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I've seen you speak about him before and it seems like he and his friendship are important to you. If he's treating you normally, I would suggest doing the same for now, but if he's unpredictable as you stated, maybe don't take it for granted that he's completely got over the argument.

Sarah, I see your friendship with this guy playing out JUST like the one I went though - that has since long ended. It ended on a very bad note, in case you were wondering. It wasn't OMGPHYSICALLYABUSIVE but it was still abusive. I didn't need that **** anymore, and you're a great person who can do so much for yourself. You don't need that taking up space in your life either.

I would cut my own losses right now if I were you. It's just too much trouble, hurt and heartache to even continue with this.

I'm not going to lie to you - if you decide to sever this friendship for good (and I strongly suggest you do) - it'll hurt like a mother****ing bitch for a while... that's the grieving part of losing a friendship/relationship. But in the end, you'll be a much better person for it. Save yourself the trouble and RUN when you still have the chance. Otherwise, it's going to end horribly like mine did, with both parties wishing the other was dead.

I just have two words to say about this: STOP DANCING.

If you two can't be up front and honest with each other about the things that are eroding your friendship, it's best that you end it now. You'll both be upset and angry if it comes to that, but in the long run you'll both be better for it and it'll be one less hassle for both of you.

Have you and your friend been having a lot of problems, Sarah? Is it common for the two of you to argue and/or to distrust one another?

I just have two words to say about this: STOP DANCING.

If you two can't be up front and honest with each other about the things that are eroding your friendship, it's best that you end it now. You'll both be upset and angry if it comes to that, but in the long run you'll both be better for it and it'll be one less hassle for both of you.

I very strongly agree with Joni here, Sarah. If honesty is an issue, the rest of the friendship seems to crumble beneath it. But in the end, only you can make the decision on how you treat your friends, and how your friends treat you for that matter.

I just have two words to say about this: STOP DANCING.

If you two can't be up front and honest with each other about the things that are eroding your friendship, it's best that you end it now. You'll both be upset and angry if it comes to that, but in the long run you'll both be better for it and it'll be one less hassle for both of you.
Pretty much what I was saying in my post. So very true. :nod:

I'm trying not to judge because, hell, I was in a similar situation. I'm just going to make some more observations based on what I've seen from you, plus my own experiences, though.

You've posted here about how he says he loves you... I have never bought into that. If he *really* loved you, he would have never married that chick. That just makes no sense. If two people are madly in love with each other, they don't go out and marry someone else. :crazy:

Also, they would not be hurtling degrading remarks on a regular basis to make the other party end up feeling like genuine ****. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. And shouldn't work like that. Seriously, Sarah, you don't need or deserve that in a friendship/relationship.

Think about it... I mean REALLY give this some thought. I'm sure you've thought about getting the hell out of this many times before. I know I did in my situation. I waited until it resulted in an extremely nasty blowup. I don't want that to happen to you. You'll find that you feel a million times better without the stress. I'd hate to see anything bad happening to you if you let this go on any further, Sarah. :(

...and if you ever need to talk, you have my phone #. I'm working everyday until Monday morning, but I'll be around. :)

Is this the guy who's had you spinning your wheels for years now? If so, you have my opinion on him. If not, maybe just let it be, since as you as you say, he's behaving normally. I would let him know that he hurt you, whether he cares or not.

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allison, thanks for the in-depth responses. i understand where you're coming from and i realize that some of his behavior isn't healthy for me. i really think he loves me, but he's really out there about how he deals with things.

I'm not trying to insult him or say he has some kind of mental disorder or anything, but has he ever considered therapy or counselling?

I know it isn't for everyone, but has he ever considered trying it?

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