ABlairican Pie
12-22-2001, 03:01 PM
Hello again!! If you haven't read Part 1, READ IT FIRST!!!!
AND YES, THIS REALLY DID HAPPEN, WOULDN'T LIE ABOUT THIS.
So where I left off. Found that I got a pager message from my mother, wanted me to call ASAP. Oh, typical. I'd call her up the next day (Monday.) So she just wanted me to keep in touch, come up some time and help her with errands...And it seemed she had been sick for weeks, coughing and sounding hoarse. Dust and chemicals at the Auburn Boeing plant must have been getting to her. Next day my brother calls me up at work and asks
me if my mother told me much more about what was going on. Oh, she was sick, must have been too much stress from work and all. "Is that ALL she told you?" Then he tells me the real story:
My mother had cancer resurface in the liver, beneath the lungs (which was causing fluid to affect breathing), and also lymphoma
(Fills the L category...). He said the cancer was not curable, though it was treatable, but doctors gave her between several months and a few years. So there was something for me tocontemplate. the days that followed, I received repeated pager messages about what to do, how to help, and all these things--and I just was not ready to deal with it at this point.
I am not especially close to people in my family, so having to be out there and express your feelings or your real self is not a very
easy thing to do, you just don't feel comfortable with them--even when your mother's health is in decline. My brother does get intimidating. You almost don't know how to show the real you
to people who don't seem to take you seriously. So these repeated pagers got irritating very quickly (I have a disconnected phone). He made the point that people react to this kind of news all differently, so when I laughed nervously when I was at a loss for words, he asked me "what are you giggling at??" Hard person to deal with. So I had to prepare for the inevitable, my mother was going to be gone maybe sooner than I felt, and maybe that source of stability would be gone with her.
So while I was dealing with this crisis, I found out another cool bit of news on Lisa's website--SHE WOULD BE APPEARING AT A CHURCH IN BELLEVUE--JUST A FEW MILES FROM HERE!! Not too far from where I used to live about ten years ago, how cool was that?!! I was DEFINITELY GOING TO SEE HER ON AUGUST 5TH!!
But during the week before, my pager wouldn't stop going off. At work, on the bus, wherever. I just wanted to be left alone to deal
with this on my own terms (and how does that happen??) But I think the problem was not so much of dealing with my mother's illness as with your family would see how un-together you are and having to deal with your own personal situations--I just was not ready for this, had my own problems to take care of. It was not that I was being insensitive to my mother, it was just a totally unfamiliar situation no one feels very secure about. How DO we deal with it?? One thing I was NOT going to do was miss Lisa's appearance in Bellevue-- I felt that that would be a great source of strength and encouragement for me. I had started a new direction once again with Christ the week before at the church Lisa visited in Bellingham, and now I could see how God's timing was happening. The one thing I hoped and prayed would NOT happen was any kind of emergency at my mother's home this first weekend in August, or any kind of thing where it would be necessary to call off my plans for going to Bellevue. I did NOT want that at all--no pagers, nothing. I needed some inner strength for myself before I could deal with anything at home.
So the SAturday the 4th of August came, and I was ready to go
up to Bellevue for church the next morning. No super-early buses
(I have no car), so I figured I'd just check into a motel in Bellevue.
Stopped off in Renton for a Chinese take out meal at Safeway, then back on the bus to Bellevue. Passed through Newport Hills just south of town, past my old neighborhood, saw a church--NEWPORT COVENANT CHURCH WELCOMES "BLAIR WARNER"--that was the place I needed to be tomorrow!! Went into swanky downtown Bellevue, scarfed on my Chinese meal, and began to look for a cheap motel. None there that would take cash, only credit cards. Mine's maxed out, so I figured the only thing left to do to get there tomorrow morning was--WALK.
(I'll finish this in a little bit, hold tight!!)
AND YES, THIS REALLY DID HAPPEN, WOULDN'T LIE ABOUT THIS.
So where I left off. Found that I got a pager message from my mother, wanted me to call ASAP. Oh, typical. I'd call her up the next day (Monday.) So she just wanted me to keep in touch, come up some time and help her with errands...And it seemed she had been sick for weeks, coughing and sounding hoarse. Dust and chemicals at the Auburn Boeing plant must have been getting to her. Next day my brother calls me up at work and asks
me if my mother told me much more about what was going on. Oh, she was sick, must have been too much stress from work and all. "Is that ALL she told you?" Then he tells me the real story:
My mother had cancer resurface in the liver, beneath the lungs (which was causing fluid to affect breathing), and also lymphoma
(Fills the L category...). He said the cancer was not curable, though it was treatable, but doctors gave her between several months and a few years. So there was something for me tocontemplate. the days that followed, I received repeated pager messages about what to do, how to help, and all these things--and I just was not ready to deal with it at this point.
I am not especially close to people in my family, so having to be out there and express your feelings or your real self is not a very
easy thing to do, you just don't feel comfortable with them--even when your mother's health is in decline. My brother does get intimidating. You almost don't know how to show the real you
to people who don't seem to take you seriously. So these repeated pagers got irritating very quickly (I have a disconnected phone). He made the point that people react to this kind of news all differently, so when I laughed nervously when I was at a loss for words, he asked me "what are you giggling at??" Hard person to deal with. So I had to prepare for the inevitable, my mother was going to be gone maybe sooner than I felt, and maybe that source of stability would be gone with her.
So while I was dealing with this crisis, I found out another cool bit of news on Lisa's website--SHE WOULD BE APPEARING AT A CHURCH IN BELLEVUE--JUST A FEW MILES FROM HERE!! Not too far from where I used to live about ten years ago, how cool was that?!! I was DEFINITELY GOING TO SEE HER ON AUGUST 5TH!!
But during the week before, my pager wouldn't stop going off. At work, on the bus, wherever. I just wanted to be left alone to deal
with this on my own terms (and how does that happen??) But I think the problem was not so much of dealing with my mother's illness as with your family would see how un-together you are and having to deal with your own personal situations--I just was not ready for this, had my own problems to take care of. It was not that I was being insensitive to my mother, it was just a totally unfamiliar situation no one feels very secure about. How DO we deal with it?? One thing I was NOT going to do was miss Lisa's appearance in Bellevue-- I felt that that would be a great source of strength and encouragement for me. I had started a new direction once again with Christ the week before at the church Lisa visited in Bellingham, and now I could see how God's timing was happening. The one thing I hoped and prayed would NOT happen was any kind of emergency at my mother's home this first weekend in August, or any kind of thing where it would be necessary to call off my plans for going to Bellevue. I did NOT want that at all--no pagers, nothing. I needed some inner strength for myself before I could deal with anything at home.
So the SAturday the 4th of August came, and I was ready to go
up to Bellevue for church the next morning. No super-early buses
(I have no car), so I figured I'd just check into a motel in Bellevue.
Stopped off in Renton for a Chinese take out meal at Safeway, then back on the bus to Bellevue. Passed through Newport Hills just south of town, past my old neighborhood, saw a church--NEWPORT COVENANT CHURCH WELCOMES "BLAIR WARNER"--that was the place I needed to be tomorrow!! Went into swanky downtown Bellevue, scarfed on my Chinese meal, and began to look for a cheap motel. None there that would take cash, only credit cards. Mine's maxed out, so I figured the only thing left to do to get there tomorrow morning was--WALK.
(I'll finish this in a little bit, hold tight!!)