I just watched this episode last night for the first time in many years, and it was every bit as amazing as I remember it. "Chuckles Bites the Dust" may be the most famous of all TMTMS episodes, and it is certainly deserving of its fame, but "Once I Had a Secret Love" remains for me the most powerful mix of pathos, hilarity, irony, and, well, love. All the actors (Mary, Ed, Gavin, Betty, and Ted) are in absolute top form, and each gets their own wonderful moments to shine. The script itself is inspired and brings so much substance and reality to the relationships of the principle players. And the theme of betrayal is executed in such an honest and relatable way, and with layers: Lou is betrayed, Mary is betrayed, and for brief moment, so is Sue Ann. Two of the characters wind up being both the victim of betrayal and the culprit. And all this is carried out without compromising who the characters are; they remain truthfully portrayed. It's so incredible to watch 25 minutes of a very touching human drama play out that simultaneously delivers laugh-out-loud moments. The fact that this show seems to be forgotten in the shadow of more famous episodes or moments -- e.g., Chuckles, The Last Show, Mary meeting Rhoda, "I hate spunk," Mary's parties, Sue Ann's bedroom, Sue Ann's affair with Lars, Ted's broadcaster's school, and on and on -- I guess is a testament to how great this series is. If this were an episode of almost any other series, it would probably stand out as the most famous one.

I just watched this episode last night for the first time in many years, and it was every bit as amazing as I remember it. "Chuckles Bites the Dust" may be the most famous of all TMTMS episodes, and it is certainly deserving of its fame, but "Once I Had a Secret Love" remains for me the most powerful mix of pathos, hilarity, irony, and, well, love. All the actors (Mary, Ed, Gavin, Betty, and Ted) are in absolute top form, and each gets their own wonderful moments to shine. The script itself is inspired and brings so much substance and reality to the relationships of the principle players. And the theme of betrayal is executed in such an honest and relatable way, and with layers: Lou is betrayed, Mary is betrayed, and for brief moment, so is Sue Ann. Two of the characters wind up being both the victim of betrayal and the culprit. And all this is carried out without compromising who the characters are; they remain truthfully portrayed. It's so incredible to watch 25 minutes of a very touching human drama play out that simultaneously delivers laugh-out-loud moments. The fact that this show seems to be forgotten in the shadow of more famous episodes or moments -- e.g., Chuckles, The Last Show, Mary meeting Rhoda, "I hate spunk," Mary's parties, Sue Ann's bedroom, Sue Ann's affair with Lars, Ted's broadcaster's school, and on and on -- I guess is a testament to how great this series is. If this were an episode of almost any other series, it would probably stand out as the most famous one.

I agree with each and every word of this post. "Once I Had a Secret Love" has been a favorite of mine forever. I just think it's so well acted by everyone, especially Mary. And I like that there seems to be no subplot, just one issue that's dealt with. It's almost like a play, except that we already know the characters ahead of time.

- Kristen

I agree with each and every word of this post. "Once I Had a Secret Love" has been a favorite of mine forever. I just think it's so well acted by everyone, especially Mary. And I like that there seems to be no subplot, just one issue that's dealt with. It's almost like a play, except that we already know the characters ahead of time.

- Kristen

You've hit upon a key point there: that we already know the characters ahead of time. We know them well. We know how much the mean to one another, how much they care for one another. And that's what makes this story so compelling. This I think is the first, perhaps only, time we see those friendships really in crisis. Most of us, I think, at one time or another, have had a falling out with someone we never imagined that could happen with. And that's what we see playing out in this episode. It's such an intelligent, thoughtful, real, and brilliant script.

It is fitting that this episode gets its own thread; it WAS one of the best of the series!

The first thing I'd note is that, while I realize "Chuckles" now seems to be universally regarded as THE best The Mary Tyler Moore Show episode, and I thought it was fantastic, I personally believe there are others that were at least as good, and "Once I had ... " certainly was one of them.

About the actual ep, I remember being absolutely transfixed at the building emotion in the scenes, and getting a progressively more painful feeling in the pit of my stomach as a) Mary gave up the secret; b) Murray gave up the secret; c) Lou told Mary they were no longer friends.

It was indeed because we knew the characters so well, and that this was a real crisis in a group that had been SO friendly, that this ep was so powerful, and Gavin, Ed, and especially Mary all were tremendous.

Now even as a 16-year-old boy, I knew enough about sitcoms that I didn't think Mary and Lou were going to end up hating each other...but the acting was so good that I was saying to myself, "Holy [expletive], is this really happening?!?!"...and it certainly seemed until the last second that they MIGHT NOT patch things up. It was as if this was happening to people I knew and liked, and I wanted to step in and say, "Hey, wait a minute, we can work this out," but that obviously was impossible.

THEN came the complete and utter relief at the end when they patched it up - I think I was feeling exactly like Mary at that point - and the best part was you knew neither one was going to hold a grudge and things were going to go back to normal at WJM.

Outstanding acting, brilliant writing, top-notch episode overall...standard fare at TMTMS as far as I'm concerned!

P.S. I know I always cite the excellent acting in TMTMS, but it's amazing how many times I end up saying "especially Mary". She indeed let the other cast members shine, but she was the best as far as I'm concerned!

Great comments. And I'm glad to hear yet another person chime in about this wonderful episode. I agree with you and Kristen about Mary's performance; it was superior. Particularly outstanding is her crying scene in the office. She manages to pull off being sympathetic and funny at the same time, which is quite a trick to do if you think about it. One other noteworthy acting "trick" that caught my attention is when Mary tells Lou he should join in Murray and Ted's conversation so he doesn't look suspicious. They're joking about you-know-what, so Lou pretends to find it amusing and laughs along with them. But you can see that his laughter isn't real; Lou is clearly nervous uncomfortable and he's trying to take a laugh. So the trick here is Ed Asner pretending to be Lou pretending to laugh. We're used to seeing Lou's "real" laugh; in this scene we see his "fake" laugh. The irony, of course, is that neither the real laugh or the fake laugh are real. Ed Asner's great acting is the reason we are so easily able to distinguish the two.

It is fitting that this episode gets its own thread; it WAS one of the best of the series!

The first thing I'd note is that, while I realize "Chuckles" now seems to be universally regarded as THE best The Mary Tyler Moore Show episode, and I thought it was fantastic, I personally believe there are others that were at least as good, and "Once I had ... " certainly was one of them.

About the actual ep, I remember being absolutely transfixed at the building emotion in the scenes, and getting a progressively more painful feeling in the pit of my stomach as a) Mary gave up the secret; b) Murray gave up the secret; c) Lou told Mary they were no longer friends.

It was indeed because we knew the characters so well, and that this was a real crisis in a group that had been SO friendly, that this ep was so powerful, and Gavin, Ed, and especially Mary all were tremendous.

Now even as a 16-year-old boy, I knew enough about sitcoms that I didn't think Mary and Lou were going to end up hating each other...but the acting was so good that I was saying to myself, "Holy [expletive], is this really happening?!?!"...and it certainly seemed until the last second that they MIGHT NOT patch things up. It was as if this was happening to people I knew and liked, and I wanted to step in and say, "Hey, wait a minute, we can work this out," but that obviously was impossible.

THEN came the complete and utter relief at the end when they patched it up - I think I was feeling exactly like Mary at that point - and the best part was you knew neither one was going to hold a grudge and things were going to go back to normal at WJM.

Outstanding acting, brilliant writing, top-notch episode overall...standard fare at TMTMS as far as I'm concerned!

P.S. I know I always cite the excellent acting in TMTMS, but it's amazing how many times I end up saying "especially Mary". She indeed let the other cast members shine, but she was the best as far as I'm concerned!