(The NY Yankees beat the LA Angels 4-3.)

(At the end of the game, Ralph & Ed are drinking beer.)

Ralph & Ed (singing off-key): "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS/WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS/ NO TIME FOR ANGELS BECAUSE WE ARRRRRRRRRRRRE THE CHAMPIONS..."

Alice (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Ralph: "Alice, me and Norton are howling because the Yankees once again came back from the brink of defeat and beat the Angels. They are now headed to Anaheim with a two-game lead."

Ed: "Anaheim? They are the LA Angels."

Ralph: "Yes, they are Norton. In 2003, they renamed themselves the LA Angels because that sounds much better than Anaheim Angels. Their full name is the LA Angels of Anaheim."

Ed: "Not only am I happy because the Yankees won, you got me all messed up."

Ralph: "Well, I hate to call that team the LAAOA."

(Audience laughs.)

Alice: "Ralph, I thought you would have more common sense than to sing at the top of your lungs at 1a."

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU SING WORSE THAN ROSEANNE."

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "YOU ARE NOT EXACTLY CELINE DION YOU KNOW."

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "AHHHH, SHUT UP!"

(Ralph goes away from the window.)

Ralph: "Time for game 3 on Monday night."

Ed: "I can't go Ralph."

Ralph: "Why?"

Ed: "I got an errand to run that night. I can do it only that night too."

Ralph: "What errand do you possibly have to do?"

Ed: "It is much more important than any Yankee game."

Ralph: "It must be pretty serious. Okay, I undertand Norton. What is the errand?"

Ed: "Me and Trixie are going to a movie together. We are seeing some love story."

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUUUUUUUUUUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Good night everyone."

(Audience cheers.)

"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely here without you."

Trixie: "Oh Ed, why don't you ever talk to me like that?"

Ed: "I would be very happy to if you only would go away every once and a while."

"A Weighty Problem Part One":

Ralph: "For my height, I am four pounds underweight. It says so in the chart."

Alice: "You must have been looking at a chart for a hippotomus."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

Alice: "How was the anchovy pizza that I made for you Mr. Gleason?"

Jackie: "I don't know. I ate it so fast, I didn't taste it."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Ralph & Alice are in the poolroom. The Nortons come in.)

Ralph: "I didn't know anything escaped from the zoo today."

Ed: "If it was an elephant, I can tell them where to look."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ed (reading the astrology book): "'Taurus the Bull seldom loses his temper, shows great wisdow in all financial matters and is extremely attractive to the opposite sex.'"

Ralph: "That is me all right."

"Funny Money":

Ralph: "Junk? Junk Junk? Just watch yourself Alice. This furniture was a wedding present from my grandfather."

Alice: "Yeah to your grandmother."

"The Worry Wart":

Ralph: "The governemnt is investigating me."

Alice: "You are not the first person to be investigated by the government."

Ed: "Yeah, the jails are full of them."

"Better Living Through TV":

Ralph: "I'm going to make a fortune and I'm going to let you in on the deal."

Ed: "Here we go again."

Ralph: "What kind of crack is that?"

Ed: "I'll tell you what kind of crack that was. You come to me before with things like this before. I can't stand to make a fortune again. I'm going broke."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ralph walks in as Alice and Trixie are rehearsing their act for the talent show.)

Alice: "We are rehearsing."

Ralph: "For what, The Bellevue Follies?"