This is a controversial and intimidating topic which several SitcomsOnline members would EVER approve of.

This thread is about May-December marriages, or, in this definition, marriages with an 18+-year age disparity. Why do people even get into a May-December romance/marriage? First, they want to have more children than they do now. I don't think having a child after the age of 50 is a good idea. If one person with adult children wants to have another child,especially with a spouse that is about the same age as the adult children, he might want to reconsider that idea because he would make the adult children feel insecure. Other reasons include:

Reasons for seeking a much younger or older individual with whom to relate intimately can vary wildly. A common perception is that younger mates serve the purpose of a "trophy" or object of status, while older mates are perceived to have greater resources, wisdom, and/or sexual knowledge.

Culture may also play a part. Cultures requiring a bride price or dowry may increase the age of the potential groom relative to his wife. Cultures and countries requiring compulsory service of one sex but not the other – military, religious, etc. – may additionally increase the difference in ages. Some religious requirements with prescriptive rules about marrying widows may produce female-older-than-male marriages.

Societies where divorce is allowed may have increased age disparity between partners as a reassortment of partners occurs following divorces. Access to support from previous marriage(s) in the form of alimony or other legal supports can allow women in cultures to select mates based on non-economic or parental support requirements promoting an older woman-younger man motif.
(From Wikipedia.)

The biggest age disparity between a May-December couple is a 105-years-old man and a 23-years-old-woman. Disparity: 83 years (I always thought it was 89-years-old James Howard Marshall II and 26-years-old Vickie Lynn Marshall). Here is a webpage listing marriages with age disparity:http://sites.google.com/site/richardarthurnorton/agedisparityinrelationships

The May December scale:
0-18 years: Good
18-23 years: Moderate
23-30 years: Bad
30 years or over: Completely intolerable
The higher the age disparity, the more intolerable the marriage gets.

As long as both individuals are of age, mature, and love each other - I'm all for it. Like, a 30-year-old w/ a 50-year-old wouldn't bother me, or a 40/60, and so on.

^^I meant age disparities that are far above that line, like, 30+, 40+. I forgot to add a plus sign after 18-to-23, can I call an administrator and have him lock this thread so I can start over?

While I am typically not attracted to men much older than me, I have no problem with others having this sort of relationship. My sister is 29 and her husband is 50. They have a strong marriage, but even if they didn't it really isn't my business.

I see in your signature that you think May-December marriages should be illegal. What is your reasoning for this other than the fact that you personally don't agree with it? I'm just curious.

Yea if I see a 103 year old with a 23 year old I might say...wow. But even that, as long as they are both of age, it's none of my business and it shouldn't be illegal..

^^Okay, there is a flaw with the poll question: It says: Are you in favour of relationships or marriages with an 18-to-23 year age disparity? The poll is supposed to say Are you in favour of relationships or marriages with an 18-to-23 year or much higher age disparity? I'm talking about age disparities beyond 23 years. Either the poll question gets edited, or this thread can be closed or deleted and moved to the archives and I can start all over again.

I say.. "Whatever".. let it be; who am I to say what people do (as long as everyone consents legally and is of age).


I speak as someone who is generally attracted to older people. My couple of serious relationships were older than I.

My last one I was 22 and she was 36. We're not together anymore.

^^Okay, there is a flaw with the poll question: It says: Are you in favour of relationships or marriages with an 18-to-23 year age disparity? The poll is supposed to say Are you in favour of relationships or marriages with an 18-to-23 year or much higher age disparity? I'm talking about age disparities beyond 23 years. Either the poll question gets edited, or this thread can be closed or deleted and moved to the archives and I can start all over again.
Even with that, I'm in favor of it. They aren't hurting anybody and as long as they love each other, I wish them the best.

^^You know that Clint Eastwood and Dina Ruiz have a 35-year age disparity, right? They even had one child together and Dina Ruiz is a year younger than Clint's oldest daughter.

This thread should have been exclusively for the bad/intolerable marriages and all I have seen so far is moderate.

As long as both individuals are of age, mature, and love each other - I'm all for it. Like, a 30-year-old w/ a 50-year-old wouldn't bother me, or a 40/60, and so on.

I'm with you, Monika. You can't put a limit of the ages of the people in a relationship. Certainly a great age disparity brings with it unique challenges, but so does EVERY relationship, really. Who are any of us to judge?

^^You know that Clint eastwood and Dina Ruiz have a 35-year age disparity, right? They even had one child together and Dina Ruiz is a year younger than Clint's oldest daughter.
Yes I do know and it doesn't make me like Clint any less. He loves his children. I don't doubt that at all. He seems very happy with Dina too. I hope they have a happy life together.

I'm with you, Monika. You can't put a limit of the ages of the people in a relationship. Certainly a great age disparity brings with it unique challenges, but so does EVERY relationship, really. Who are any of us to judge?
Exactly. I'm not saying there aren't challenges. Of course it's probably easier if you marry someone closer to your own age. You have a lot in common. You come from the same generation. But if you love someone, then people can overcome it. I'm not condemning people for falling in love.

This thread should have been exclusively for the bad/intolerable marriages and all I have seen so far is moderate.

There are bad marriages where both parties are the same age.

While I would question why someone would want to marry someone 50 years older than them, it is really none of my business. I didn't vote in your poll because I am not for or against May-December romances. I think individuals have the right to decide for themselves who they love and want to marry.

^^I meant moderate/bad/intolerable age disparities. You say that it was none of your business, that is giving me a headache (not a legitimate one).

^^I meant moderate/bad/intolerable age disparities. You say that it was none of your business, that is giving me a headache (not a legitimate one).
Well you are determining what constitutes moderate/bad/intolerable when it comes to age disparencies. Maybe someone else thinks 50 years is moderate? I personally don't think any age difference is intolerable as long as both parties are of age and of sound mind. They can make their own decisions. Sorry I am giving you a headache.

I'm actually getting hits with Senior Citizens...should I start dating one?:confused:

^^Only if it doesn't lead to marriage. Besides, you're 28.

^With the way things are going...I'll be dating a girl when Cleveland wins a Championship. ohno:

Honestly, as someone who is attracted to much older men (I'm in my mid-twenties, and I've been attracted to guys in their forties & fifties), I'm all for it. Who's to say it can't work, and who's to say couples with huge age disparities can't love one another? I've heard the outcriers claim the girl must be gold-digging, or the older guy just wants to feel like a young stud again. Yes, this very well could be the case in some marriages, but not all. I say more power to 'em as long as it's consentual.

^ I'm with you. I've been attracted to older men all my life - most of them have been about 10-15 years older than me, and I currently have a crush on a guy who is 52 who has a daughter a year older than me, who has twin babies of her own. :crazy: :lol: But the point is, even though there is a 21-year age difference between us (and unfortunately, he has a lady friend at this time) - he is a sweet, warm, charismatic, funny, friendly, crazy (in a good way), wonderful man who shares my beliefs, morals and love of music. Yes, he is also still rather handsome physically, but to me his huge heart is what really captivates me. I can talk to him about almost anything and he is just plain fun to be around. THAT'S the important thing. I am honored to be his friend.

Here's another celeb pairing that is still going strong after 17+ years of marriage and a 23-year age difference: Alley Mills (The Wonder Years, Bold & the Beautiful) and Orson Bean (Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman). Here they are below:

I agree with those who are saying that it's nobody's business but their own. My husband is 18 years older than me. I was born the year he graduated high school, lol. I tell him that it was a big year for both of us, lol. It's never been a problem for us as I know a lot about "his days" such as older movies and music. He's always been amazed at how much I know about older actors, actresses and movies as well as big stories of his days.

The only downside for us is that the older we get, the reality of our age gap sets in. I know I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but if we live out our days and die naturally, I'm going to spend my final years alone. If he lives until 85 (and that's pushing it), that puts me at 67. And we'd be together for over 40 years. Also, he has grown kids. When I met them, they were teens; not much younger than myself. Nice people, but I would have preferred not having stepchildren, as it has its challenges. That's another thread. Still, I'd do it all again as I'm in a very good marriage. In the end, I may pay a hefty emotional pricel; but I knew that going in.

http://www.nzlifeandleisure.co.nz/files/Image/Issue%204/Features/Murdoch_family.jpg

This is News Corporation CEO Rupert Murdoch and his baby wife, Wendi Deng, who is 37 years younger than him, and their two children, Grace and Chloe. Murdoch already has four adult children from previous marriages, the oldest is 10 years older than Wendi.

Red on the May-december scale

This is a controversial and intimidating topic which several SitcomsOnline members would EVER approve of.

This thread is about May-December marriages, or, in this definition, marriages with an 18+-year age disparity. Why do people even get into a May-December romance/marriage? First, they want to have more children than they do now. I don't think having a child after the age of 50 is a good idea. If one person with adult children wants to have another child,especially with a spouse that is about the same age as the adult children, he might want to reconsider that idea because he would make the adult children feel insecure. Other reasons include:



The biggest age disparity between a May-December couple is a 105-years-old man and a 23-years-old-woman. Disparity: 83 years (I always thought it was 89-years-old James Howard Marshall II and 26-years-old Vickie Lynn Marshall). Here is a webpage listing marriages with age disparity:http://sites.google.com/site/richardarthurnorton/agedisparityinrelationships

The May December scale:
0-18: Good
18-23: Moderate
23-30: Bad
30-+: Completely intolerable
The higher the age disparity, the more intolerable the marriage gets.
your faulty reasoning and misguided sense of morality is completely intolerable. - 35 points.

by your logic ALL marriages should be made illegal just because some of them are bad.

^^The May-December scale is in ages, not points. And the quote-unquote faulty reasoning and misguided sense of morality is NOT a marriage. I'm starting to dislike this thread.

I'm actually getting hits with Senior Citizens...should I start dating one?:confused:
Paul, would you ever consider dating Betty White? She's single. ;)

To the original poster:

* Do the two people in the relationship really and truly love each other?
* Can they handle the challenges and burdens that the age disparity may bring to the relationship? (Adult children, one spouse outliving the other by a potentially substantial margin, etc)
* Can they meet the tasks and challenges common in any marriage given that the generational gap?
* Do the two people in the relationship really and truly love each other? (It's the most important thing, best to ask it twice).

If the answers are yes, then there's really nothing further to discuss. We, as caring and compassionate beings, long for the companionship of others. And if that companionship happens to be with someone younger/older, then that's just the way it is.

I'm not certain if there's some event going on in your real life that's prompted this reaction and distaste for age disparities in romance, or if it's an attitude you've come to be raised with, or if it's just an opinion you've developed out of the ether, but if so I urge you to reflect on the fact that sometimes things happen in life which may not have fit our ideal vision of the way things should be, but if it's an environment of honest and sincere love, at the end that caring and compassion is what matters, not the ages of the people exuding that love.

To the original poster:

* Do the two people in the relationship really and truly love each other?
* Can they handle the challenges and burdens that the age disparity may bring to the relationship? (Adult children, one spouse outliving the other by a potentially substantial margin, etc)
* Can they meet the tasks and challenges common in any marriage given that the generational gap?
* Do the two people in the relationship really and truly love each other? (It's the most important thing, best to ask it twice).

If the answers are yes, then there's really nothing further to discuss. We, as caring and compassionate beings, long for the companionship of others. And if that companionship happens to be with someone younger/older, then that's just the way it is.

I'm not certain if there's some event going on in your real life that's prompted this reaction and distaste for age disparities in romance, or if it's an attitude you've come to be raised with, or if it's just an opinion you've developed out of the ether, but if so I urge you to reflect on the fact that sometimes things happen in life which may not have fit our ideal vision of the way things should be, but if it's an environment of honest and sincere love, at the end that caring and compassion is what matters, not the ages of the people exuding that love.

VERY well said. :clap:

I noticed the link you posted did mention Tony Randall. He's actually the reason I support this. Tony was married for decades to Flo, and they truly loved each other. She died and he figured he never would have children. Another woman came into his life years later and gave him two - it's a sweet story, and he was happy with his second wife for almost ten years. God bless them, I hope I can find that kind of happiness someday, no matter what the age difference.

I noticed the link you posted did mention Tony Randall. He's actually the reason I support this. Tony was married for decades to Flo, and they truly loved each other. She died and he figured he never would have children. Another woman came into his life years later and gave him two - it's a sweet story, and he was happy with his second wife for almost ten years. God bless them, I hope I can find that kind of happiness someday, no matter what the age difference.
Exactly!!! :nod:

^^The May-December scale is in ages, not points. And the quote-unquote faulty reasoning and misguided sense of morality is NOT a marriage. I'm starting to dislike this thread.

You're disliking it because a lot of us disagree with you.

http://www.nzlifeandleisure.co.nz/files/Image/Issue%204/Features/Murdoch_family.jpg

This is News Corporation CEO Rupert Murdoch and his baby wife, Wendi Deng, who is 37 years younger than him, and their two children, Grace and Chloe. Murdoch already has four adult children from previous marriages, the oldest is 10 years older than Wendi.

Red on the May-december scale

They look happy to me.

You're disliking it because a lot of us disagree with you.
That, and besides - maybe you're mad that these people are happy...despite their age differences.

I agree with those who are saying that it's nobody's business but their own. My husband is 18 years older than me. I was born the year he graduated high school, lol. I tell him that it was a big year for both of us, lol. It's never been a problem for us as I know a lot about "his days" such as older movies and music. He's always been amazed at how much I know about older actors, actresses and movies as well as big stories of his days.

The only downside for us is that the older we get, the reality of our age gap sets in. I know I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but if we live out our days and die naturally, I'm going to spend my final years alone. If he lives until 85 (and that's pushing it), that puts me at 67. And we'd be together for over 40 years. Also, he has grown kids. When I met them, they were teens; not much younger than myself. Nice people, but I would have preferred not having stepchildren, as it has its challenges. That's another thread. Still, I'd do it all again as I'm in a very good marriage. In the end, I may pay a hefty emotional pricel; but I knew that going in.

Bravo, Janice! I salute you and your hubby, and I hope you have many more happy decades together. :wave:

That, and besides - maybe you're mad that these people are happy...despite their age differences.

Very true.

Another happy marriage with an age discrepency:

Charlie Chaplin & Oona O'Neill
Oona was 36 years younger than him, but their marriage was undeniably happy and produced eight children, the eldest is actress Geraldine Chaplin. They were married until the day Charlie died.

160344

I thought of another one. There was a man in Austria who was 47 years old and had several children. He married a 22-year-old governess. Their names were Georg and Maria Von Trapp.

http://andrerieufans.com/news_archive/news08/vonTrapp/Maria_Georg.jpg


http://nibsblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/opt-the-captain-and-maria-s.jpg

You're disliking it because a lot of us disagree with you.

Incorrect. I'm disliking it because this thread is flawed. I should go ahead creating another thread exclusively focusing on marriages with 23+-year age discrepancies and then have this thread closed.

Also, I am mad because of the age difference. Probably doing this to disrepect this forum's elders here.

Incorrect. I'm disliking it because this thread is flawed. I should go ahead creating another thread exclusively focusing on marriages with 23+-year age discrepancies and then have this thread closed.

Also, I am mad because of the age difference. Probably doing this to disrepect this forum's elders here.
The thread is not flawed. Everyone got what you are trying to say. Nobody agrees with you. It just doesn't matter what the age diference is as long as the 2 people love each other. I don't understand why it should bother you anyway.

I don't know what you mean by that last part though.

Very true.

Another happy marriage with an age discrepency:

Charlie Chaplin & Oona O'Neill
Oona was 36 years younger than him, but their marriage was undeniably happy and produced eight children, the eldest is actress Geraldine Chaplin. They were married until the day Charlie died.

160344
Yup, they were married for 34 1/2 years. The relationship caused her father (playwright Eugene O'Neill, who was only 6 month older than Charlie) to disown Oona. Despite her attempts at reconciliation - her father never forgave her. Still, the fact that the Chaplins named one of their sons Eugene speaks volumes - at least to me.

Yes, this thread is flawed, becuase I originally meant to focus on 23-year age discrepancies exclusively, but then I slipped up and went for 18. I want to start all over again. May-December marriage just bothers me, though I can't verify a reason. You are unable to be nice to me anymore because of it. That's showing disrespect for your elders, and I am an old man.

I started this thread, and now I want to have it closed. I will start a new thread which will feature a list this time. But before that, I will say one thing: I hate marriages with an age disparity of 23 years or more. I am actually an activist against those kind of relationships. It should be prohibited. Anything less than 23 years is fine, anything over that can have an irreversible effect on both spouses families.

I'm gonna short-circuit now.

Incorrect. I'm disliking it because this thread is flawed. I should go ahead creating another thread exclusively focusing on marriages with 23+-year age discrepancies and then have this thread closed.

You honestly think you'd get different answers if the topic said 23+ instead of 18+???? Have you read anything we posted? Most of us seem to feel that love is love, no matter the age.

You seemed to be of the opinion that any marriages with a significant age gap are gold-digger/trophy wives and sugar daddies. We pointed out that that's not always the case and you got mad. Why not try and see the other point of view?

Yup, they were married for 34 1/2 years. The relationship caused her father (playwright Eugene O'Neill, who was only 6 month older than Charlie) to disown Oona. Despite her attempts at reconciliation - her father never forgave her. Still, the fact that the Chaplins named one of their sons Eugene speaks volumes - at least to me.

I never knew her father disowned her! Wow, that must have been heart-breaking. Good for them for naming their son Eugene. That shows class. I did know that Geraldine named her daughter Oona after her mother, I thought that was touching.

So, if the OP had his way, Geraldine Chaplin, her 7 brothers & sisters, not to mention half the Von Trapp family, never would have been born.

I started this thread, and now I want to have it closed. I will start a new thread which will feature a list this time. But before that, I will say one thing: I hate marriages with an age disparity of 23 years or more. I am actually an activist against those kind of relationships. It should be prohibited. Anything less than 23 years is fine, anything over that can have an irreversible effect on both spouses families.

Okay, so now 22 years is okay, 23 years is not. Thanks for clearing that up :crazy:

Yes, this thread is flawed, becuase I originally meant to focus on 23-year age discrepancies exclusively, but then I slipped up and went for 18. I want to start all over again. May-December marriage just bothers me, though I can't verify a reason. You are unable to be nice to me anymore because of it. That's showing disrespect for your elders, and I am an old man.

I started this thread, and now I want to have it closed. I will start a new thread which will feature a list this time. But before that, I will say one thing: I hate marriages with an age disparity of 23 years or more. I am actually an activist against those kind of relationships. It should be prohibited. Anything less than 23 years is fine, anything over that can have an irreversible effect on both spouses families.

I'm gonna short-circuit now.
I have not been disrespectful to you. I just don't agree with you. That's all. I mean, I don't really care if you don't like marriages where one person is 23 years or more than the other. That's your right...just like it's mine and everybody elses to disagree with you. I wish you could understand that not everyone is going to think like you.

No new similiar thread. TJ and I both told you that. Sonny's right, not everyone is going to agree with you.

You honestly think you'd get different answers if the topic said 23+ instead of 18+???? Have you read anything we posted? Most of us seem to feel that love is love, no matter the age.

You seemed to be of the opinion that any marriages with a significant age gap are gold-digger/trophy wives and sugar daddies. We pointed out that that's not always the case and you got mad. Why not try and see the other point of view?

Please, don't tell me what I "seem" to do, please! I hate that word and it gives me a headache. Age discrepancies over 23 years are wrong outright and in my family, I forbade it... Why can't they just go ahead an outlaw the age gap? 23 is the age of full maturity in a person and...I can't think of anything else! (starts weeping for a few minutes--nervous breakdown) I am so totally weak right now...I feel like eating cake...

My father once told me I can marry anyone I want - black, white, or purple; older than my father, grandfather, or great-grandfather; Christian, Muslim, or Nordic Gods - he doesn't care, as long as I love him and he loves me.

Please, don't tell me what I "seem" to do, please! I hate that word and it gives me a headache. Age discrepancies over 23 years are wrong outright and in my family, I forbade it... Why can't they just go ahead an outlaw the age gap? 23 is the age of full maturity in a person and...I can't think of anything else! (starts weeping for a few minutes--nervous breakdown) I am so totally weak right now...

Okay, I withdraw the word "seem" and won't try to speculate at your viewpoints since it gives you a headache.

But in answer to your question - they won't outlaw a 23 year age gap because it's nonsense. There have been several happy marriages with a larger age gap, and some miserable marriages with no gap at all. (Shall I give examples, or will you just agree with me on this?)

I don't know where you got this 23-years-is-maturity idea. 23 isn't a magic number. It's right for some people and not for others. I'm sorry that you find the fact that there have been happy marriages with larger discrepencies in age offensive... but those are your issues. They don't seem to be anyone else's.

Plus - not every marriage with a large age difference ends up like Paul McCartney and Heather Mills. As long as their love for each other is genuine and both are of age - that's all that matters to me.

You are unable to be nice to me anymore because of it. That's showing disrespect for your elders, and I am an old man.
This is going to be wordy, and I apologize, but:

You asked the opinions of people here. People told you their opinions. You're displeased because the response has been overwhelmingly not what you'd hoped for. While I do think a few people's responses to you could have been worded a bit more charitably, the fact is no one here's violated any site rules for conduct, and substantively everyone seems to be in unison in saying that this really, really isn't a big deal.

Also: This is the internet. The internet more than anything in human history has done wonders at tearing down the barriers that influence how we react to communication with one another. Online, you get an equal pulpit to express your opinions - and your opponent has the equal right to challenge those opinions. No free passes due to demographics.

I started this thread, and now I want to have it closed. I will start a new thread which will feature a list this time.

At various points, both Janice and myself have discussed this thread with TJ, the site's owner. Until he says something that supersedes what was discussed prior: Any further threads you start on this subject will either be deleted or merged back into this one. You want to discuss the matter? Fine. But it's going to be done here. Starting a new thread for the sake of clarification isn't going to accomplish anything anyway - the consensus amongst everyone here is that whether you're talking about an age range of 5, 10, 15, 20, 23, 25, 30 years...it doesn't matter. If the two people love each other and there are no other constraints or issues involved, then that's that..

But before that, I will say one thing: I hate marriages with an age disparity of 23 years or more. I am actually an activist against those kind of relationships. It should be prohibited. Anything less than 23 years is fine, anything over that can have an irreversible effect on both spouses families.

That's your opinion, and as this site is located in a free country, you're more than entitled to it. And everyone here is also entitled to disagree with it.

Please, don't tell me what I "seem" to do, please! I hate that word and it gives me a headache.
Forum members do have the right to recap their understanding of your expressed opinion.

Age discrepancies over 23 years are wrong outright
Your opinion. You are entitled to it, and others are entitled to argue the validity of it.

Why can't they just go ahead an outlaw the age gap?
Because we live in a society where law is based on the best interests of the community at large. Are there laws I disagree with? Absolutely. But at the end of the day I accept that people with views other than my own get their way.

(starts weeping for a few minutes--nervous breakdown) I am so totally weak right now...I feel like eating cake...
The peril of having an opinion is that people *are* going to disagree with you. Sometimes a *lot* of people are going to disagree with you. If you want to debate, then you have to be prepared for disagreement. If you're just polling to see if people agree with you, well, that's likely never going to end well as there's *always* going to be people who disagree with you. I could say "the sun is yellow" and guarantee I could find someone who disagrees.

Okay, I withdraw the word "seem" and won't try to speculate at your viewpoints since it gives you a headache.

But in answer to your question - they won't outlaw a 23 year age gap because it's nonsense. There have been several happy marriages with a larger age gap, and some miserable marriages with no gap at all. (Shall I give examples, or will you just agree with me on this?)

I don't know where you got this 23-years-is-maturity idea. 23 isn't a magic number. It's right for some people and not for others. I'm sorry that you find the fact that there have been happy marriages with larger discrepencies in age offensive... but those are your issues. They don't seem to be anyone else's.

(still having a nervous breakdown) I meant outlaw a marriage which there is a disparity exceeding 23 years. A fan of someone involved in those relationshps can make him (the fan) dislike that someone.

I am still crying over this, and nothing will make me feel better... The community can no longer respect me anymore, they just dislike me, and I feel like I am close to quitting the S.O. Forums, but I don't want to quit. You be lucky I have Michael Jackson as my avatar. The more I fight against marriages with huge age gaps, the more that other people are going to be mean to me and hate me. Please be more nice to me and just make me feel better before I explode. (tears starting to get heavier)

One question: Did Adolf Hitler have people disagreeing with him?

(still having a nervous breakdown) I meant outlaw a marriage which there is a disparity exceeding 23 years. A fan of someone involved in those relationshps can make him (the fan) dislike that someone.

I am still crying over this, and nothing will make me feel better... The community can no longer respect me anymore, they just dislike me, and I feel like I am close to quitting the S.O. Forums, but I don't want to quit. You be lucky I have Michael Jackson as my avatar. I am in trouble now.
See I don't understand why that matters. They aren't breaking the law. I don't agree with eveything that an actor I like does but I try to seperate their private life from their professional one. If I let everything that they did bother me, I'd miss out on a lot of good entertainment.

And it's not that serious. It sure isn't worth having a nervous breakdown over.

(still having a nervous breakdown) I meant outlaw a marriage which there is a disparity exceeding 23 years. A fan of someone involved in those relationshps can make him (the fan) dislike that someone.

I am still crying over this, and nothing will make me feel better... The community can no longer respect me anymore, they just dislike me, and I feel like I am close to quitting the S.O. Forums, but I don't want to quit. You be lucky I have Michael Jackson as my avatar. The more I fight against marriages with huge age gaps, the more that other people are going to be mean to me and hate me. Please be more nice to me and just make me feel better before I explode. (tears starting to get heavier)

One question: Did Adolf Hitler have people disagreeing with him?

What in the world are you talking about? I didn't see one person here that was disrespectful and disliked you. We were disagreeing with you. There's a big difference there. And 'being nice' does not mean we have to agree with you all the time.

This is going to be wordy, and I apologize, but:

You asked the opinions of people here. People told you their opinions. You're displeased because the response has been overwhelmingly not what you'd hoped for. While I do think a few people's responses to you could have been worded a bit more charitably, the fact is no one here's violated any site rules for conduct, and substantively everyone seems to be in unison in saying that this really, really isn't a big deal.

Also: This is the internet. The internet more than anything in human history has done at tearing down the barriers that influence how we react to communication with one another. Online, you get an equal pulpit to express your opinions - and your opponent has the equal right to challenge those opinions. No free passes due to demographics.

At various points, both Janice and myself have discussed this thread with TJ, the site's owner. Until he says something that supersedes what was discussed prior: Any further threads you start on this subject will either be deleted or merged back into this one. You want to discuss the matter? Fine. But it's going to be done here. Starting a new thread for the sake of clarification isn't going to accomplish anything anyway - the consensus amongst everyone here is that whether you're talking about an age range of 5, 10, 15, 20, 23, 25, 30 years...it doesn't matter. If the two people love each other and there are no other constraints or issues involved, then that's that..

That's your opinion, and as this site is located in a free country, you're more than entitled to it. And everyone here is also entitled to disagree with it.

Forum members do have the right to recap their understanding of your expressed opinion.

Your opinion. You are entitled to it, and others are entitled to argue the validity of it.

Because we live in a society where law is based on the best interests of the community at large. Are there laws I disagree with? Absolutely. But at the end of the day I accept that people with views other than my own get their way.


The peril of having an opinion is that people *are* going to disagree with you. Sometimes a *lot* of people are going to disagree with you. If you want to debate, then you have to be prepared for disagreement. If you're just polling to see if people agree with you, well, that's likely never going to end well as there's *always* going to be people who disagree with you. I could say "the sun is yellow" and guarantee I could find someone who disagrees.

:yeahthat

Seth, you're wonderful :)

The only thing I need right now after this nervous breakdown is my own wife, who is two years younger than me, since you couldn't make me feel better. Now the may-december issue has put me in danger of getting banned and that is death. I wasn't even attempting to break the posting rules, but I did go unstable. I don't want to be treated like a kid for doing my job and be deterred from trying to create a freindly environment here.

This really, really isn't a big deal.

That makes me think about taking a bite out of something.

I meant outlaw a marriage which there is a disparity exceeding 23 years. A fan of someone involved in those relationshps can make him (the fan) dislike that someone.

Where are you drawing the line then? A couple with a 22 year and 11 month age difference can get married, but a couple with a 23 year and 1 month difference can not?

The only thing I need right now after this nervous breakdown is my own wife, who is two years younger than me, since you couldn't make me feel better. Now the may-december issue puts me in danger of getting banned and that is death. I wasn't trying to break the posting rules, but I did go unstable. I don't want to be treated lke a kid for doing my job.

Come on, you weren't doing your job, you were simply posting an opinion and others disagreed with it. And by the way, is it really so much better to have a wife 2 years your junior than 23 years your junior? Isn't the main point that she loves you and you love her?

Every user here has a job. And any marriage with an age disparity 24 years and above should not be allowed.

Any age disparity 24 years and above should not be allowed.

I see a pattern developing here.

I'm ok with age differences as long as both parties over the age of 18.

I voted 'no', but I'm only speaking for myself, and I don't care what other people choose to do in this situation...

:yeahthat

Seth, you're wonderful :)
I concur!! :D

I voted 'no', but I'm only speaking for myself, and I don't care what other people choose to do in this situation...
I really like the way you phrased that - that was perfect. :nod:

Bravo, Janice! I salute you and your hubby, and I hope you have many more happy decades together. :wave:
Thank you for the kind words, Liza. I really appreciate it. I'd settle for another 25 more years. We celebrate our 25th anniversary next month. Wow, time just flies by. Appreciate your youth. You only have it once. :)

Thank you for the kind words, Liza. I really appreciate it. I'd settle for another 25 more years. We celebrate our 25th anniversary next month. Wow, time just flies by. Appreciate your youth. You only have it once. :)
Happy almost 25th, Janice & Lou!! :love: :bighug:

Well, I disagree with you completely. I'm in love with a man who's 41 years older than me. He's 64 and I'm 23. Love is love, regardless. You have a problem with that? Well frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. ;) Your opinion means absolutely nothing to me.

Well, I disagree with you completely. I'm in love with a man who's 41 years older than me. He's 64 and I'm 23. Love is love, regardless. You have a problem with that? Well frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. ;) Your opinion means absolutely nothing to me.
Not to mention there's a 54-year age difference between you and a certain fellow with the initials W.R. ;)

^^Okay, there is a flaw with the poll question: It says: Are you in favour of relationships or marriages with an 18-to-23 year age disparity? The poll is supposed to say Are you in favour of relationships or marriages with an 18-to-23 year or much higher age disparity? I'm talking about age disparities beyond 23 years. Either the poll question gets edited, or this thread can be closed or deleted and moved to the archives and I can start all over again.

Jim, you are ranting and raving again. Calm down and relax.

^^I meant moderate/bad/intolerable age disparities. You say that it was none of your business, that is giving me a headache (not a legitimate one).

Maybe you are giving yourself a headache by ranting and raving like you do-
just because you are insecure about your old age doesn't mean you should
try to make the rest of us feel the way you do.

^^The May-December scale is in ages, not points. And the quote-unquote faulty reasoning and misguided sense of morality is NOT a marriage. I'm starting to dislike this thread.

Then maybe you should not have made it

Not to mention there's a 54-year age difference between you and a certain fellow with the initials W.R. ;)


Very true ;)

Happy almost 25th, Janice & Lou!! :love: :bighug:
Thanks Monika. He's the best deciision I ever made. :)

Thanks Monika. He's the best deciision I ever made. :)
Someday I hope to find a wonderful man and share a love with him like you share with Lou. What's your secret? :love:

Very true ;)
Plus the age difference between me and a certain gentleman by the initials of G.S. Most places I've seen his birth year as 1941 and I've seen it in a few other places as 1937. So what - I don't care. :D

Thanks Monika. He's the best deciision I ever made. :)

I agree with Monika, I hope someday I can have a relationship like you have with Lou :love:

I agree with Monika, I hope someday I can have a relationship like you have with Lou :love:
We'll just have to keep praying!! :nod:

Very true.

Another happy marriage with an age discrepency:

Charlie Chaplin & Oona O'Neill
Oona was 36 years younger than him, but their marriage was undeniably happy and produced eight children, the eldest is actress Geraldine Chaplin. They were married until the day Charlie died.

160344
The Octochaplin?

The Octochaplin?
:rofl: I love it!!!!

The Octochaplin?

LOL...Octocommie is more like it.

Thank you for the kind words, Liza. I really appreciate it. I'd settle for another 25 more years. We celebrate our 25th anniversary next month. Wow, time just flies by. Appreciate your youth. You only have it once. :)

You are more than welcome, Janice. I am still waiting for "Mr. Right" but thanks to people like you I do have hope in one day finding him. :)

You are more than welcome, Janice. I am still waiting for "Mr. Right" but thanks to people like you I do have hope in one day finding him. :)
Ditto here. :nod:

Every user here has a job. And any marriage with an age disparity 24 years and above should not be allowed.

Okay Jim - I have to ask:

You believe that a couple that has a difference of 23-years-and 11 months and 29 days should be allowed to marry. A couple with a difference of 24 years and 1 day should not.

Do you not see the fault in your reasoning? Or is your next post going to be about a 25 year age difference?

Okay Jim - I have to ask:

You believe that a couple that has a difference of 23-years-and 11 months and 29 days should be allowed to marry. A couple with a difference of 24 years and 1 day should not.

Do you not see the fault in your reasoning? Or is your next post going to be about a 25 year age difference?

Jim is just like Solomon or Isaiah. His opinion is the only opinion that matters
and everyone has to think like him or not think at all and all he does is complain
about everything and anything. Nothing satisfies him.

Plus - not every marriage with a large age difference ends up like Paul McCartney and Heather Mills. As long as their love for each other is genuine and both are of age - that's all that matters to me.

<---- My new avatar says hello.

I have to bump up this topic because I've seen the signature around the site since I started browsing.

What in the heck is the problem to 25-30 year age differences in a relationship? Most of the men I am attracted to are anywhere from 35-65. I am 25 and I see no problem with this at all. If we were both in love, I would not personally have a problem with it. We're getting rid of gay discrimination, I think we should also do away with age discrimination. Some of us are freaks and enjoy the age difference. I would love to meet a sexy, attractive silver haired man as so many are taking such good care of themselves these days. :)

No offense, but who cares about the age discrepancy in someone else's marriage? As long as both parties are consenting adults (and, of course, as long as they're in love), they're not hurting anyone.

I, too, have seen the original poster's signature around the boards, and it seems like a silly thing to obsess over.

I have no problem with it as long as they are both of legal age. I am 25 and am usually attracted to men that are 10-20 years older than me.

NO I AM NOT AT ALL IN THE FAVOUR OF EARLY MARRIGES BECAUSE BETWEEN 18 TO 23 THIS IS THE TIME TO MAKE YOUR CARRER IF YOU HAVE RELATION SHIP IN THIS AGE THEN YOU CAN'T FOCUS ON YOUR FUTURE

No offense, but who cares about the age discrepancy in someone else's marriage? As long as both parties are consenting adults (and, of course, as long as they're in love), they're not hurting anyone.

I, too, have seen the original poster's signature around the boards, and it seems like a silly thing to obsess over.

He also obsesses over celebrities dying before their next birthday(ever since
Michael Jackson died before he turned 51). Jim is a very strange person.

Reasons why I was against marriages with a too-big age disparity: I had this belief that an entertainer with a long career (30+ years or so) gets married to a much younger person. If the younger person has not lived to see the beginning of the entertainer's career, or has not lived to see the entertainer doing his best-known works when they were originally produced, then the younger person shouldn't even be marrying the entertainer, or have any new children with the entertainer. Another reason is that a younger person may be the same age as the older persons' children or even grandchildren.

Reasons why I was against marriages with a too-big age disparity: I had this belief that an entertainer with a long career (30+ years or so) gets married to a much younger person. If the younger person has not lived to see the beginning of the entertainer's career, or has not lived to see the entertainer doing his best-known works when they were originally produced, then the younger person shouldn't even be marrying the entertainer, or have any new children with the entertainer. Another reason is that a younger person may be the same age as the older persons' children or even grandchildren.

OMG, is this a re-hash of your whole "Tony Randall shouldn't have married a much younger woman and had kids with her" rant?

If two people are in love and want to share a future together, they should be allowed to marry. It's not rocket science.

Well, how about the risk of having a stepparent who is younger than yourself?

what's the big deal? a step parent isn't always expected to assume the role of a full part anyways - especially for fully grown "children".

I know many people that have nieces and nephews that are older than them, and I have some cousins that are at least 30 years younger than I am, again what's the big deal.

I think that people that meddle into other people's bedrooms should be outlawed.

I think that people that meddle into other people's bedrooms should be outlawed.

yeahthat: clap:

That step-parent thing? It would be a "family generation clash".

That step-parent thing? It would be a "family generation clash".

You are seriously importing drama to this situation. If I was in that situation, I would only care if my parent was in a happy relationship. Anything else is frosting once you become an adult.

I have no intent on intentionally pairing up with someone 20 years my senior (pretty sure my husband would have an opinion on the subject), but if I was single and I felt it was the right move, I wouldn't let the age difference, or step "children" my age, stop me.

Why did you bump this thread up? Didn't we cover all this a few years ago? I don't think anybody changed their mind on the subject. :confused:

30 years or over: Completely intolerable
Only if your mind cannot accept thier world... Anything can work,age is only a numba!!