2009 was the WORST year that I ever had! Not even 2007 can hold a candle with my death of grandpa, my brother getting cheated on, and being unemployed throughout the entire year (that was all in 2007).

This is what 2009 brought me...

Though I got my Drivers License early this year, I was hoping to get a car. But I wound-up being a bank for my parents as they 'borrowed' $3000 throughout this year. And when I did get a car, it got into an accident and I still had to ride Public Transportation like everybody else, which raised their prices again. The summer brought nothing but rain here so my father's business suffered so that meant we didn't do anything this summer and even though no one really died, Tradition did. This was the first time in my life that I missed-out on not only Madison Old Fashioned Days (since we had a Church Picnic that we couldn't get out of), but I missed-out my family reunion to Pennsylvania since we had no real good car and the one that made this Summer suck extreme ass was that I missed out The Milan Melon Festival. And work as well as finding a job was a total drag since BVR and Step-by-Step which helps me find jobs was sending me to Westlake and I can't even drive my parents car so I have to depend on Public Transportation! And I've been with them for over a year and I got nothing! And for my job at the church, they gave the whole staff a 20% pay cut. Looks like my hopes of getting a car is the same hopes a Cleveland Team has.

So my year was nothing but depression. God is just telling me again "You Are Not Ready"! And here's what I have to say to him..."Guess I never will be". It was another year of waiting and I have zero patience. Not only I get taken advantage of when I'm working, but everywhere else too. I might as well call myself Cinderella...or better yet...I wish I was never born at all!

I know my words are like this...:horse:, but I could use prayers for a new year which will happen tomorrow, because I see no hope for next year. :(