Seinfeld Fan Fiction- Kramer spinoff [Archive] - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

tvshowsrock

03-13-2010, 08:09 PM

Episode Guide

Season 1
1.Pilot

2.Jerry Leaves and Kramer Heaves
Kramer can't take living with the inlaws so he moves out for a few
days but no one knows he is gone.

3.The Breakthrough
After Kramer moves into the hotel room with Jerry he finds out that
Jerry is hiding a secret from him.

4.Going Back to New York
Since Kramer found out Jerry's secret. Jerry goes back to
New York and Kramer has to face his fears of his new family.

5.Lifestyle Change
Kramer moves back in and he and his wife to be make some
changes that leave her grandparents in a nursing home.

6.Taking a Chance on Love (1)
Kramer and Kelly start planning a wedding and a car accident
puts a hold on the impending nuptuals.

7.Taking a Chance on Love (2)
Kelly is hospitialized after an accident and the bill for her
leg surgery put impending nuptuals further on hold.

8.Recovery
Kelly while recovering gets a job to pay for a fancy
wedding but a knock on the door changes everything

9.Kramer's Goes to Jail
Kramer winds up in jail after robbing a bank to
pay for Kelly's hospital bill and their wedded
bliss.

10.Blast From The Past
Elenor's daughter Hannah (Lisa Whelchel) comes
to visit and creates friction between Fran and Elenor.

Season 2
11.Wedding Day
The day of the wedding Hannah decides to set
fire to the nursing home.

Note: This is the last
episode with Charlotte
Rae and Betty White.

12. The Psych Ward
Kramer and Kelly are finally married but
have to put Hannah in a psychiatric hospital.

13. I Want My Family Man Back
Kelly is suspicious when Kramer starts acting stanger than usual
and does some spy work .

14. Therapy
Kramer is upset when he finds out about Kelly spying on him so he
makes an appointment with a therapist who happens to be Marissa,
Kelly's sister.

15. Once a Cheater Always a Cheater
Kramer realizes he is in love with Marissa and decides to cheat on
Kelly but Marissa doesn't share the same feelings

16.Divorce
After Marissa tells Kelly about Kramer's cheating, Kelly files for
divorce.

17. New York Here I Come
After 2 weeks of signing divorce papers Kramer moves back into
his old apartment and gets a job as a scientist.

18.Finale
Kramer and Jerry win the lottery and decide to move
to Florida where Jerry pursues his secret dream of becoming
a stunt double and an oscar winner.

tvshowsrock

03-13-2010, 08:12 PM

Theme Song

Kramer Kramer
Kramer Kramer
Cosmo Cosmo
Cosmo Cosmo
Cosmo Kramer Yeah Yeah
Cosmo Kramer Yeah Yeah
(Kramer walks outside of his new Beverly Hills apartment)
Just call me Kramer

(Kramer packing up his stuff from his old home)

Kramer: Damn, where is my cheese grater?
Jerry: Why do you need a cheese grater?
Kramer: Ican't take a bath without one.
Jerry: Why would you need a (stopping mid sentence)
Kramer: I'll find it when I get to Beverly Hills
Jerry: Speaking of Beverly Hills, who is this new woman you are getting married to?
Kramer: I met while I was apartment hunting there.
Jerry: You hardly even know her. Name one thing you like about her.
Kramer: What do you mean?
Jerry: You left a week ago and now you are saying you love some strange girl.
Kramer: Beats who I used to like.
Jerry: And who was that.
Kramer: The girl on the cover of Playboy.
Jerry: I had to ask.
Kramer: The hell with this packing lets get out of here.
Jerry: Kramer first of all why is the place still in your name if you are moving.
Kramer: Because you will look after if while I'm gone.
Jerry: What if I leave New York
Kramer: You won't
Jerry: What do you mean I won't
Kramer: You just won't
Jerry: What if I meet a beautiful girl and decide to leave this place.
Kramer: Come on Jerry you and a beautiful girl
Jerry: If it could happen to you if could happen to me
Kramer: No it couldn't because you bite you nails
Jerry: I what
Kramer You bite your nails
Jerry: I only did that once and in my case it was a hang nail
Kramer: You bite them often
Jerry: Lets just finish this up and call George so we can get you situated
Kramer: You bit them in high school
Jerry: Shut up

Commercial Break

(George outside beeping)

Jerry: George is here lets go
Kramer: What about my things they aren't near being packed
George: (Honking) Lets get a move on mom wants this car home by midnight
Jerry: We'll be right down
Kramer; You see I'm doing something with my life while George is still living with his parents
George: I heard that
Jerry; For the last time lets go
Kramer: Okay now will you get those 2 boxes over there
Jerry: Your move, your boxes
Kramer: Okay be like that
Jerry: I intend to

Door closes

Commercial break

(Entering George's car)

George: Hurry up because I'm not getting any younger
Jerry: But you sure are getting fatter
George: Ma says I'm not fat I'm just muscle
Jerry: Yeah, if muscles were made of fat
George: I didn't come all this way to be insulted
Jerry: Sorry but I'm not in the mood for another one of Kramer's ''brilliant ideas''
George: Me neither but it has to be nice seeing Kramer change
Jerry: From what an ass to a bigger ass
Kramer: (Getting in to the car) Aw you're just saying that because you love me
Jerry: Yeah if love were an Italian meal

Commercial Break

(All three in the car on the way to Beverly Hills)

George: Well Kramer it looks like congrats are in order
Kramer: Thanks
Jerry: It seems like the world is getting married now
George: It sure does
Kramer: Guess who just got married
George and Jerry: Who
Kramer: Elaine
George and Jerry: To who
Kramer: To this guy named Michael Bauer
George and Jerry: No way
Kramer: They got married and moved to Switzerland
Jerry: Now if Elaine can get married so can I
George: Nope
Jerry: Why not?
George: You're a nail biter
Kramer: I tried to tell him
Jerry: Now wait a minute
George: Why
Jerry: Elaine has more quirks than I do and she's married
George: I know it really doesn't quite fit
Jerry: Damn right it doesn't
George: Kramer how far more do we need to go?
Kramer: I sent you the directions on Facebook!
George: No you didn't!
Jerry: Kramer did you press sent?
Kramer: Damn, I knew I forgot something
George: You waisted my time for nothing!
Kramer: I know where to go
George: Where then?
Kramer: It is either a left or right once we get off the freeway
George: Let's face it
Kramer: Face what
George: We're lost
Jerry: I coulda told you that

Commercial Break

(Pulling into Kramer's new apartment)

George: We're finally here
Jerry: Thank God I remembered about the GPS in my pocket
George: Jerry
Jerry: What
George: You saved my life tonight
Jerry: I always save both of you
Kramer: It's true he does
Jerry: Let's get out of the car to unload the boxes
Kramer: Let's do that
Kelly: Kramer!
Kramer: Kelly!
George and Jerry: I had no idea she'd be so young
Kramer: Kelly
Kelly: What
Kramer: Why are you here?
Kelly: I couldn't wait until marriage to live with you
Kramer: What are you saying?
Kelly: While you were gone I decided to move in.
Kramer: That's a huge step since I just got here
Kelly: Don't be silly
Jerry: Too late for that
Kelly: What words must come to mind when you guys think of Kramer?
Jerry: Cougar
George: Deadbeat
Jerry: No that's you George
George: Jerry
Jerry: What
George: It's time to go back to New York
Jerry: No
George: What do you mean no?
Jerry: I'm going to stay for a couple days
George: What about Kramer's apartment?
Jerry: Stay at my place and watch it while I'm gone
George: Okay
Jerry: What do you mean okay?
George: Anything beats going back to my parents' house
Jerry: Goodbye
George: Bye
Kelly: Kramer before you go inside there are a few people I want you to meet?
Kramer: Who
Kelly: My family
Kramer: Your what
Kelly: My family
Kramer: I knew you were up to something

Commercial Break

Kelly: Let's go in
Jerry: Let's do that
Kramer: (Opens the door)
Uncle Don: Hello there sonny
Kramer: Sonny?
Uncle Don: How much dough do you make in a year?
Jerry: Personal questions already
Uncle Don: I just want you to invest it wisely
Kramer: Who are you?
Uncle Don: I'm the rich person everybody want dead so they can take my loot
Kramer: I have no interest in your loot
Uncle Don: We'll see about that
Jerry: We sure will
Kelly: I want you to meet my mother and father
Jake: Hello there
Kramer: This must be your dad
Jake: I'm your dad now too
Debra: Who's the jackass who wants to marry my daughter
Kramer: That would be me
Debra: You're kind of thin to be dating in my family
Kramer: Come again
Debra: The girls in my family usually bring home fat guys
Kramer: Fat guys?
Debra: Look at her ex
Kramer: Who's her ex
Debra: David!!!
David: What
Debra: Come here
David: Why ?
Debra: Because I said so
David: Okay
Debra: Look at the fat on this guy
David: I'm not fat I'm plump
Debra: Same difference to me
David: Well!
Debra: He's also gay and that's why they broke up
Kramer: Kelly
Kelly: (Nevously) Yes
Kramer: You never told me about your lardo ex.
David: Lardo?
Kramer: Sit down fatty
David: I never
Kelly: There's more family to meet
Kramer: (To himself) What did I get myself into?

Commercial Break

Kelly: I would like you to meet my aunt, my three sisters and my grandma
Kramer: Okey dokey
Sally: Hello
Kramer: This beauty must be you aunt
Sally: You slay me but I'm her aunt
Marissa: Hello did you know I was a therapist
Susie: How ya doin
Mandy: Wuz up shawty
Kelly: These are my sisters
Kramer: I could have guessed that
Kelly: Mandy's kind of a tom boy
Mandy: Why you dissin me in front of yo boo?
Kelly: Love you though
Mandy: You best to step off
Kelly: Stepping off
Fran: Why haven't you introduced me?
Elenor: Or Me?
Kelly: I was getting to you guys
Fran and Elenor: When
Kelly: Right now
Fran: Then start
Kelly: These two ladies are my grandma and her mother
Kramer: Kelly
Kelly: Huh
Kramer: We need to talk
Kelly: Why
Kramer: Let's step outside
Jerry: While you do that I will search for a hotel to spend the night in
Kramer: You do that
Kramer: (Stepping outside) Kelly
Kelly: What
Kramer: Your family can't live here.
Kelly: What?

Announcer: Is this an end for Kramer and Kelly? Tune in next week for anther exciting episode of Kramer starring Michael Richards.