JamesG
01-22-2010, 07:56 PM
1. Putting Jay Leno at 10pm
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Having agreed back in 2004 to give Conan O'Brien The Tonight Show in 2009 - but not wanting to lose the still (very) popular Jay Leno - NBC execs. needed a plan.
In December 2008, armed with spreadsheets that demonstrated how much money the network would save on production costs, NBC announced their big idea: Jay Leno gets a five-night-a-week comedy show at 10pm!
WHAT HAPPENED?
The Jay Leno Show couldn't pull a prime-time-size audience. And when Leno went down, he took the ratings for the all-important local newscasts with him (major markets like Philadelphia plummeted as much as 48%).
The O'Brien hosted Tonight Show, meanwhile, saw its numbers drop 50% - both as a result of a weaker lead-in and the redheaded host's less-than-mainstream comedy style.
Frantic to right a wrong, NBC Entertainment chairman Jeff Gaspin announced that that he was yanking Leno in primetime, and he proposed turning it into a half-hour yukfest at 11:35pm - thus bumping Tonight to 12:35am tomorrow.
The 46-year-old O'Brien vehemently opposed the offer, insisting that NBC's proposed time shift would result in the "destruction" of a vulnerable institution.
Amid a wave of pro-O'Brien sentiment, at press time the host was negotitating a way off the network that would net a payout of nearly $40 million, which includes severence for his staff - though he'd have to stay off the air until at least next fall before resurfacing elsewhere, like maybe on FOX.
As for Leno, he'll get to return to The Tonight Show gig he clearly wasn't ready to leave.
LESSON LEARNED
Programming for the bottom line instead of ratings - NBC Universal President Jeff Zucker's stated goal ends up hurting both.
2. FOX Yanks Family Guy off the air - TWICE! (1999 & 2002)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
It debuted to 22 million viewers after the 1999 Super Bowl, but the irrevelant cartoon saw its ratings fall due in large part to numerous time-slot shifts.
FOX pulled it from the schedule in late 1999, then aired episodes sporadically until 2002, when they officially canceled it.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Family fans rallied, making the show the top-selling TV-on-DVD set of 2003, while reruns on Cartoon Network boosted viewership by 239%.
In 2005, a chastened FOX brought the show back, and it's now one of their Sunday-night tentpoles.
LESSON LEARNED
King of the Hill lasted 13 seasons - The Simpsons is on year 21.
When it comes to FOX animation, patience is truly a virtue.
3. Cavemen (2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Those Geico ads are hilarious - a sitcom starring the hairy cavemen is a sure thing!
"It started in a really true place," exec. producer Josh Gordon told EW in 2007. "It wasn't 'how to make a TV show that could sell auto insurance.'"
WHAT HAPPENED?
Critics scoffed, ratings went middling to weak, and the misguided endeavor ended after six episodes.
LESSON LEARNED
What's funny for 30 seconds can become very tiresome after 22 minutes.
Especially if it's not saving us any money.
4. Moonlighting's David and Maddie Hook-up (1987)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Over the course of two and a half seasons, the Bruce Willis-Cybil Shepherd detective dramedy became a pop culture phenonmenon filled with lust/hate romantic tension.
The combustible chemistry came to a head for a heavily hyped Season Three event, when David and Maddie finally had sex.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Once the duo did the deed, Moonlighting went creatively limp. (Other complications including behind-the-scenes bickering, contributed to the problem).
The show was canceled in 1989 - and became a warning to all writers of all future will-they-or-won't-they TV couples.
LESSON LEARNED
Kids, sexual tension is a sacred thing.
Save yourself for your final episode.
5. The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (1998)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
This infamous sitcom about Abraham Lincoln's titular black butler (played by Chi McBride) - featuring jokes about slavery and Lincoln's gay tendencies - was fledgling network UPN's attempt to grab at attention.
As entertainment president Tom Nunan told EW at the time, "This is exactly the show we want to put on our air to say 'We do cool TV too!'"
WHAT HAPPENED?
The series was met with protests from NAACP, so UPN pulled the controversial pilot and aired an alternate episode instead.
The series got the ax three weeks later.
LESSON LEARNED
This shouldn't surprise anyone: Slavery is not funny!
6. Premature Exits
All TV actors should heed the cautionary tales of three famous faces who jumped off successful ships only to see their star status quickly sink:
a) After feuding with the Bonanza writers and producers, Pernell Roberts bailed in 1965 at the end of season six.
While the Western continued its run for eight more years, the next decade and a half weren't so fame-filled for Roberts.
(He ultimately bounced back with 1979's Trapper John, M.D.)
b) Shelley Long walked out of CHEERS in 1987 following season five; in addition to pursuing a movie career, the actress said she left to spend time with her young daughter.
Long never regained her Hollywood footing (save for her portrayal as Carol Brady in The Brady Bunch motion pictures)
c) David Caruso, the actor who left the NYPD Blue precinct during season two in 1994 to become a movie star.
The result? Two flops (Kiss of Death, Jade) and an ill-fated tv comeback in Michael Hayes.
Caruso would have to wait eight years to conquer tv again, thanks to a pair of shades and a show called CSI: Miami.
7. Coupling (2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Looking to find their next Friends, NBC execs. decided the solution was... to launch an adaptation of England's version of Friends.
"It's a provocative show," boasted then NBC Entertainment President Jeff Zucker. "There will be no other comedy on broadcast television like it."
WHAT HAPPENED?
With abysmal ratings and protests from groups like the PTC, the sitcom was pulled by NBC after four episodes.
LESSON LEARNED
For every import that works (The Office, Ugly Betty, American Idol) there are a dozen more that fail (Life on Mars, Cracker, Kath & Kim).
8. ABC Overdoes Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (2000-2002)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
After the Regis Philbin-hosted game show exploded in August 1999, ABC execs. used it to fill multiple weak spots in their schedule, eventually running Millionaire four nights a week.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Though the network raked in short-term ad dollars, the overexposure created viewer burnout, and truncated Millionaire's reign as a phenom.
LESSON LEARNED
There can be too much of a good thing.
9. Felicity Cuts Her Hair (1999)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Producers thought it would be dramatic for buzzy star Keri Russell to chop off her signature long curly hair, at the start of the college drama's second season, as her character tried to move on from a bad breakup.
WHAT HAPPENED?
The haircut heard 'round the world led to a deep cut in the ratings - although a time-slot switch and the series' moodier tone certainly didn't help.
"Nobody is cutting her hair again on our network," WB Entertainment president Suzanne Daniels later declared.
LESSON LEARNED
There is such a thing as bad-hair season, especially on a network of young hot things.
10. The XFL (2001)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
NBC and WWF teamed up to create an alternative football league that would attract NFL fans looking for "extreme" action during the off-season.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Remember that player with "He Hate Me" printed on the back of his jersey? He was onto something.
Viewers derided the XFL as lame, and the league folded after one season.
LESSON LEARNED
Tough-sounding team names (Hitmen, Xtreme, Maniax) don't matter if the teams are just plain tough to watch.
11. Terrible Late-Night Talk Shows
The road to late-night glory is littered with the carcasses of those crashed and burned behind the desk. Pat Sajak, Joan Rivers, Rick "Disco Duck" Dees.
However, the two biggest flameouts have to be Chevy Chase and Magic Johnson. But whose was the bigger bomb? Tough call.
Both The Chevy Chase Show (1993) and The Magic Hour (1998) were spectacurlary inept.
Chevy began his first episode by missing three easy shots into his onstage basketball hoop - and things just got worse from there.
Magic's low point came when he allowed Howard Stern's crew to come spend an entire hour farting into the microphones and telling him how horrible his show was.
THE VERDICT
I cannot stress enough how awful Magic Johnson was as a talk-show host.
Still, Chevy was considered a genius of late-night TV from his days on SNL, making his bomb all the more deadly.
12. Reality Hosts Destroy The Emmys
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
What better way to celebrate the Emmys' new category of Outstanding Reality Host than letting the nominees host the entire show?
Survivor's Jeff Probst
Dancing With The Stars' Tom Bergeron
Deal or No Deal's Howie Mandell
Project Runway's Heidi Klum
American Idol's Ryan Seacrest
WHAT HAPPENED?
The quintet flopped from the very first minute.
Turns out doing an ad-libbed skit about how unprepared you are to host the Emmys is not a good way to start of hosting the Emmys.
LESSON LEARNED
Sometimes it pays to have an actual script.
13. Jackie Gleason Apologizes For You're In The Picture (1961)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
The game show featured celebrities sticking their heads into an illustrated backdrop, and then guessing what famous scene they were a part of by quizzing host Gleason.
If they guessed correctly, CARE packages were donated to those in need.
WHAT HAPPENED?
The show's first episode was hammered by critics, and the following week Gleason appeared on a bare set to issue his now-famous apology.
He quipped that Picture, "would make the H-bomb look like a two inch salute."
LESSON LEARNED
Nothing wrong with stars competing for charity, but it helps to make sure the game they're playing is, you know, good.
14. The Brady Bunch's Cousin Oliver (1974)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
By '74, Greg was about 80 years old and Bobby's puberty wasn't exactly pretty - or funny.
So with the show needing a cute scamp to shake things up, Carol's nephew Oliver (Robbie Rist) came to live with the Bradys near the end of season five.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Oliver became the patron saint of the unwanted child and lasted only six episodes, at which point The Brady Bunch was canceled.
He left an unfortunate TV legacy: The Hail Mary Moppet.
LESSON LEARNED
No one likes a new kid. Look at:
Stephanie on All in the Family
Sam on Diff'rent Strokes
Billy on Who's The Boss
Luke on Growing Pains
Maddie on Ally McBeal
and don't forget Scrappy Doo!
15. Kid Nation (2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
We'll drop a bunch of children in a New Mexico ghost town and let them create their own society!
It'll be like Survivor, but adorable!
As exec. producer Tom Forman told EW that summer, "This feels more real than any reality show we've ever seen. The kids are incredibly honest."
WHAT HAPPENED?
The show got bogged down in scandals like a child-labor law investigation by the state (it was eventually dismissed) and the news that youngsters accidentally drank bleach (they lived).
There was no Season 2.
LESSON LEARNED
Viewers love reality TV drama... provided everyone involved is past puberty.
16. Networks and Stars Pass On Hit Shows
We all make mistakes. But most of them don't go on to win truckloads of Emmys, make millions of dollars, and turn their casts into incredibly popular TV stars.
a) HBO famously passed on Sopranos' writer Matthew Weiners' creation Mad Men, only to watch it win rave reviews and every award possible for AMC.
b) ABC turned down future ratings juggernaut CSI at a time when it was relying on the likes of Two Guys and a Girl for survival.
c) Rob Lowe was offered Dr. McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy (which would make a star out of Patrick Dempsey). He decided to take a gamble on five-episode Dr. Vegas instead and lost.
(He however later went on Brothers & Sisters).
17. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (2006-2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Aaron Sorkin's much ballyhooed return to TV after The West Wing featured a pedigreed cast led by Matt Perry an Bradley Whitford and a subject everyone knows - late-sketch comedy.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Sorkin's patented walk-and-talks were not as effective when characters were in a huff about those bastar*s at network standards and practices.
The drama attracted a strong initial audience, but viewers soon checked out of Studio 60, and the show was yanked off the air in early 2007.
NBC - which had confidentially made an early series committment before the pilot was even shot - quietly burned off the remainder of the 22 episodes that summer.
LESSON LEARNED
Even certified TV geniuses can have awful ideas.
18. Joanie Loves Chaci (1982-1983)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
In an effort to find a follow-up to the aging Happy Days - while also capitalizing on the teen-steam appeal of stars Scott Baio and Erin Moran - ABC moved the lovebirds to Chicago and got them to sing!
WHAT HAPPENED?
In spite of Baio's big-time heart-throb status, the show was canceled after two brief seasons.
Possible root of the problem: Baio and Moran performed original new music in every episode.
LESSON LEARNED
Keep Scott Baio away from any and all microphones.
19. NBC Cancels Baywatch (1990) and JAG (1996)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Ratings for David Hasselhoff's lifeguard drama and David Elliot's military courtroom series weren't strong enough to persuade NBC to pick up the shows for a second season.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Baywatch producers got new funding and sold the show into first-run syndication, where it ran for ten more seasons, grossed hundreds of millions of dollars, and (according to Guinness) became the most popular show in the world.
As for JAG, CBS picked it up and it went on to run for nine more seasons and spawned the hit spin-off NCIS, which went on to launch NCIS: Los Angeles.
LESSON LEARNED
An itchy trigger finger can lead to financial regret.
20. Coy and Vance Replace Bo and Luke Duke
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Himbos are all interchangeable, right?
So when John Schnieder and Tom Wopat walked out of The Dukes of Hazzard over a contract dispute in the spring of 1982, the studio replaced them with cousins Byron Cherry and Chris Mayer.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Viewers didn't swoon for the look-alikes.
Though Bo and Luke were re-instated the following February, the franchise never fully recovered.
LESSON LEARNED
Beloved characters cannot be replaced with look-alikes.
21. American Juniors (2003)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
It's American Idol with kids!
And we'll get Justin Guarini to be one of the judges!
WHAT HAPPENED?
The goal was to put together a supergroup to croon lyrics like "One step closer to heaven," but it was hell for the viewers who endured scamps being critiqued by judges.
After a strong start, ratings nose-dived, and season two was called off.
LESSON LEARNED
Seeing adults have their hopes and dreams crushed on national television is hilarious - yes!
Seeing little kids? Not so much.
22. On The Lot (2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
"Exec. produced by Steven Spielberg and Mark Burnett."
WHAT HAPPENED?
The reality show - which followed aspiring filmmakers vying for a $1 Million development deal - featured a roster of director judges including Garry Marshall, Brett Ratner, and Michael Bay... but not Spielberg.
The debut lost 70% of its American Idol lead-ins, host Chelsea Handler jumped ship, the live results shows were axed, and ratings dropped to 3 million viewers.
LESSON LEARNED
Having big names behind-the-scenes isn't enough.
23. The LOST Rip-offs of 2005: Surface, Threshold, and Invasion
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
With LOST providing that mythology-laced sci-fi drama that could attract younger viewers, the networks scrambled to create the next great geeky mystery.
WHAT HAPPENED?
While the three copycat series went out of their way to ask plenty of questions wrapped in enigmas surrounded by even more questions, the answer provided by the audience was a resounding "WE DON'T CARE!"
The shows lasted for a combined total of 50 episodes.
LESSON LEARNED
Some concepts simply cannot be duplicated.
24. Pink Lady... and Jeff (1980)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
English? No problem!
NBC president Fred Silverman was convinced that American audiences would love a variety show starring Japanese pop-duo Pink Lady with American comedian Jeff Altman serving as translator.
WHAT HAPPENED?
For five painful episodes, Altman did cheesy stand-up while Pink Lady attempted to lip-synch disco hits like "Boogie Wonderland".
LESSON LEARNED
Variety shows are challenging enough when your hosts do speak English.
25. Totally Absurd Musical Dramas
American Idol. Church. The Shower.
All places where singing is not only allowed but encouraged.
But what happens when you try to add crooning to scripted dramas?
You get Cop Rock (1990) and Viva Laughlin' (2007)
Cop Rock had policemen, perps, juries, you name it... all break out into song.
There was even one tender little ditty between a crackhead mommy and the baby she was about to sell for $200.
The Nevada-set Viva Laughlin' tried more for a sex and sizzle, but couldn't even pull off camp appeal, even with mega-star Hugh Jackman; gone after two episodes.
VERDICT
While we have to give the crackhead mom props for actually having a pretty decent voice, the scene was one of the most ridiculous in TV history, sealing the deal for Cop Rock in this epic duel of the debacles.
and the rest...
26. The Writers' Strike (2007-2008)
The squabble-shut Hollywood down for 100 days - and gave us the spring edition of Big Brother.
27. Life With Lucy (1986)
The last sitcom from comedy legend Lucille Ball was a legendary eight episodes.
28. Central Park West (1995-1996)
Darren Star's campy sudser was such a bad fit with CBS' old-fogy image, Raquel Welch herself couldn't save it.
29. Pirate Master (2007)
This attempt to blend Survivor with Pirates of the Caribbean resulted in.. the worst of both worlds.
30. Casting Ryan Jenkins on Megan Wants a Millionaire (2009)
The hiring of the 32 year old contestant - who hanged himself soon after police named him as the prime suspect in his wife's murder - highlighted reality TV's reliance on quicky background checks.
31. Project Runway goes to L.A. (2009)
Boring contestants and MIA judges meant a weak Lifetime debut.
32. Bionic Woman (2007)
Not even Battlestar Gallactica exec. producer David Eick could make this uninspired TV reboot work.
33. MyNetworkTV (2006)
News Corp's effort to launch an alternative to The CW using English-language telenovas was greeted with overwhelming indifference by many viewers.
34. 60 Minutes II Apologizes (2004)
The spin-off news mag. ran a story on President Bush's military record in the National Guard... but their evidence was bogus and they had to issue an on-air apology.
35. Are You Hot?: The Search For America's Sexiest People (2003)
Lorenzo Lamas used a laser pointer to show people's imperfections on national TV. Say classy, ABC!
36. Gilmore Girls minus Creator Amy Sherman-Palladino (2006)
Sherman-Palladino's voice was key to the show, but the network kept the series going after negotiations with her fell through.
Fans got one last, limp season.
37. Turning Hit Movies Into Sitcoms
Besides M*A*S*H, has it ever worked?
Let's see...
My Big Fat Greek Life
Clueless
Uncle Buck
Ferris Bueller
38. The Lone Gunmen (2001)
The truth may be out there, but the ratings weren't for this X-Files spin-off.
39. Joe Millionaire 2 (2003)
Foreign floozies competed for a cowboy in this poorly received second season that most have forgotten about.
40. Welcome to the Neighborhood (2005)
ABC canned this reality show mess about African-Americans, Hispanics, and gays vying for a house in a white suburb; it never made it to airing.
41. The Fugitive (2000-2001)
The splashy Tim Daly remake got all of the hype, but the show after it (CSI) got all of the viewers.
42. Hello, Larry (1979-1980)
The worst of McLean Stevenson's-post M*A*S*H flops.
And that is saying something.
43. Casting Eric Balfour in Anything
Fearless never made it to the air.
Hawaii, Conviction, and Sex Love & Secrets flopped.
Even his guest-list (FreakyLinks, Ink, The Ex List, Life on Mars..) is problematic.
44. Six Degrees (2006)
J.J. Abrams' name above the title and a post-Grey's Anatomy slot weren't enough to interest people in this tepid relationship drama.
45. Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football (2000-2002)
If there's one thing football fans love, it's for some know-it-all to club them over the head with obscure references to require an encyclopedia to decipher.
46. Emily's Reasons Why Not (2006)
It had a big star (Heather Graham), a premise based on a popular book, a HUGE promotional push... and no viewers.
Gone after one episode.
47. My Mother The Car (1965-1966)
Just look at the title. Does that sound like a good idea to you?
48. Networks Give Up On Saturday Night
Once upon a time millions of folks tuned in for powerhouse Saturday night programming, like The Love Boat and Mary Tyler Moore.
Today the best we can hope for is a rerun of Numb3rs.
49. The Beautiful Life: TBL (2009)
This Mischa Barton fashion drama met an early demise after two episodes aired.
50. Replacing Jane Pauley with Deborah Norville on Today
Pushing fan favorite Pauley off the couch in favor of the younger Norville sent viewers fleeing to Good Morning America.
Norville was out the door less than two years later.
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Having agreed back in 2004 to give Conan O'Brien The Tonight Show in 2009 - but not wanting to lose the still (very) popular Jay Leno - NBC execs. needed a plan.
In December 2008, armed with spreadsheets that demonstrated how much money the network would save on production costs, NBC announced their big idea: Jay Leno gets a five-night-a-week comedy show at 10pm!
WHAT HAPPENED?
The Jay Leno Show couldn't pull a prime-time-size audience. And when Leno went down, he took the ratings for the all-important local newscasts with him (major markets like Philadelphia plummeted as much as 48%).
The O'Brien hosted Tonight Show, meanwhile, saw its numbers drop 50% - both as a result of a weaker lead-in and the redheaded host's less-than-mainstream comedy style.
Frantic to right a wrong, NBC Entertainment chairman Jeff Gaspin announced that that he was yanking Leno in primetime, and he proposed turning it into a half-hour yukfest at 11:35pm - thus bumping Tonight to 12:35am tomorrow.
The 46-year-old O'Brien vehemently opposed the offer, insisting that NBC's proposed time shift would result in the "destruction" of a vulnerable institution.
Amid a wave of pro-O'Brien sentiment, at press time the host was negotitating a way off the network that would net a payout of nearly $40 million, which includes severence for his staff - though he'd have to stay off the air until at least next fall before resurfacing elsewhere, like maybe on FOX.
As for Leno, he'll get to return to The Tonight Show gig he clearly wasn't ready to leave.
LESSON LEARNED
Programming for the bottom line instead of ratings - NBC Universal President Jeff Zucker's stated goal ends up hurting both.
2. FOX Yanks Family Guy off the air - TWICE! (1999 & 2002)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
It debuted to 22 million viewers after the 1999 Super Bowl, but the irrevelant cartoon saw its ratings fall due in large part to numerous time-slot shifts.
FOX pulled it from the schedule in late 1999, then aired episodes sporadically until 2002, when they officially canceled it.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Family fans rallied, making the show the top-selling TV-on-DVD set of 2003, while reruns on Cartoon Network boosted viewership by 239%.
In 2005, a chastened FOX brought the show back, and it's now one of their Sunday-night tentpoles.
LESSON LEARNED
King of the Hill lasted 13 seasons - The Simpsons is on year 21.
When it comes to FOX animation, patience is truly a virtue.
3. Cavemen (2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Those Geico ads are hilarious - a sitcom starring the hairy cavemen is a sure thing!
"It started in a really true place," exec. producer Josh Gordon told EW in 2007. "It wasn't 'how to make a TV show that could sell auto insurance.'"
WHAT HAPPENED?
Critics scoffed, ratings went middling to weak, and the misguided endeavor ended after six episodes.
LESSON LEARNED
What's funny for 30 seconds can become very tiresome after 22 minutes.
Especially if it's not saving us any money.
4. Moonlighting's David and Maddie Hook-up (1987)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Over the course of two and a half seasons, the Bruce Willis-Cybil Shepherd detective dramedy became a pop culture phenonmenon filled with lust/hate romantic tension.
The combustible chemistry came to a head for a heavily hyped Season Three event, when David and Maddie finally had sex.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Once the duo did the deed, Moonlighting went creatively limp. (Other complications including behind-the-scenes bickering, contributed to the problem).
The show was canceled in 1989 - and became a warning to all writers of all future will-they-or-won't-they TV couples.
LESSON LEARNED
Kids, sexual tension is a sacred thing.
Save yourself for your final episode.
5. The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (1998)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
This infamous sitcom about Abraham Lincoln's titular black butler (played by Chi McBride) - featuring jokes about slavery and Lincoln's gay tendencies - was fledgling network UPN's attempt to grab at attention.
As entertainment president Tom Nunan told EW at the time, "This is exactly the show we want to put on our air to say 'We do cool TV too!'"
WHAT HAPPENED?
The series was met with protests from NAACP, so UPN pulled the controversial pilot and aired an alternate episode instead.
The series got the ax three weeks later.
LESSON LEARNED
This shouldn't surprise anyone: Slavery is not funny!
6. Premature Exits
All TV actors should heed the cautionary tales of three famous faces who jumped off successful ships only to see their star status quickly sink:
a) After feuding with the Bonanza writers and producers, Pernell Roberts bailed in 1965 at the end of season six.
While the Western continued its run for eight more years, the next decade and a half weren't so fame-filled for Roberts.
(He ultimately bounced back with 1979's Trapper John, M.D.)
b) Shelley Long walked out of CHEERS in 1987 following season five; in addition to pursuing a movie career, the actress said she left to spend time with her young daughter.
Long never regained her Hollywood footing (save for her portrayal as Carol Brady in The Brady Bunch motion pictures)
c) David Caruso, the actor who left the NYPD Blue precinct during season two in 1994 to become a movie star.
The result? Two flops (Kiss of Death, Jade) and an ill-fated tv comeback in Michael Hayes.
Caruso would have to wait eight years to conquer tv again, thanks to a pair of shades and a show called CSI: Miami.
7. Coupling (2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Looking to find their next Friends, NBC execs. decided the solution was... to launch an adaptation of England's version of Friends.
"It's a provocative show," boasted then NBC Entertainment President Jeff Zucker. "There will be no other comedy on broadcast television like it."
WHAT HAPPENED?
With abysmal ratings and protests from groups like the PTC, the sitcom was pulled by NBC after four episodes.
LESSON LEARNED
For every import that works (The Office, Ugly Betty, American Idol) there are a dozen more that fail (Life on Mars, Cracker, Kath & Kim).
8. ABC Overdoes Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (2000-2002)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
After the Regis Philbin-hosted game show exploded in August 1999, ABC execs. used it to fill multiple weak spots in their schedule, eventually running Millionaire four nights a week.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Though the network raked in short-term ad dollars, the overexposure created viewer burnout, and truncated Millionaire's reign as a phenom.
LESSON LEARNED
There can be too much of a good thing.
9. Felicity Cuts Her Hair (1999)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Producers thought it would be dramatic for buzzy star Keri Russell to chop off her signature long curly hair, at the start of the college drama's second season, as her character tried to move on from a bad breakup.
WHAT HAPPENED?
The haircut heard 'round the world led to a deep cut in the ratings - although a time-slot switch and the series' moodier tone certainly didn't help.
"Nobody is cutting her hair again on our network," WB Entertainment president Suzanne Daniels later declared.
LESSON LEARNED
There is such a thing as bad-hair season, especially on a network of young hot things.
10. The XFL (2001)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
NBC and WWF teamed up to create an alternative football league that would attract NFL fans looking for "extreme" action during the off-season.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Remember that player with "He Hate Me" printed on the back of his jersey? He was onto something.
Viewers derided the XFL as lame, and the league folded after one season.
LESSON LEARNED
Tough-sounding team names (Hitmen, Xtreme, Maniax) don't matter if the teams are just plain tough to watch.
11. Terrible Late-Night Talk Shows
The road to late-night glory is littered with the carcasses of those crashed and burned behind the desk. Pat Sajak, Joan Rivers, Rick "Disco Duck" Dees.
However, the two biggest flameouts have to be Chevy Chase and Magic Johnson. But whose was the bigger bomb? Tough call.
Both The Chevy Chase Show (1993) and The Magic Hour (1998) were spectacurlary inept.
Chevy began his first episode by missing three easy shots into his onstage basketball hoop - and things just got worse from there.
Magic's low point came when he allowed Howard Stern's crew to come spend an entire hour farting into the microphones and telling him how horrible his show was.
THE VERDICT
I cannot stress enough how awful Magic Johnson was as a talk-show host.
Still, Chevy was considered a genius of late-night TV from his days on SNL, making his bomb all the more deadly.
12. Reality Hosts Destroy The Emmys
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
What better way to celebrate the Emmys' new category of Outstanding Reality Host than letting the nominees host the entire show?
Survivor's Jeff Probst
Dancing With The Stars' Tom Bergeron
Deal or No Deal's Howie Mandell
Project Runway's Heidi Klum
American Idol's Ryan Seacrest
WHAT HAPPENED?
The quintet flopped from the very first minute.
Turns out doing an ad-libbed skit about how unprepared you are to host the Emmys is not a good way to start of hosting the Emmys.
LESSON LEARNED
Sometimes it pays to have an actual script.
13. Jackie Gleason Apologizes For You're In The Picture (1961)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
The game show featured celebrities sticking their heads into an illustrated backdrop, and then guessing what famous scene they were a part of by quizzing host Gleason.
If they guessed correctly, CARE packages were donated to those in need.
WHAT HAPPENED?
The show's first episode was hammered by critics, and the following week Gleason appeared on a bare set to issue his now-famous apology.
He quipped that Picture, "would make the H-bomb look like a two inch salute."
LESSON LEARNED
Nothing wrong with stars competing for charity, but it helps to make sure the game they're playing is, you know, good.
14. The Brady Bunch's Cousin Oliver (1974)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
By '74, Greg was about 80 years old and Bobby's puberty wasn't exactly pretty - or funny.
So with the show needing a cute scamp to shake things up, Carol's nephew Oliver (Robbie Rist) came to live with the Bradys near the end of season five.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Oliver became the patron saint of the unwanted child and lasted only six episodes, at which point The Brady Bunch was canceled.
He left an unfortunate TV legacy: The Hail Mary Moppet.
LESSON LEARNED
No one likes a new kid. Look at:
Stephanie on All in the Family
Sam on Diff'rent Strokes
Billy on Who's The Boss
Luke on Growing Pains
Maddie on Ally McBeal
and don't forget Scrappy Doo!
15. Kid Nation (2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
We'll drop a bunch of children in a New Mexico ghost town and let them create their own society!
It'll be like Survivor, but adorable!
As exec. producer Tom Forman told EW that summer, "This feels more real than any reality show we've ever seen. The kids are incredibly honest."
WHAT HAPPENED?
The show got bogged down in scandals like a child-labor law investigation by the state (it was eventually dismissed) and the news that youngsters accidentally drank bleach (they lived).
There was no Season 2.
LESSON LEARNED
Viewers love reality TV drama... provided everyone involved is past puberty.
16. Networks and Stars Pass On Hit Shows
We all make mistakes. But most of them don't go on to win truckloads of Emmys, make millions of dollars, and turn their casts into incredibly popular TV stars.
a) HBO famously passed on Sopranos' writer Matthew Weiners' creation Mad Men, only to watch it win rave reviews and every award possible for AMC.
b) ABC turned down future ratings juggernaut CSI at a time when it was relying on the likes of Two Guys and a Girl for survival.
c) Rob Lowe was offered Dr. McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy (which would make a star out of Patrick Dempsey). He decided to take a gamble on five-episode Dr. Vegas instead and lost.
(He however later went on Brothers & Sisters).
17. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (2006-2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Aaron Sorkin's much ballyhooed return to TV after The West Wing featured a pedigreed cast led by Matt Perry an Bradley Whitford and a subject everyone knows - late-sketch comedy.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Sorkin's patented walk-and-talks were not as effective when characters were in a huff about those bastar*s at network standards and practices.
The drama attracted a strong initial audience, but viewers soon checked out of Studio 60, and the show was yanked off the air in early 2007.
NBC - which had confidentially made an early series committment before the pilot was even shot - quietly burned off the remainder of the 22 episodes that summer.
LESSON LEARNED
Even certified TV geniuses can have awful ideas.
18. Joanie Loves Chaci (1982-1983)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
In an effort to find a follow-up to the aging Happy Days - while also capitalizing on the teen-steam appeal of stars Scott Baio and Erin Moran - ABC moved the lovebirds to Chicago and got them to sing!
WHAT HAPPENED?
In spite of Baio's big-time heart-throb status, the show was canceled after two brief seasons.
Possible root of the problem: Baio and Moran performed original new music in every episode.
LESSON LEARNED
Keep Scott Baio away from any and all microphones.
19. NBC Cancels Baywatch (1990) and JAG (1996)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Ratings for David Hasselhoff's lifeguard drama and David Elliot's military courtroom series weren't strong enough to persuade NBC to pick up the shows for a second season.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Baywatch producers got new funding and sold the show into first-run syndication, where it ran for ten more seasons, grossed hundreds of millions of dollars, and (according to Guinness) became the most popular show in the world.
As for JAG, CBS picked it up and it went on to run for nine more seasons and spawned the hit spin-off NCIS, which went on to launch NCIS: Los Angeles.
LESSON LEARNED
An itchy trigger finger can lead to financial regret.
20. Coy and Vance Replace Bo and Luke Duke
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Himbos are all interchangeable, right?
So when John Schnieder and Tom Wopat walked out of The Dukes of Hazzard over a contract dispute in the spring of 1982, the studio replaced them with cousins Byron Cherry and Chris Mayer.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Viewers didn't swoon for the look-alikes.
Though Bo and Luke were re-instated the following February, the franchise never fully recovered.
LESSON LEARNED
Beloved characters cannot be replaced with look-alikes.
21. American Juniors (2003)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
It's American Idol with kids!
And we'll get Justin Guarini to be one of the judges!
WHAT HAPPENED?
The goal was to put together a supergroup to croon lyrics like "One step closer to heaven," but it was hell for the viewers who endured scamps being critiqued by judges.
After a strong start, ratings nose-dived, and season two was called off.
LESSON LEARNED
Seeing adults have their hopes and dreams crushed on national television is hilarious - yes!
Seeing little kids? Not so much.
22. On The Lot (2007)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
"Exec. produced by Steven Spielberg and Mark Burnett."
WHAT HAPPENED?
The reality show - which followed aspiring filmmakers vying for a $1 Million development deal - featured a roster of director judges including Garry Marshall, Brett Ratner, and Michael Bay... but not Spielberg.
The debut lost 70% of its American Idol lead-ins, host Chelsea Handler jumped ship, the live results shows were axed, and ratings dropped to 3 million viewers.
LESSON LEARNED
Having big names behind-the-scenes isn't enough.
23. The LOST Rip-offs of 2005: Surface, Threshold, and Invasion
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
With LOST providing that mythology-laced sci-fi drama that could attract younger viewers, the networks scrambled to create the next great geeky mystery.
WHAT HAPPENED?
While the three copycat series went out of their way to ask plenty of questions wrapped in enigmas surrounded by even more questions, the answer provided by the audience was a resounding "WE DON'T CARE!"
The shows lasted for a combined total of 50 episodes.
LESSON LEARNED
Some concepts simply cannot be duplicated.
24. Pink Lady... and Jeff (1980)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
English? No problem!
NBC president Fred Silverman was convinced that American audiences would love a variety show starring Japanese pop-duo Pink Lady with American comedian Jeff Altman serving as translator.
WHAT HAPPENED?
For five painful episodes, Altman did cheesy stand-up while Pink Lady attempted to lip-synch disco hits like "Boogie Wonderland".
LESSON LEARNED
Variety shows are challenging enough when your hosts do speak English.
25. Totally Absurd Musical Dramas
American Idol. Church. The Shower.
All places where singing is not only allowed but encouraged.
But what happens when you try to add crooning to scripted dramas?
You get Cop Rock (1990) and Viva Laughlin' (2007)
Cop Rock had policemen, perps, juries, you name it... all break out into song.
There was even one tender little ditty between a crackhead mommy and the baby she was about to sell for $200.
The Nevada-set Viva Laughlin' tried more for a sex and sizzle, but couldn't even pull off camp appeal, even with mega-star Hugh Jackman; gone after two episodes.
VERDICT
While we have to give the crackhead mom props for actually having a pretty decent voice, the scene was one of the most ridiculous in TV history, sealing the deal for Cop Rock in this epic duel of the debacles.
and the rest...
26. The Writers' Strike (2007-2008)
The squabble-shut Hollywood down for 100 days - and gave us the spring edition of Big Brother.
27. Life With Lucy (1986)
The last sitcom from comedy legend Lucille Ball was a legendary eight episodes.
28. Central Park West (1995-1996)
Darren Star's campy sudser was such a bad fit with CBS' old-fogy image, Raquel Welch herself couldn't save it.
29. Pirate Master (2007)
This attempt to blend Survivor with Pirates of the Caribbean resulted in.. the worst of both worlds.
30. Casting Ryan Jenkins on Megan Wants a Millionaire (2009)
The hiring of the 32 year old contestant - who hanged himself soon after police named him as the prime suspect in his wife's murder - highlighted reality TV's reliance on quicky background checks.
31. Project Runway goes to L.A. (2009)
Boring contestants and MIA judges meant a weak Lifetime debut.
32. Bionic Woman (2007)
Not even Battlestar Gallactica exec. producer David Eick could make this uninspired TV reboot work.
33. MyNetworkTV (2006)
News Corp's effort to launch an alternative to The CW using English-language telenovas was greeted with overwhelming indifference by many viewers.
34. 60 Minutes II Apologizes (2004)
The spin-off news mag. ran a story on President Bush's military record in the National Guard... but their evidence was bogus and they had to issue an on-air apology.
35. Are You Hot?: The Search For America's Sexiest People (2003)
Lorenzo Lamas used a laser pointer to show people's imperfections on national TV. Say classy, ABC!
36. Gilmore Girls minus Creator Amy Sherman-Palladino (2006)
Sherman-Palladino's voice was key to the show, but the network kept the series going after negotiations with her fell through.
Fans got one last, limp season.
37. Turning Hit Movies Into Sitcoms
Besides M*A*S*H, has it ever worked?
Let's see...
My Big Fat Greek Life
Clueless
Uncle Buck
Ferris Bueller
38. The Lone Gunmen (2001)
The truth may be out there, but the ratings weren't for this X-Files spin-off.
39. Joe Millionaire 2 (2003)
Foreign floozies competed for a cowboy in this poorly received second season that most have forgotten about.
40. Welcome to the Neighborhood (2005)
ABC canned this reality show mess about African-Americans, Hispanics, and gays vying for a house in a white suburb; it never made it to airing.
41. The Fugitive (2000-2001)
The splashy Tim Daly remake got all of the hype, but the show after it (CSI) got all of the viewers.
42. Hello, Larry (1979-1980)
The worst of McLean Stevenson's-post M*A*S*H flops.
And that is saying something.
43. Casting Eric Balfour in Anything
Fearless never made it to the air.
Hawaii, Conviction, and Sex Love & Secrets flopped.
Even his guest-list (FreakyLinks, Ink, The Ex List, Life on Mars..) is problematic.
44. Six Degrees (2006)
J.J. Abrams' name above the title and a post-Grey's Anatomy slot weren't enough to interest people in this tepid relationship drama.
45. Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football (2000-2002)
If there's one thing football fans love, it's for some know-it-all to club them over the head with obscure references to require an encyclopedia to decipher.
46. Emily's Reasons Why Not (2006)
It had a big star (Heather Graham), a premise based on a popular book, a HUGE promotional push... and no viewers.
Gone after one episode.
47. My Mother The Car (1965-1966)
Just look at the title. Does that sound like a good idea to you?
48. Networks Give Up On Saturday Night
Once upon a time millions of folks tuned in for powerhouse Saturday night programming, like The Love Boat and Mary Tyler Moore.
Today the best we can hope for is a rerun of Numb3rs.
49. The Beautiful Life: TBL (2009)
This Mischa Barton fashion drama met an early demise after two episodes aired.
50. Replacing Jane Pauley with Deborah Norville on Today
Pushing fan favorite Pauley off the couch in favor of the younger Norville sent viewers fleeing to Good Morning America.
Norville was out the door less than two years later.