted Bush, from a prior marriage, said the abuse "wasn't physical but a constant denigration, a belittling, 'your opinion doesn't matter, you're not worthy, you're not responsible enough.'"

Her daughter Mollie confirmed that Birney was volatile.

"His blowing up wasn't flipping tables or throwing chairs, not that he wasn't capable of it," she said. "There was an element that was humiliating."

The day she broke off the relationship, Baxter said, she was standing at the stove.

"He comes in the kitchen and he sits down and says, 'Let's talk about what we're going to do so next year it's not a disaster,'" she said.

She told him there would not be a next year and that ended the marriage.

"You were mashing potatoes, he was watching a football game and you were crying into the mashed potatoes," said Mollie. "I said, 'What are you waiting for?'"

"I didn't know what I was waiting for, but those were the words that somehow empowered me to say there's not going to be a next time," said Baxter. "I don't know what it meant. ... I had no great groundswell of courage that accompanied those words but that's what led to the eventual divorce."

'Family Ties' Star Comes Out as Lesbian
In 2005, Baxter came out as a lesbian, a process that she described as "slower than most."

"My mother had died the year before and the youngest children, Mollie and her twin brother, were gone off to college, and I no longer had someone to worry about in my life, and I was no longer afraid of my mother and her opinion of me," she said.

She first had a crush on a woman named Paula who was 25 years younger than Baxter.

"I never had those feelings before," Baxter told Winfrey. "I started to notice where she was all the time."

Her relationship with Locke was not easy, at first.

"The fact that she wasn't out was very challenging," said Locke. "I didn't know when it was OK to hold her hand. ... She would drop my hand [in public] and it hurt my feelings."

Baxter said she didn't know how being a lesbian would affect her work and was afraid to come out.

"I didn't want to hide," said Locke.

"I am still not totally comfortable now," said Baxter. "I am aware of people looking at women holding hands. But I am getting used to it. And if we can continue to show a sense of normalcy, that's important."

At one point, Winfrey asked Baxter's children if they knew their mother was gay. Mollie said she was "stunned."

"Oh, I knew by process of elimination," said her son, Ted Bush. "She had all these lesbians hanging around the house."

Baxter admitted she could have "done it better, show up for the kids the way I didn't know how to do.

"But, it's a learning process."

Here's the transcript from the Oprah appearance plus photos:

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Meredith-Baxter-Tells-All/1

^ Great pics and text, Monika. Thanks for the effort!

You're welcome!!

I watched the Oprah episode, which I thought was really good. Both her kids and Michael Gross backed her up on her claims.

I didn't see the episode - were all of her kids there? The ones I know for sure that were present - Ted (Meredith's son by her first husband) and Mollie, one of the twins born during the run of FT.

Here's another screen shot of Meredith during her interview with Oprah:

I didn't see the episode - were all of her kids there? The ones I know for sure that were present - Ted (Meredith's son by her first husband) and Mollie, one of the twins born during the run of FT.

Ted, Mollie and Eva were there.

Ted, Mollie and Eva were there.

Thanks - I assume Eva was the one with the purplish hair? Or was that Mollie?

Thanks - I assume Eva was the one with the purplish hair? Or was that Mollie?

No problem. Yeah, Eva had the purple hair.

Thanks!! Did they ever explain why Kate and Peter (Meredith's other two children with David Birney) were not there?

Oh, another short-lived show David Birney had a lead role on was Glitter, with Morgan Brittany. Has anyone here ever seen it?

Again, I'm sorry things turned out the way they did for this former couple. They made a stunning pair back in the day.i saw one ep of glitter and turned it off halfway through it was a lousy show imho

Glad I never saw it! I did find the shot of him from the opening credits, however:

And just as an aside, I always used to get him confused with Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea's David Hedison! :crazy:

Speaking of which, David Hedison did play one of Meredith's love interests on Family:

Here are some more pics of them from David Hedison's official website: http://davidhedison.net - and this was not the first time they'd worked together. They both also appeared in 1973's The Cat Creature.

That is poor and abusive woman. Watching the interview on Oprah you can tell her kids from her first marriage could not stand David. It shows that one cannot judge on appearance. I always had a crush on Meredith especially when she was on Family.

Plus his OWN daughter, Mollie, didn't have very flattering things to say about him, either.

Plus his OWN daughter, Mollie, didn't have very flattering things to say about him, either.
Very true.

Didn't David adopt Meredith's older children? I read that once somewhere.

I'm really, really confused what to think about this. What also confuses me is that of the 3 kids she had with David, only one was present. Only one of the 3 is speaking out against their biological dad.

Also, why is she coming out with this 20 years later, although I can understand that maybe she was waiting till all her children were grown.

I don't know - but waiting until the kids were grown is certainly a valid reason.

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Entertainment/20110304/meredith-baxter-untied-book-tour-110304/

The Canadian Press

Date: Fri. Mar. 4 2011 2:47 PM ET


TORONTO — "Family Ties" star Meredith Baxter says she's "appalled" that media coverage of her new memoir has focused so heavily on the book's allegations that she suffered domestic abuse during her marriage to actor David Birney.

"It's one thing to write about it. It's another thing to be saying it to someone and then to see it blasted (in) some headline knowing that David's going to have to ... see that," Baxter said Friday during a round of interviews in Toronto, the latest stop in a week-long interview blitz that has included "Oprah" and "The Today Show."

"I feel bad for him. Who wants that kind of stuff?"

The book, called "Untied," chronicles Baxter's difficult childhood, her rise to stardom on "Family" and "Family Ties," and her three failed marriages, which produced five children. It also delves into her battles with alcoholism and cancer, and her decision in December 2009 to come out as a lesbian.

Despite that wealth of material, much of the attention surrounding "Untied" -- which hit store shelves this week -- has focused on the abuse that Baxter alleges to have occurred during her 15-year marriage to Birney.

The pair became media darlings after playing the leads on the '70s TV show "Bridget Loves Bernie." They had three children and divorced in 1989. Baxter's book describes the legal proceedings surrounding the split as protracted and acrimonious.

In "Untied," Baxter, 63, alleges that Birney hit her more than once.

"It was so sudden and unexpected, I couldn't tell you which hand hit me, or even how hard," she writes.

"I do recall thinking, 'I'd better not get up because he's going to hit me again."'

Birney, 71, has denied the allegations.

In an email to The Canadian Press this week, entertainment public relations firm Rogers and Cowan said Birney is "letting the court records -- which repeatedly dismissed Ms. Baxter's allegations as groundless -- speak for themselves."

In recent days, Baxter has received some high-profile support while promoting her book.

On "Oprah," she was taken by surprise when Michael Gross, who played her husband on "Family Ties," joined her onstage. In "Untied," Baxter says Gross was one of the first people she spoke to about her problems with Birney.

Canadian Michael J. Fox, who shot to superstardom as her ultra-conservative son Alex P. Keaton on "Ties," also made a taped appearance on "Oprah."

On Friday, Baxter said the abuse headlines "distort" the content of her memoir.

"That wasn't what the book is about," she said.

"My goal was to talk about what my thinking was. ... That was part of my life. ... I think there's a real lesson to learn for people who have been in situations where they perceive themselves as a victim ... abuse is going on, and we stay, because we don't know we can leave."

She acknowledges that the book's release may have been difficult for Birney, who has appeared in numerous TV series, including "Murder She Wrote" and "St. Elsewhere."

She said she told one of her kids to pass on the message that he should just "be quiet" about the allegations in the book.

"That wasn't the goal, to give him a tough week," she said.

"I don't think anyone is going to deal with something like that very well. I think it's a lot of attention, and he doesn't have a platform to defend himself. Frankly, it's probably better for him not to defend himself because then it would just throw fire on my position."

Baxter says she hopes readers will realize that they "don't have to be a victim."

"I defined myself by my victimhood. ... It's not a terrible thing to accept responsibility because then you can go change something. I want people to know they can do that," she says.

"(I want people to know) that if you're in a domestic abuse situation, you don't have to stay there ... that if you're gay or lesbian and you're hiding ... I'm not going to tell people to come out, because that's a very individual thing, but to tell people that it might be better than you think."

After all the tumult described in "Untied," Baxter says she's finally doing "great."

"I'm in my post-floundering years," she says.

"I'm happier than I've ever been. Not having any secrets ... there's no illusions you can have about me. ... I've learned stuff, it took me an awful long time to learn it, longer than the average bear. But you know, better late than never."

Monika, thanks for the Hedison info. I bet that's one reason I get him mixed up with Birney; I saw the Cat Creature years ago (not when it first aired, but later on a late night horror show, maybe early 80's). That plus their vague resemblance must have done it. Thanks again! :)

No problemo!!! :cool: :D This may be of some interest: the screen captures come from the Season 2 premiere of Family, which was Meredith's first episode of the show. She replaced Elayne Heilveil, who played the role of Nancy Lawrence Maitland in the short (six week) first season. It came down to Meredith or Cheryl Ladd to replace Ms. Heilveil. Meredith won the part, Cheryl Ladd went on to Charlie's Angels, and the rest is TV history!!

^ Hmm, don't think I saw any eps with the other lady as Nancy. I thought that Baxter-Birney was great in that role. And obviously it worked out for Ladd, as well! :)

Here's Elayne Heilveil, the first Nancy, on the far right:

Nope, I don't recall that lady.

Heh, I always thought Rubenstein's character was a jerk, lol. :D

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Entertainment/20110304/meredith-baxter-untied-book-tour-110304/

The Canadian Press

Date: Fri. Mar. 4 2011 2:47 PM ET


TORONTO — "Family Ties" star Meredith Baxter says she's "appalled" that media coverage of her new memoir has focused so heavily on the book's allegations that she suffered domestic abuse during her marriage to actor David Birney.

"It's one thing to write about it. It's another thing to be saying it to someone and then to see it blasted (in) some headline knowing that David's going to have to ... see that," Baxter said Friday during a round of interviews in Toronto, the latest stop in a week-long interview blitz that has included "Oprah" and "The Today Show."

"I feel bad for him. Who wants that kind of stuff?"

The book, called "Untied," chronicles Baxter's difficult childhood, her rise to stardom on "Family" and "Family Ties," and her three failed marriages, which produced five children. It also delves into her battles with alcoholism and cancer, and her decision in December 2009 to come out as a lesbian.

Despite that wealth of material, much of the attention surrounding "Untied" -- which hit store shelves this week -- has focused on the abuse that Baxter alleges to have occurred during her 15-year marriage to Birney.

The pair became media darlings after playing the leads on the '70s TV show "Bridget Loves Bernie." They had three children and divorced in 1989. Baxter's book describes the legal proceedings surrounding the split as protracted and acrimonious.

In "Untied," Baxter, 63, alleges that Birney hit her more than once.

"It was so sudden and unexpected, I couldn't tell you which hand hit me, or even how hard," she writes.

"I do recall thinking, 'I'd better not get up because he's going to hit me again."'

Birney, 71, has denied the allegations.

In an email to The Canadian Press this week, entertainment public relations firm Rogers and Cowan said Birney is "letting the court records -- which repeatedly dismissed Ms. Baxter's allegations as groundless -- speak for themselves."

In recent days, Baxter has received some high-profile support while promoting her book.

On "Oprah," she was taken by surprise when Michael Gross, who played her husband on "Family Ties," joined her onstage. In "Untied," Baxter says Gross was one of the first people she spoke to about her problems with Birney.

Canadian Michael J. Fox, who shot to superstardom as her ultra-conservative son Alex P. Keaton on "Ties," also made a taped appearance on "Oprah."

On Friday, Baxter said the abuse headlines "distort" the content of her memoir.

"That wasn't what the book is about," she said.

"My goal was to talk about what my thinking was. ... That was part of my life. ... I think there's a real lesson to learn for people who have been in situations where they perceive themselves as a victim ... abuse is going on, and we stay, because we don't know we can leave."

She acknowledges that the book's release may have been difficult for Birney, who has appeared in numerous TV series, including "Murder She Wrote" and "St. Elsewhere."

She said she told one of her kids to pass on the message that he should just "be quiet" about the allegations in the book.

"That wasn't the goal, to give him a tough week," she said.

"I don't think anyone is going to deal with something like that very well. I think it's a lot of attention, and he doesn't have a platform to defend himself. Frankly, it's probably better for him not to defend himself because then it would just throw fire on my position."

Baxter says she hopes readers will realize that they "don't have to be a victim."

"I defined myself by my victimhood. ... It's not a terrible thing to accept responsibility because then you can go change something. I want people to know they can do that," she says.

"(I want people to know) that if you're in a domestic abuse situation, you don't have to stay there ... that if you're gay or lesbian and you're hiding ... I'm not going to tell people to come out, because that's a very individual thing, but to tell people that it might be better than you think."

After all the tumult described in "Untied," Baxter says she's finally doing "great."

"I'm in my post-floundering years," she says.

"I'm happier than I've ever been. Not having any secrets ... there's no illusions you can have about me. ... I've learned stuff, it took me an awful long time to learn it, longer than the average bear. But you know, better late than never."
Very confusing. She slams him in her book but then feels sorry for him when the media wants to focus on the allegations.

Nope, I don't recall that lady.

Heh, I always thought Rubenstein's character was a jerk, lol. :D

He sure was! In the pilot episode, Nancy (Elayne Heilveil) walked in on him in bed with one of her friends!! :eek: :eek: :eek: Also, Elayne Heilveil's Nancy was written as quite different from Meredith Baxter's Nancy. The first Nancy was brunette and while pretty, was kind of mousy and milquetoast. After that explosive first episode, Nancy just kind of faded into the wallpaper. She was only in 4 of those first 6 episodes. Then Meredith took over and Nancy became a blond bombshell who wasn't afraid to use her body to get what she wanted.

Very confusing. She slams him in her book but then feels sorry for him when the media wants to focus on the allegations.

Sonny, great minds think alike!! That was the first thing I thought. I am reading the book now (I checked it out of the library this afternoon) and kind remarks about him are very few and far between. I haven't read the whole thing yet, but I am just at where Family Ties has ended, so their divorce can't be too far ahead in the book.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20471466,00.html

David Birney Denies Abuse Claims by Meredith Baxter

By Mike Fleeman
Friday March 04, 2011 08:55 PM EST

Breaking his silence, David Birney issued a forceful denial of ex-wife Meredith Baxter's allegations he abused her during their 16-year marriage.

In a statement to PEOPLE on Friday, the actor, 71, calls her claims "an appalling abuse of the truth" and derided her new memoir, Untied, as "a kind of fairy tale."

After their divorce 20 years ago, he says, Baxter "conducted a relentless and brutal assault" for eight years against their shared custody of their three children in what he called an attempt "to destroy that arrangement and replace it with herself as sole custodian."

"During that time she arrived in court repeatedly with various lawyers and several therapists, 'recovered memories,' accusations of abuse – a common charge in custody disputes – and tales of our life together that bore little resemblance to truth – a mean spirited process that battered us all, especially the children," he says. "The court denied her suit on every occasion."

The pair continued to have shared custody until their children went to college, he says, adding, "This current recycled version of our family story is no more credible now than it was then."

Birney says he found it "immensely sad and truly absurd" that in the memoir Baxter "is unable to reclaim a single instance of joy or pleasure in all that time, not one occasion of love or delight or accomplishment in our entire life together as we built a family. Not one.

"Nothing from our first meeting to divorce. Nothing, in sixteen years. Really?" he continues.

"This blanket omission, this unrelieved denial of even a single instance of joy or pleasure in the creation of a family, the substance and amazing joy of raising children together, of simply being together with them during that time, is incomprehensible. And sad."

He concludes by saying, "Meredith’s own account of these years is its own rebuke to her credibility. "

In the memoir, Baxter, 63, who came out as a lesbian in 2009, claims that Birney struck her on more than one occasion.

"It was so sudden and unexpected, I couldn't tell you which hand hit me, or even how hard," she writes. "I do recall thinking, 'I'd better not get up because he's going to hit me again.' "

The entire Oprah episode is now on YouTube, for those interested.

I saw Meredith's interview with Matt Lauer and I was really put off by that cheap shot she took at Republicans. And Lauer laughed like a school girl. I wish that celebrities could just keep their mouths shut when it comes to politics.

I felt that was in poor taste, myself. But I will say that by reading the book, I'm glad I'm not the only one who found David Birney. I've seen him in other projects over the years and something about him always seemed sinister. Does anyone else know what I mean?

I don't honestly see that -- I mean would he have gotten the Bridget Loves Bernie series if he had a "sinister" countenance...? We all know that looks are so heavily hereditary and have nothing to do with a person's character or good/evil.

I don't necessarily mean his looks per se - just an aura that he gives off. I've known blond, WASP-y men in my own life who gave off that creepy vibe. I really don't know how to express it in the right way, but I'm not knocking his looks.

I saw Meredith's interview with Matt Lauer and I was really put off by that cheap shot she took at Republicans. And Lauer laughed like a school girl. I wish that celebrities could just keep their mouths shut when it comes to politics.

Ditto!!