View Full Version : Moviefone's Top 25 Worst Blockbusters Ever


JamesG
08-20-2009, 04:59 AM
We crunched the box office receipts and weighed them against our esteemed assessments, and what we've come up with is a list of the most profitable movies that aren't worth the celluloid they were printed on -- or at least the millions they earned at the box office. (Minimum take to make our list: $100 mil.) Looking for some themes? Start with sequels, superheroes and scientific inaccuracy ... -- By Adam Duerson




25. Armageddon (1998)

Nothing in this appropriately dubbed disaster pic makes anything close to scientific sense, right down to the plan to divert a Texas-sized asteroid by digging a hole in it and blowing it up. And when we finally got over our wasted 10 bucks, there was Steven Tyler moaning the movie's theme, 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing,' on the radio for the next six months. Roger Ebert put it best: "No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out."

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 40%
• Box Office Gross: $201 million




24. Bad Boys II (2003)

The first chapter in this urbanized buddy cop story was far from perfect, watchable mostly due to the undeniable charm and chemistry of its fast-talking leads, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. But it's a masterpiece compared to the follow-up, which came a highly unnecessary eight years later. Overblown, under-funny and Michael Bay-ed beyond belief (one scene involving a car chase that mows down half of a third-world village is particularly repulsive), it's 'Bad' alright. And not meaning good.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 23%
• Box Office Gross: $138 million




23. Wild Hogs (2007)

You can easily picture the get-together, perhaps at a BBQ, where Tim Allen convinced John Travolta, William H. Macy and Martin Lawrence (surely the easiest sell) to come over to the dark side of "make-a-quick-buck" filmmaking. Pile on top of that foundation a midlife-crisis theme, motorcycles, lots of leather and some tasteless homophobia jokes and there you have all the makings of a ... "make-a-quick-buck" flick.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 14%
• Box Office Gross: $168 million




22. Spider Man 3 (2007)

... But part 3 could have been sooo good! The lead actors were back, as was director Sam Raimi, with two of the coolest Spidey villains and a $258 million budget to blow through. Easy peasy, right? Raimi messed that all up with questionable casting -- spindly Topher Grace as Venom -- and by heaping on a third antagonist (an overacting James Franco) plus equal amounts of lovey dovey drama, over-the-top humor and, most grievously, an evil Peter Parker cool-catting down the street (this is how a splatter-horror guru depicts "dark"?).

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 62%
• Box Office Gross: $336 million




21. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Clearly somebody at 20th Century Fox doesn't get the allure of Wolverine. He's mysterious; a loner. And that's the way we like it. An origins story about the ornery cigar chomper was the last thing any self-respecting X-Men fan ever asked for. But there it was ... And there it went, disappearing from screens while barely recouping its expenses. Just to prove Hollywood doesn't learn its lesson, the same outfit is planning a spin-off featuring Deadpool, who can't talk and doesn't have a head.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 36%
• Box Office Gross: $179 million




20. Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

Forever to be known as "the worse of two mall-cop-themed comedies to be released in the spring of 2009" -- and that's no small feat considering how awful Seth Rogen's Observe and Report(aka the competition) turned out. It's tough to stomach the constant potshots at the fat, the stupid and the middle class, but it's tougher to stomach this simple reality: Kevin James has found his niche. And considering the $180 million box office take, he ain't going away.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 34%
• Box Office Gross: $146 million




19. Planet of the Apes (2001)

We'll give Tim Burton this much: he found the modern equivalent of Charlton Heston in Mark Wahlberg, all snarl and over-emoting. Alas, Burton's remake of the 1968 classic was bogged down in overwrought dialogue and laughable inside jokes, whereas the superior original shined with sparse dialogue and a straight face. To top it off, the climax made no sense at all. Quoth Tim Roth, who co-starred: "I have seen it twice and I don't understand anything."

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 45%
• Box Office Gross: $180 million




18. The Mummy Returns (2001)

Classic case of the sequel that returns all of its stars but none of the charm. Too much backstory -- here revolving around the Scorpion King, played by the Rock in his first major role -- and too many special-effects pieces leave little time for the Indiana Jones-y banter that was so endearing in The Mummy. We might have included the spin-off Scorpion King on this list, but it didn't make enough money ... burn.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 47%
• Box Office Gross: $202 million




17. Click (2006)

Comparisons to It's a Wonderful Life and Back to the Future are tempting, but that would be giving Click -- and Sandler, who's at it again, acting like a 15-year-old manchild -- too much credit. There's a running joke in the new Judd Apatow film Funny People that pokes fun at some of Sandler's more implausible, family-friendly sell-out comedies, and this one had to have provided great inspiration.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 31%
• Box Office Gross: $137 million




16. Patch Adams (1998)

Ever tried to put your finger on exactly what bothered you about Robin Williams? Patch Adams has all the answers. Williams puts on an exhibition in the gonzo manic expression that we're so used to from him, but here he doesn't have crass impersonations or filthy wisecracks to hold him up. Of course, a by-the-books script, about a real-life "laughter is the best medicine" believer doesn't help. Even the true Patch Adams saw this one for what it is: "a loathsome film."

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 24%
• Box Office Gross: $135 million




15. The Da Vinci Code (2006)

Scientific proof that a page-turner does not a Hollywood thriller make. Anyone who'd read Dan Brown's book had to figure a movie version would miss out on some of the finer points, especially the informative historic passages. Sure enough, Ron Howard produced a simplified version of Brown's rich thriller with twists and turns that often lacked explanation. Of course, you'd have to get past Tom Hanks' distracting mullet to even notice any of that.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 24%
• Box Office Gross: $217 million




14. Ghost Rider (2007)

There was a time when Nicolas Cage fixated on playing Superman. Having failed that, presumably, he opted for the next available unfilmed hero -- which happened to fall way down the spandex totem pole. Wayyy down. Besides obscurity, other contributing factors in Ghost Rider's netting only $5 million on its bloated $110 million budget include the fact that Cage was permitted to pen some of his own -- incredibly hellacious -- dialogue.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 27%
• Box Office Gross: $115 million




13. The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

Roland Emmerich's got a thing for destroying landmarks, so he was going to find a way to take out the Hollywood sign with a tornado and bury the Statue of Liberty in snow in the same movie eventually -- rules of nature be damned. The resulting, completely implausible movie, which cheaply played off all of our global-warming concerns, is "to climate science as Frankenstein is to heart transplant surgery," to quote one unamused Duke University paleoclimatologist.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 45%
• Box Office Gross: $186 million




12. Daredevil (2003)

If you could pinpoint America's Ben Affleck Over-saturation Moment, it's somewhere around the time of this movie. The same could be said about superhero pictures, as well. At the end of the day, few people knew enough about the C-list Marvel superhero, whose blindness Affleck played out awkwardly, to care. Yet that didn't stop the studio from greenlighting an even more mind-numbing spin-off, Elektra.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 44%
• Box Office Gross: $102 million




11. Scooby-Doo (2002)

Major points for discovering Matthew Lillard's lone role in this universe, as the comic Dane's knuckleheaded sidekick. Other than that, there's little to see here. In catering to a younger audience screenwriters blew pretty much every opportunity to riff on our Scooby speculations, like Velma's sexual orientation, Fred and Daphne's love life, and most obviously, Scooby and Shaggy's fixation with a certain herb. Instead we got fart jokes. Lots of fart jokes.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 28%
• Box Office Gross: $153 million




10. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Face it people, we've created a monster. Following a strong positive reaction to his 2007 live-action franchise launcher, director Michael Bay went buck wild on the follow-up, piling on more explosions, more uncomfortable stereotyping, more leg-humping and more fights. (Can you even tell the robots apart when they tussle? We can't.) As if plot ever mattered, part 2's storyline somehow makes even less sense than the first movie's.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 20%
• Box Office Gross: $395 million




9. Fantastic Four (2005)

Technically this was the second crack at a Fantastic Four franchise, and this take was intended to be something like X-Men for families; that much was made clear when director Tim Story (Barbershop, Taxi) was hired. But it's hard to imagine that parents took anything away from this one, which largely ignores Dr. Doom, one of the coolest Marvel villains ever, in lieu of more internal conflicts. Flame on? Hardly. More like flame out.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 26%
• Box Office Gross: $154 million




8. Godzilla (1998)

That this, the 29th Godzilla movie, came out almost exactly a year after The Lost World: Jurassic Park, with its own dinosaurs-run-amok-on-mainland plotline, can only account for so much of our disappointment. Roland Emmerich's remake of the Japanese classic fixated too much on inside jokes (a mayor named Ebert) and on cramming in every single New York landmark. But ultimately, yes, the baby Godzilla attack, which ripped off JP's raptors, is our main beef.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 26%
• Box Office Gross: $136 million




7. Wild Wild West (1999)

An exercise in the power of word of mouth: This stinker raked in $50 million in week one, but bad buzz (Entertainment Weekly called it "a noisy, joyless, bizarrely static fiasco") turned off audiences and the pic barely doubled its total in the next three months. Star Will Smith later apologized for the film, which remade a 1960s Robert Conrad TV series, saying, "I made a mistake on Wild Wild West ... When there's a Fresh Prince movie, I hope I'm so far buried under something."

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 21%
• Box Office Gross: $113 million




6. Van Helsing (2004)

Picture James Bond as a 19th-century monster slayer who encounters every single one of his foes -- Mr. Hyde, Frankenstein's monster, the Wolfman, Dracula and his brides -- in the span of one movie, and there you have Van Helsing, a ramped-up special-effects disaster of the "more! more! more!" energy drink generation. Sorry to say director Stephen Sommers blows his wad with action sequence after action sequence. Scary bad stuff.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 22%
• Box Office Gross: $120 million




5. The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

One thing you can say about those Wachowski brothers, they sure know how to time their movies. After giving us four years to digest how bloody brilliant part 1 was, they crammed two sequels together, not giving us a moment to ponder how bad part 2 (Reloaded) actually was. This one, part 3, got saddled with delivering a disappointing ending that lacked ambiguity or any of the philosophical musings of its predecessors.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 37%
• Box Office Gross: $139 million




4. Batman & Robin (1997)

Otherwise known as the Filmmaker's Guide to Ruining a Franchise. Key points: Tack on a sidekick, and then a sidekick to the sidekick (preferably female); heap on villains without regard for infamy, or lack thereof; casting -- try a dartboard; ramp up the camp and, especially, the homoerotic innuendo; and above all: codpieces and rubber, pointy nipples for your superhero.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 12%
• Box Office Gross: $107 million




3. Pearl Harbor (2001)

Michael Bay's first crack at a mega-blockbuster failed on too many levels to count -- but we'll try. Bay's all-star cast failed to pack any punch, the side-story love triangle lacked emotion, the dialogue fell painfully flat and none of the crucial action sequences (which many war veterans complained to be grossly inaccurate) could match the power of, say, the Normandy invasion scene in Saving Private Ryan, which had arrived three years earlier.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 25%
• Box Office Gross: $198 million




2. The Cat in the Hat (2003)

Who was this one was supposed to appeal to? Kids were scared of Mike Myers' freaky cat makeup and probably didn't get that he was just doing Austin Powers -- or, more accurately, Jim Carrey -- in a fur suit. Parents, meanwhile, were turned off by all of the fart and belch jokes, and they recoiled at the mere presence of go-to moppets Spencer Breslin (Two and a Half Men) and Dakota Fanning (every cute movie ever).

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 12%
• Box Office Gross: $101 million




1. Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace (1999)

Be honest: George Lucas could have delivered a three-hour documentary on the mating habits of dung beetles and you still would have attended the first new Star Wars movie since 1983. (In reality, could The Phantom Menace have been much worse?) Among Lucas' more egregious offenses were the jive-talking Jar-Jar Binks, a goofier Yoda and child actor Jake Lloyd (as baby Vader) who's been pleasantly AWOL ever since.

• Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 63%
• Box Office Gross: $431 million


http://www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/2009/08/17/worst-blockbusters-5-1

comedyfreak
08-20-2009, 05:52 AM
They don't know what they're talking about, some of these don't belong on the list.

JamesG
08-20-2009, 10:52 AM
They don't know what they're talking about, some of these don't belong on the list.

What movies do you think should not have been included?

dakert
08-20-2009, 12:03 PM
I have seen 3 of these movies. POTA, D V Code and Mummy Returns and I have to agree they werent very good.

browneyes106
08-20-2009, 03:01 PM
I agree with a lot of this list. The only movie I haven't seen is Paul Blart: Mall Cop. One of my friends saw it and also saw Observe and Report. He said Observe and Report was a little bit better because of the acting.

Schmoopie
08-21-2009, 04:59 AM
I haven't seen any of these except The Davinci Code, which I only rented for Tom Hanks. Didn't understand any of it, had no desire to read the book. I think I fast-foreworded to Hanks' parts and then returned it. Bor-ring!

Actually I did see a little of Pearl Harbor, and it was okay, but nothing special.

I do agree with a lot of those movies though, since none of them I would have any desire to see.

JamesG
08-21-2009, 04:32 PM
Ok, here is my rundown of this list:

25. Armageddon (1998)

This one I liked upon original release. Later years I came to realize how implausible this movie is. It still is a fun movie just not to be taken seriously. Today I choose Deep Impact (the better "Asteroid Film") over this one.




24. Bad Boys II (2003)

I didn't see this one. I saw the original film but it didn't appeal to me so I never bothered with the sequel.




23. Wild Hogs (2007)

Didn't see it.




22. Spider Man 3 (2007)

My least favorite of the "Spidy" films. Too many villains and I wasn't into the Kirsten Dunst romance. Only reason I own it is because my PS3 came with a Blu-ray copy.




21. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

I thought it was alright.




20. Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

Didn't see it. I picked Observe and Report instead.




19. Planet of the Apes (2001)

It had a great cast but the movie didn't work. Unnecessary remake.




18. The Mummy Returns (2001)

Compared to Tomb of the Dragon Emperor this was a masterpiece.




17. Click (2006)

In my view it was one of Sandler's mediocre movies. Not bad but not great either.




16. Patch Adams (1998)

I haven't seen this one in years. I remember liking it when I first saw it. I guess I might have to watch this again.




15. The Da Vinci Code (2006)

I have to say that I enjoyed this one; as well as the book. If you could get past Hank's horrible hair this is not a bad movie and it's way better than Angels & Demons.




14. Ghost Rider (2007)

ugh...




13. The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

Typical disaster flick. Really not much else to say.




12. Daredevil (2003)

The only thing that made the movie was Collin Farrell as "Bullseye". He is the reason to watch this. Other than that it wasn't all that great.




11. Scooby-Doo (2002)

Didn't see it or the sequel.




10. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Didn't get to see it yet but I did see the first one.




9. Fantastic Four (2005)

I liked the second one, Silver Surfer, over this one. I'm interested to see how the reboot project is going to go.




8. Godzilla (1998)

Liked it upon original release but now I see it as a Jurassic Park rip-off.




7. Wild Wild West (1999)

Since at the time I was forced to see this one (I had a deal with a friend to that I would see this if he went with me to the 2nd Austin Powers) I didn't like it then and I still don't.




6. Van Helsing (2004)

Nothing significant about this one at all.




5. The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Despite how popular this franchise is I really am not much of a Matrix fan. I've seen all three films but they really don't stick out for me. I will say my favorite one is the 1999 original.




4. Batman & Robin (1997)

Saw this in the theater upon original release and at the time I found it funny. Now I see it for the crap that it is.




3. Pearl Harbor (2001)

Not one of my favorite war films.




2. The Cat in the Hat (2003)

Didn't see it. Looks like to me they tried to do another Grinch but this one didn't quite pan out too well.




1. Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace (1999)

My least favorite of the new trilogy (fav. being "Revenge") I could do without Jar-Jar, the pod racing, Jake Lloyd... this one really wasn't great. The one thing I did like was Ray Park as "Darth Maul". The final light-saber battle with Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, and Ray Park was great. To me that was the best thing about this one.

TJL
08-21-2009, 04:58 PM
Some of the movies aren't that bad. Godzilla and The Mummy Returns are fun to watch.

Needless to say i disagree with thier assesment of The Phantom Menace.
It's been ten years online movie critics. Let it go! Let it go!

Anyhoo, the one name that pops up on his list (big shocker) is Michael Bay. The cinematic crapola he has heaped upon us has been criminal!

;)