Frank Gannucci
07-17-2009, 09:13 AM
(American Life TV):
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
All color episodes are one hour.
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.
Mon. July 20, 2009 2a #27 (aka #180) – “To Whomever It May Concern”: Ralph, told to turn in his bus driver's uniform, dashes off a scathing letter to his boss, only to realize he was not being fired but promoted to traffic manager. He retrieves the letter, and then mails it again by mistake. His boss receives the letter, but has no one to blame, since it is unsigned. Then Norton stops by the boss' office to plead for another chance for his pal...and Ralph's professional aspirations take another nose dive.
3a #28 (aka #181) – “Sleepy Time Gal”: Ralph meets a hypnotist, the Great Fatchoomara, at the Raccoon Lodge, and persuades him to put Alice in a trance. That way, she will have to show Ralph where she hides her emergency cash. Unfortunately for Ralph, Alice overhears his scheme and substitutes a note for the money. He doesn't realize until too late, on a train to the Miami Beach Raccoons' Annual Convention, that Alice was wise to him all along.
Tue. July 21, 2009 2a #10 (aka #162) – “Run Santa Run”: Ralph doesn't know that Alice has taken in knitting to pay for his Christmas present, so when he discovers baby things in the apartment he assumes Alice is pregnant. He takes on a job as a sidewalk Santa with Norton as his helper. They are both arrested as operatives in a bookmaking operation.
Wed. July 22, 2009 2a #11 (aka #163) - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph.
Thu. July 23, 2009 2a #12 (aka #164) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony.
Fri. July 24, 2009 2a #13 (aka #165) – “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persuades Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.
Sat. July 25, 2009 2a #14 (aka #166) – “Life Upon The Wicked Stage”: Ralph pairs up with Ed and Alice pairs up with Trixie to enter a talent contest. Alice and Trixie win first place and Alice uses her winnings to buy Ralph the expensive fishing gear he's had his eyes on.
Sun. July 26, 2009 2a #29 (aka #182) – “Boy Next Door”: Alice, planning a surprise birthday party for Ralph, borrows a cookbook recipe from Trixie. Ralph, discovering the cookbook, finds in it an old love letter written by Ed. He concludes that Ed and Alice are lovers and takes the appropriate actions: following them and telling Trixie. But Trixie just laughs at Ralph, and then she tells him the truth.
3a #30 (aka #183) – “Follow The Boys”: When the wives complain that their husbands don't fuss over them anymore, Ralph and Ed come up with a compromise: one night a week will be "boys' night out," the other nights they will spend with Alice and Trixie. But this is just another scheme that backfires on Ralph, who is planning to wear out the wives on the first night, but overcomes himself with exhaustion instead.
Mon. July 27, 2009 2a #38 (aka #191) – “Play It Again Norton”: The Honeymooners wreck havoc on a cross-country tour. Our two willing but not-so-able boobs (Ralph & Ed) enter a song contest sponsored by movie star Worthington Kenmore (played by Paul Lynde). The prize: $25,000 and a Hollywood trip. The problem: entrants must be under 18.
3a #39 (aka #192) – “Ralph Goes Hollywood”: Bing Crosby, Maureen O'Hara and Bert Parks are the guests as the Honeymooners head for Hollywood to claim their songwriting prize. High jinks include a stay at Maureen's mansion, expense-account living and Ralph's plan to throw a party for Bing. (The role of the "reporter" is played by George Petrie.)
Tue. July 28, 2009 2a #15 – “Rafitti, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme.
Wed. July 29, 2009 #16 (aka #169) – “Ralph Kramden Presents”: Ralph is asked to invite his celebrity friend that he always brags about, Jackie Gleason, to the annual Raccoons dance. In desperation, Ralph & Ed go over to the hotel that Gleason is staying to try to get him to come. Ralph gets to speak to Carney and Ed gets to speak to Gleason but in the confusion, nobody is invited to the dance. Alice promises Gleason the recipe for her anchovy pizza and he shows up at the dance.
Thu. July 30, 2009 2a #17 (aka #170) – “Flushing Ho”: The Kramdens and Nortons, unable to make ends meet around tax time, decide to move to a large two-bedroom apartment in Flushing and split all expenses. The plan fails when Ralph complains of a dwindling food supply and insufficient time in the bathroom, so they all pack up and move back to Chauncey Street.
Fri. July 31, 2009 2a #18 (aka #171) – “Sees All, Knows All”: A Coney Island fortune teller tells Ralph that he is going to commit a murder within a week. Ralph wants Alice to move in with her mother till t he week passes but Alice refuses. Ralph moves in with Ed and gets so exasperated at him that he nearly kills him. In the end, Ralph manages to get himself arrested for safety by assaulting a police officer.
Sat Aug. 1, 2009 2a #19 (aka #172) – “Be It Ever So Humble”: Rather than pay a $5 rent increase, Ralph buys a duplex in the country and takes the Nortons as his tenants.He forces them to sign a 99-year lease. But he is a negligent superintendent, and the Nortons attempt to break the lease with a 3:00 A.M. party and a firecracker in Ralph's fireplace.
Sun. Aug. 2, 2009 2a #40 (aka #193) – “The Mexican Hat Trick”: Carol Lawrence and the Baja Marimba Band guests as the Honeymooners head for colorful Mexico. Mix-ups include a rendezvous between the alluring El Lobo (Carol) and Ralph; a run-in with the bandits Jenkins (Jesse White) and Pedro (Phil Leeds); and the kidnapping of Alice and Trixie.
3a #41 (aka #194) – “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”: Joining the Honeymooners: Oscar winner George Chakiris ("A Chorus Line"). A Hollywood shopping spree turns chaotic when shoplifter Mousey the Dip (George) uses Alice as his unwitting accomplice.
(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Mon. July 20, 2009 1a #020 (aka #111) - "Young At Heart": Ralph wants to prove to Alice that he's still young at heart by learning dances like the Big Apple and the Suzie Q., which prompts Norton to ask: "How can anyone so round be so square?" But he's still determined, so the Kramdens and the Nortons decide to make a night of it by going roller-skating. Ralph on wheels at the rink makes for one of the series' classic scenes. Another has Norton teaching Ralph how to do the Hucklebuck.
Mon. July 27, 2009 1a #67 (aka #51) – “Cottage for Sale (Part One)”: The Kramdens and the Nortons want to buy a summer cottage, but it's too expensive. The seller convinces them that by removing a few luxuries from the cottage, they can afford it. Ralph and Norton immediately accept the offer.
1:30a #68 – “Cottage for Sale (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norto n soon find out that the cottage they bought is not the one they got. When Alice and Trixie refuse to help fix it up, Ralph and Norton try to sell the cottage.
(WGN America) & (WGN HD [aka WGN America HD] (Not WGN's Chicago feed):
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
All episodes on WGN America are in CC.
Mon. July 20, 2009 1a #026 (aka #117) - "Young Man With A Horn": The discovery of his old cornet and an unexpected visit by a self-made millionaire prompt Ralph to wonder why he hasn't achieved more success and hit the "high note" in his life. As a result, he decides to make a list of his good points and do something to correct his bad ones.
1:30a #027 (aka #118) - “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka "Head of The House"): In the hilarious "Head of the House" (originally telecast March 31, 1956), Ralph marks his "emancipation" as king of his castle by sitting down with Norton to finish a bottle of wine that is "a little strong but good." Their first toast, Ralph says, is "to my wife, who has finally found her place." Actually, what Alice found was a bottle of grape juice, which she substituted for the wine. When the men get plastered and pass out, Trixie and Alice pour their own drinks and make their own toasts. "I give you our husbands," says Trixie. "You can have 'em," says Alice. The wine-and-grape-juice scene, Art Carney recalled, was one of his favorites. "We really were laughing at each other...because we were supposed to be laughing...crocked and everything. Funny scene."
Mon. July 27, 2009 1a #028 (aka #119) - "The Worry Wart": Ralph's nerves are taxed when he gets a letter requesting his presence at the IRS office. Alice tries to calm him by reminding him that many people have their returns reviewed. "You're darn right," Norton agrees. "The jails are full of them." Norton, in fact, is helping Ralph review the business deductions he made on his returns and then lends his buddy moral support by accompanying him to the IRS office.
1:30a #029 (aka #120) - "Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): While leaving the pool hall, Ralph witnesses a bank robbery and takes a bullet through his hat. That's reason enough for him to believe that the thugs will come gunning for him, so Norton tells his on-edge pal to just relax and watch some TV. "What's playing tonight?" Ralph asks. Norton's reply: "Dead Men Tell No Tales." Bibbo: Frank Marth. Danny: George Petrie.
Credit goes to the old honeymooners.net, tvguide.com, tvland.com, wgnamerica.com, wikipedia.org and wpix.com.
"Better Living Through TV":
Ralph: "All right Alice, don't give me the money and if you don't, I am walking out that door! And once I walk out that door it is for good! I will never come back in here again! I will never set foot in this building once I walk out that door! You're going to be awful lonesome around here all by yourself, Alice! Just remember; you can't put your arms around a memory!"
Alice: "I can't even put my arms around you!"
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
(Ralph picks up the jacket that Ed put the hot iron on. The jacket is now burned.)
Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?"
Ed: "No, that's my idea of a burn."
"Stars Over Flatbush":
Alice: "You mean that you are going to call your boss at 11:30 Friday night?"
Ralph: "Yes."
Alice: "Ralph, that's crazy. He might be fast asleep."
Ralph: "That's his tough luck."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ralph is trying to butter Alice up so he can get the money from her so he could go on the Racoon Convention.)
Ralph: "That was a nice dinner that you made me."
Alice: "You liked the cold cuts."
(A slight pause.)
Ralph: "My, isn't she lovely."
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 1":
Ralph: "I'm going to take a bath."
Aunt Ethel: "Would you mind if I brushed my teeth first?"
Ralph: "Give them to me and I'll do them for you."
"Goodnight Sweet Prince":
Alice: "Ed, don't you have to go to work?"
Ed: "There not too concerned about punctuality down in the sewer Alice. As a matter of fact, they think that they are lucky if we show up at all."
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
Alice: "Tell Ed how you saved Jackie Gleason's life."
Ralph: "Well, I was driving my bus. He was ready to cross the street by a traffic light and I stopped for at that traffic light because of the red light."
(Ralph looks around.)
Ralph: "Well, if I gone through the light, I may have hit him."
Ed: "You didn't save him. You saved your bus."
"King of The Castle":
Alice: "Trixie & Ed had a fight."
Ralph: "What do you want me to do, take on the winner?"
"A Matter of Record":
Tommy: "How about it Mr. Kramden? Do you think you can cover first base?"
Ed: "My boy, you are looking at a man that can cover the infield, outfield and all four corners of the bleachers."
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
All color episodes are one hour.
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.
Mon. July 20, 2009 2a #27 (aka #180) – “To Whomever It May Concern”: Ralph, told to turn in his bus driver's uniform, dashes off a scathing letter to his boss, only to realize he was not being fired but promoted to traffic manager. He retrieves the letter, and then mails it again by mistake. His boss receives the letter, but has no one to blame, since it is unsigned. Then Norton stops by the boss' office to plead for another chance for his pal...and Ralph's professional aspirations take another nose dive.
3a #28 (aka #181) – “Sleepy Time Gal”: Ralph meets a hypnotist, the Great Fatchoomara, at the Raccoon Lodge, and persuades him to put Alice in a trance. That way, she will have to show Ralph where she hides her emergency cash. Unfortunately for Ralph, Alice overhears his scheme and substitutes a note for the money. He doesn't realize until too late, on a train to the Miami Beach Raccoons' Annual Convention, that Alice was wise to him all along.
Tue. July 21, 2009 2a #10 (aka #162) – “Run Santa Run”: Ralph doesn't know that Alice has taken in knitting to pay for his Christmas present, so when he discovers baby things in the apartment he assumes Alice is pregnant. He takes on a job as a sidewalk Santa with Norton as his helper. They are both arrested as operatives in a bookmaking operation.
Wed. July 22, 2009 2a #11 (aka #163) - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph.
Thu. July 23, 2009 2a #12 (aka #164) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony.
Fri. July 24, 2009 2a #13 (aka #165) – “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persuades Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.
Sat. July 25, 2009 2a #14 (aka #166) – “Life Upon The Wicked Stage”: Ralph pairs up with Ed and Alice pairs up with Trixie to enter a talent contest. Alice and Trixie win first place and Alice uses her winnings to buy Ralph the expensive fishing gear he's had his eyes on.
Sun. July 26, 2009 2a #29 (aka #182) – “Boy Next Door”: Alice, planning a surprise birthday party for Ralph, borrows a cookbook recipe from Trixie. Ralph, discovering the cookbook, finds in it an old love letter written by Ed. He concludes that Ed and Alice are lovers and takes the appropriate actions: following them and telling Trixie. But Trixie just laughs at Ralph, and then she tells him the truth.
3a #30 (aka #183) – “Follow The Boys”: When the wives complain that their husbands don't fuss over them anymore, Ralph and Ed come up with a compromise: one night a week will be "boys' night out," the other nights they will spend with Alice and Trixie. But this is just another scheme that backfires on Ralph, who is planning to wear out the wives on the first night, but overcomes himself with exhaustion instead.
Mon. July 27, 2009 2a #38 (aka #191) – “Play It Again Norton”: The Honeymooners wreck havoc on a cross-country tour. Our two willing but not-so-able boobs (Ralph & Ed) enter a song contest sponsored by movie star Worthington Kenmore (played by Paul Lynde). The prize: $25,000 and a Hollywood trip. The problem: entrants must be under 18.
3a #39 (aka #192) – “Ralph Goes Hollywood”: Bing Crosby, Maureen O'Hara and Bert Parks are the guests as the Honeymooners head for Hollywood to claim their songwriting prize. High jinks include a stay at Maureen's mansion, expense-account living and Ralph's plan to throw a party for Bing. (The role of the "reporter" is played by George Petrie.)
Tue. July 28, 2009 2a #15 – “Rafitti, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme.
Wed. July 29, 2009 #16 (aka #169) – “Ralph Kramden Presents”: Ralph is asked to invite his celebrity friend that he always brags about, Jackie Gleason, to the annual Raccoons dance. In desperation, Ralph & Ed go over to the hotel that Gleason is staying to try to get him to come. Ralph gets to speak to Carney and Ed gets to speak to Gleason but in the confusion, nobody is invited to the dance. Alice promises Gleason the recipe for her anchovy pizza and he shows up at the dance.
Thu. July 30, 2009 2a #17 (aka #170) – “Flushing Ho”: The Kramdens and Nortons, unable to make ends meet around tax time, decide to move to a large two-bedroom apartment in Flushing and split all expenses. The plan fails when Ralph complains of a dwindling food supply and insufficient time in the bathroom, so they all pack up and move back to Chauncey Street.
Fri. July 31, 2009 2a #18 (aka #171) – “Sees All, Knows All”: A Coney Island fortune teller tells Ralph that he is going to commit a murder within a week. Ralph wants Alice to move in with her mother till t he week passes but Alice refuses. Ralph moves in with Ed and gets so exasperated at him that he nearly kills him. In the end, Ralph manages to get himself arrested for safety by assaulting a police officer.
Sat Aug. 1, 2009 2a #19 (aka #172) – “Be It Ever So Humble”: Rather than pay a $5 rent increase, Ralph buys a duplex in the country and takes the Nortons as his tenants.He forces them to sign a 99-year lease. But he is a negligent superintendent, and the Nortons attempt to break the lease with a 3:00 A.M. party and a firecracker in Ralph's fireplace.
Sun. Aug. 2, 2009 2a #40 (aka #193) – “The Mexican Hat Trick”: Carol Lawrence and the Baja Marimba Band guests as the Honeymooners head for colorful Mexico. Mix-ups include a rendezvous between the alluring El Lobo (Carol) and Ralph; a run-in with the bandits Jenkins (Jesse White) and Pedro (Phil Leeds); and the kidnapping of Alice and Trixie.
3a #41 (aka #194) – “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”: Joining the Honeymooners: Oscar winner George Chakiris ("A Chorus Line"). A Hollywood shopping spree turns chaotic when shoplifter Mousey the Dip (George) uses Alice as his unwitting accomplice.
(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Mon. July 20, 2009 1a #020 (aka #111) - "Young At Heart": Ralph wants to prove to Alice that he's still young at heart by learning dances like the Big Apple and the Suzie Q., which prompts Norton to ask: "How can anyone so round be so square?" But he's still determined, so the Kramdens and the Nortons decide to make a night of it by going roller-skating. Ralph on wheels at the rink makes for one of the series' classic scenes. Another has Norton teaching Ralph how to do the Hucklebuck.
Mon. July 27, 2009 1a #67 (aka #51) – “Cottage for Sale (Part One)”: The Kramdens and the Nortons want to buy a summer cottage, but it's too expensive. The seller convinces them that by removing a few luxuries from the cottage, they can afford it. Ralph and Norton immediately accept the offer.
1:30a #68 – “Cottage for Sale (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norto n soon find out that the cottage they bought is not the one they got. When Alice and Trixie refuse to help fix it up, Ralph and Norton try to sell the cottage.
(WGN America) & (WGN HD [aka WGN America HD] (Not WGN's Chicago feed):
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
All episodes on WGN America are in CC.
Mon. July 20, 2009 1a #026 (aka #117) - "Young Man With A Horn": The discovery of his old cornet and an unexpected visit by a self-made millionaire prompt Ralph to wonder why he hasn't achieved more success and hit the "high note" in his life. As a result, he decides to make a list of his good points and do something to correct his bad ones.
1:30a #027 (aka #118) - “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka "Head of The House"): In the hilarious "Head of the House" (originally telecast March 31, 1956), Ralph marks his "emancipation" as king of his castle by sitting down with Norton to finish a bottle of wine that is "a little strong but good." Their first toast, Ralph says, is "to my wife, who has finally found her place." Actually, what Alice found was a bottle of grape juice, which she substituted for the wine. When the men get plastered and pass out, Trixie and Alice pour their own drinks and make their own toasts. "I give you our husbands," says Trixie. "You can have 'em," says Alice. The wine-and-grape-juice scene, Art Carney recalled, was one of his favorites. "We really were laughing at each other...because we were supposed to be laughing...crocked and everything. Funny scene."
Mon. July 27, 2009 1a #028 (aka #119) - "The Worry Wart": Ralph's nerves are taxed when he gets a letter requesting his presence at the IRS office. Alice tries to calm him by reminding him that many people have their returns reviewed. "You're darn right," Norton agrees. "The jails are full of them." Norton, in fact, is helping Ralph review the business deductions he made on his returns and then lends his buddy moral support by accompanying him to the IRS office.
1:30a #029 (aka #120) - "Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"): While leaving the pool hall, Ralph witnesses a bank robbery and takes a bullet through his hat. That's reason enough for him to believe that the thugs will come gunning for him, so Norton tells his on-edge pal to just relax and watch some TV. "What's playing tonight?" Ralph asks. Norton's reply: "Dead Men Tell No Tales." Bibbo: Frank Marth. Danny: George Petrie.
Credit goes to the old honeymooners.net, tvguide.com, tvland.com, wgnamerica.com, wikipedia.org and wpix.com.
"Better Living Through TV":
Ralph: "All right Alice, don't give me the money and if you don't, I am walking out that door! And once I walk out that door it is for good! I will never come back in here again! I will never set foot in this building once I walk out that door! You're going to be awful lonesome around here all by yourself, Alice! Just remember; you can't put your arms around a memory!"
Alice: "I can't even put my arms around you!"
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
(Ralph picks up the jacket that Ed put the hot iron on. The jacket is now burned.)
Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?"
Ed: "No, that's my idea of a burn."
"Stars Over Flatbush":
Alice: "You mean that you are going to call your boss at 11:30 Friday night?"
Ralph: "Yes."
Alice: "Ralph, that's crazy. He might be fast asleep."
Ralph: "That's his tough luck."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ralph is trying to butter Alice up so he can get the money from her so he could go on the Racoon Convention.)
Ralph: "That was a nice dinner that you made me."
Alice: "You liked the cold cuts."
(A slight pause.)
Ralph: "My, isn't she lovely."
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 1":
Ralph: "I'm going to take a bath."
Aunt Ethel: "Would you mind if I brushed my teeth first?"
Ralph: "Give them to me and I'll do them for you."
"Goodnight Sweet Prince":
Alice: "Ed, don't you have to go to work?"
Ed: "There not too concerned about punctuality down in the sewer Alice. As a matter of fact, they think that they are lucky if we show up at all."
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
Alice: "Tell Ed how you saved Jackie Gleason's life."
Ralph: "Well, I was driving my bus. He was ready to cross the street by a traffic light and I stopped for at that traffic light because of the red light."
(Ralph looks around.)
Ralph: "Well, if I gone through the light, I may have hit him."
Ed: "You didn't save him. You saved your bus."
"King of The Castle":
Alice: "Trixie & Ed had a fight."
Ralph: "What do you want me to do, take on the winner?"
"A Matter of Record":
Tommy: "How about it Mr. Kramden? Do you think you can cover first base?"
Ed: "My boy, you are looking at a man that can cover the infield, outfield and all four corners of the bleachers."