(Ralph just came home from a day's work. He goes to the window.)

Ralph (yells): "HEY NORTON! COME ON DOWN!"

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph?"

Ralph: "Well, Norton you are not ready to go out and vote."

Ed: "Vote? What for?"

Ralph: "What for?"

Ed: "To get out and waste one hour to vote, that's too much trouble. I only did it last year because I wanted to help the first black man to become president."

Ralph: "Yooou sneak. Do you know what trouble people go through to help you get the opportunity to live in a free country? In Afghanistan and Iraq, people made big sacrifices to make sure the citizens of those countries got the opportunity to vote."

Ed: "Well, if they knew about me, they wouldn't do it."

Ralph: "You are voting Norton. It's a big priviledge. I don't care which candidate wins. I am just thankful to live here."

(Audience cheers.)

Ed: "Well, I guess you are right there Ralph. I love a country that gave me the choice for me to say: 'I want to be a sewerworker when I grow up.'"

(Ralph's eyes roll.)

Ed: "I also love a country that says we don't have to love our leaders and if we don't, we won't get killed unlike..."

Ralph: "That BUM! Kim Young of North Korea. Well, lets go out and get ready to vote. Voting time is a fun time in America and I am proud to live in a free country where we can elect our leaders."

(They sing a song about Election Day.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, Art Carney."

(The audience applauds as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack'e hand.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

All L.E. quotes are from "Halloween Party" & "Halloween Party For The Boss":

#1

(Ed comes in dressed as Clara Bow.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Alice?"

(The crowd laughs then appluads.)

Alice: "Oh Ed you look wonderful."

Ed: "How did you recognize me?"

#2

Alice: "It's very simple Ralph. You are a Zulu Chief."

Ralph: "A Zulu Chief? Well, if this is what a Zulf Chief wears, I hate to be a private citizen in that tribe."

#3

(Ralph gets a mousetrap caught on his hand.)

Ralph (coming into the kitchen with a mousetrap on his hand, yells): "OWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Ed: "What have you got on your hand?"

Ralph: "A mousetrap."

Ed: "What are you going as, a mouse?"

All C39 quotes are from "The Man From Space":

#1

Alice: "Instead of buying a costume, why can't you use your brain and make one?"

Ralph: "Because I want to win. That's why."

#2

(Ralph has his "Man From Space" costume on.)

Ralph: "Can you see the faces on them (the Raccoons) down there (at the Raccoon Lodge) when I walk in with this? Well, what do you think?"

Alice: "I think you are nuts."

#3

Ralph: "That is the trouble with you. You don't know the latest developments."

Alice: "I don't know the latest developments? Who is it that lets out your pants every week?"

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Ralph: "That sailor that you saw in the hall was Trixie."

Ed: "It couldn't have been Trixie. She was in the army."

"Curse of The Kramdens":

Man: "Did your mitther come from Ireland?"

Ed: "What's a mitther?"

Ralph: "He means your mother."

Ed: "No, she didn't. Neither did my britther or my sitther. It was my grandfither."

"Curse of The Kramdens":

Ed: "Is it true that a ghost can go through a wall."

Ralph: "If that happens, you will see me going through that wall."

Credit goes to Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!