"A Weighty Problem Part 1":

Fred: "You will have to eat as much to help you stay alive Ralph."

Ed: "Even that will be too much."

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

Ralph: "Why your sister married that loud blowhard, I will never know."

Alice: "She did so because you were already married."

"A Promotion Part 1":

Ralph: "A derrick can't me out of this chair."

Alice: "A good big one might be able to."

"Lawsuit" (Color):

Ralph: "I am trying to put some weight on my broken leg."

Ed: "You are just the boy that could do it."

"The Deciding Vote":

Ed: "I wish Trixie could make icing that tastes as good as this."

Alice: "Icing? Ed, that is starch."

Ed: "It is?"

(Ed tastes it again.)

Ed: "I still wish that Trixie would make icing that tastes as good as this."

"Something Fishy":

Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?"

Alice: "15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber."

"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Ed: "It's not like I don't want you to lend me the money. It is what you don't do with it."

Ralph: "What?"

Ed: "You don't pay me back."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ralph: "Since I found out that I am Taurus The Bull, I have become a new man."

Alice: "You may be a new man, but it's the same old bull."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Ralph: "The theater has been in me all my life."

Alice: "Yeah, I knew that that wasn't your stomach. It was the balcony."