I read many years ago that Phil Ober possibly physically abused Viv. Does anyone know if this is true, or just gossip?

It's true, Lucille Ball even went as far as to tell Viv that if she didn't divorce Ober then she would or something like that.

...a good actor, yes- but sometimes, his roles sometimes reflected the kind of person he was- brusque, formal, and occasionally insensitive.

When he appeared in the "I DREAM OF JEANNIE" pilot (and fourth episode) as "General Stone", he had a line that wasn't included in the final version of the episode that aired, but I saw him deliver it in the unaired version of the pilot. It was the scene where the General and his daughter Melissa {Tony's fiancee} are visiting him after Jeannie briefly turned Tony's living room into a "Sultan's Den", blinking it out just as they walked in! Well, the General isn't pleased about Tony's "odd behavior" during the entire day, and lets him know how displeased he is:

"Great military tradition in my family! I've been in the service all my life, and my father was in the service before me, and his father, before him. If I thought anyone would tarnish that record, I'd break him!"

Very tough, the way Ober delivered those lines. I can imagine the fights he had with Vivian in that same tone...

:tv:

I guess it surprises me ... I know the 1950s were a different time, but they did not have children together, she was successful, attractive, and able to support herself financially ... why would she tolerate that??

I wonder if the marriage played a part in her mental breakdown. :(

I'm sure it contributed to it, yes. I've heard real horror stories between Vance and Ober - their marriage definitely contributed to her mental breakdown.

Why would Viv stay in a marraige like that for so long?

I think, partly, she stayed in the marriage for so long is for the reason is that divorce was a stigma for woman whom initiated it; it was twenty-some years after they divorced that divorce would be accepted.

I'm just happy that Viv did eventually free herself and that her next (and final) marriage to John Dodds was a very happy one. (At least it was by everything I've heard/read.) They were married from 1961 until her passing in 1979.