Brian Damage
02-14-2010, 04:29 PM
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/10-ways-jennifer-aniston-save-career/story?id=9801432
1. Like her character in the soon-to-be released film "The Baster," we think Jen should get knocked up via in vitro. Life imitating art is always interesting.
2. Since the world is obsessed with Jen's body, we think she might get everyone's attention by taking on the part of an obese woman in an Oscar-worthy film. Then everyone can get all excited about how she gained the weight and lost it again. Wow!
3. Can we recommend a sex tape? Just hopefully NOT with John Mayer.
4. Do a Shakespeare play, Jen! Or pretty much anything on Broadway. It will earn you acting cred.
5. We know what she needs ... an edgy show on HBO. Emmy gold. Don't fight it. Just go back to television, Jen.
6. She could also broaden her sexual horizons. Maybe Ellen DeGeneres could hook her up with a girlfriend?
7. When in doubt, change your hair color. Jen's been blond for too long; how about dark brown instead?
8. Maybe Jen should play a superhero in an action flick and get all buff. Or a prostitute with a heart of gold. Anything hugely out of genre.
9. She should start a frenemy feud with Courteney Cox, à la Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.
10. Where do you think Jennifer should go from here?
1. Like her character in the soon-to-be released film "The Baster," we think Jen should get knocked up via in vitro. Life imitating art is always interesting.
2. Since the world is obsessed with Jen's body, we think she might get everyone's attention by taking on the part of an obese woman in an Oscar-worthy film. Then everyone can get all excited about how she gained the weight and lost it again. Wow!
3. Can we recommend a sex tape? Just hopefully NOT with John Mayer.
4. Do a Shakespeare play, Jen! Or pretty much anything on Broadway. It will earn you acting cred.
5. We know what she needs ... an edgy show on HBO. Emmy gold. Don't fight it. Just go back to television, Jen.
6. She could also broaden her sexual horizons. Maybe Ellen DeGeneres could hook her up with a girlfriend?
7. When in doubt, change your hair color. Jen's been blond for too long; how about dark brown instead?
8. Maybe Jen should play a superhero in an action flick and get all buff. Or a prostitute with a heart of gold. Anything hugely out of genre.
9. She should start a frenemy feud with Courteney Cox, à la Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.
10. Where do you think Jennifer should go from here?