Ozzy Osbourne is sharing his wild rock life with the world - he's writing an autobiography. The former Black Sabbath star-turned-reality TV personality promises the memoir will be packed with astonishing tales of excess.

In a statement Osbourne, 60, says, "It haunts me, all this crazy stuff. I took lethal combinations of booze and drugs for 30 f---ing years. I survived a direct hit by a plane, suicidal overdoses, STDs. I have been accused of attempted murder. Then I almost died while riding over a bump on a quad bike at f---ing two miles per hour.

"People ask me how come I'm still alive, and I don't know what to say."

The book will his store shelves in October.

http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2009/07/22/ozzy_writing_autobiography_1

Ozzy will not only need a ghostwriter, but someone else to actually remember this stuff for him.

"Sharon! I can't write no f***in' more! Me pens run out of f***in' ink!"

Yeah, how much of his life does he actually remember?? :eek:

Yeah, how much of his life does he actually remember?? :eek:

(Ozzy mutters something unintelligible in reply).

There you go.

I hope they let him read it for the audiobook.

;)

I hope they let him read it for the audiobook.

;)

Too bad audiobooks can't have subtitles.

Or maybe they can have a translator.

I hope they let him read it for the audiobook.

;)
That would be a nightmare. :eek: :rofl:

Too bad audiobooks can't have subtitles.

Or maybe they can have a translator.
Where are the Berlitz people when you really need them?? :lol:

Where are the Berlitz people when you really need them?? :lol:

Staying as far away from this project as possible.

Staying as far away from this project as possible.
I don't blame them. :eek: :lol:

Some PHD is going to win a nobel peace prize someday when he or she invents the "Universal Ozzy Translator."

You watch. It'll happen.;)