"Ralph's Diet":

Alice: "You had enough food for you to last five days."

Ralph: "Is that so? Well, I want to live for at least six or seven days."

"Alice Plays Cupid":

Alice: "Who are you to talk about looks? You are no Humphrey Bogart."

Ralph: "No, but Henrietta is."

"Stand-In For Murder Part 1":

Ralph: "Some day, someone will discover you."

Ed: "Not unless he falls down an open manhole."

"The Bensonhurst Bomber":

Ed: "Boy, it's going to be a great fight and I have some news for you. Word came from the candy store a little while ago about your fight and they knocked the odds down to 500 to 1."

Ralph: "You mean that they are betting 500 to 1 that I lose."

Ed: "No. They are betting 500 to 1 that you don't even show up."

"TV or Not TV":

Ralph: "You are taking this set over my dead body."

Ed: "I couldn't do that. What do you think I am, a mountain climber?"

"Young At Heart":

Ralph: "How could I waddle like a duck?"

Ed: "It's easy. Just walk like you always do."

"Operation: Protset":

(Clifford makes the peace sign to Ralph.)

Cliff: "Peace."

Ralph (grabbing one of the fingers): "Alice, grab the other one and make a wish."

"Happiness Is A Rich Uncle":

Alice: "This picture must be 15 years old."

Ralph: "Yeah. I seem to remember that dress."

Alice: "You should. I wore it yesterday."

"Happiness Is A Rich Uncle":

Alice: "You are going to say: `Uncle Howard: My favorite uncle. Alice & I think about you all the time. You are always in our hearts.'"

Ralph: "Don't worry."

(The butler comes in and Ralph thinks it is Uncle Howard.)

Ralph: "Uncle Howard: My favorite uncle. Alice & I think about you all the time. You are always in our hearts."