(The LA Angels beat the NY Yankees 5-4.)

(Ralph is moping around the apartment.)

Ralph: "Oooooh, if the Yankees just didn't make that error, they would have won this game. Game 3 goes down the tubes."

Alice: "Ralph, it had to happen some time. The Yankees may win the next two games."

Ralph: "Aaaah, the Angels have the momentum now. They are a tough team but not as good as the Yankees. I am hoping and praying the Yankees beat those pesky Angels tomorrow."

Alice: "Well..."

(Ed comes down.)

Ralph: "How was your day Norton?"

Ed: "It was a dark, dark day. The Yankees have lost. But, you know what? I am smiling. Do you know why? If the Yankees beat the Angels in five games and Philly beats those Dodgers in five games, the Yankees might not be rusty."

Ralph: "You know you are right. Those Yankees might have suffered sweeporitis if they swept the Angels and when it comes to the World Series, they might have been beaten badly."

Ed: "Boy, we have to keep this happiness up. Even if the Yankees do get beaten badly in the next three games. Even if the Yankees never win another World Series..."

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

Ralph: "I am telling you Alice, 2009 is the Yankees' year."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "How sweet it is."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Folks, time for the cast. Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Aud comes out and greets Jackie.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes out and greets Jackie.)

Jackie: "Good night everybody."

"Finders Keepers":

(Ralph & Ed want to get the money so they can buy Bartfled's Candy Store. Alice & Trixie won't give them the money.)

Ed: "Our money is in a joint account."

Ralph: "So what? That money is yours just as it is hers."

Ed: "There's a slight technicality there. Our joint account is in the name of Trixie and her mother."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "I know New York from top to bottom."

Ed: "I have been working in the sewer for years. I know New York from bottom to top."

"Flushing Ho":

Ralph: "When did you get those glasses?"

Ed: "About four months ago. The doctor told me that I have to wear them when I read."

Ralph: "Do they help?"

Ed: "I don't know. This is the first time I have tried them out."

"Kramden Vs. Norton":

Ralph: "Thank you very much for having my underwear outside all night. Now it's frozen stiff."

Alice: "I'm sorry."

Ralph: "Don't apologize. Just give me an ice pick and I will get dressed."

"The Deciding Vote":

Alice: "Ralph, what are you going to do?"

Ralph: "I will give that bum (Ed) a reference." (reading): "'How long have you known the applicant?' Too long." (reading): "'Is the applicant trustworthy?' Don't make me laugh." (reading): "'In your opinion, is the applicant a good character?' The applicant is a bum!"

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

Alice: "We have to get rid of Happy. He's too big for this apartment."

Ralph: "He's too big for a zoo."

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

Trixie: "Hey, I got to go downtown shopping tomorrow, there's a big sale on men's shorts. .89 cents a pair! Norton could sure use some."

Alice: "So could Ralph, what sizes have they got?"

Trixie: "All sizes: 32 to 50."

Alice: "Nope, nothing there for Ralph!"

"Sleepy Time Gal":

Ed: "Remember last year at the Raccoon Convention in New York where the police where cracking down on people who were throwing water bags out of the hotel windows? That didn't stop me. I just filled up the bags with water and threw them out my hotel window."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "I almost drowned. The window was closed."

"The Loudspeaker":

Ralph: "There's an honor with being Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler that is a benefit for both of us. If I'm elected Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler, we have the priviledge of free burial at the Raccoon National Cemetery? Do you know where that is? Bismark, North Dakota."

Alice: "Well, that's wonderful Ralph. Just wonderful. I always dreamed of going out west."