"The Prowler":

Ralph: "A prowler? Quick, hide your wristwatch."

Alice: "It's at the jeweler's being repaired."

Ralph: "Every time we need that wristwatch, it's out being repaired."

"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":

Ralph: "I got a tootchache. Why do you think I have this thing (towel wrapped around his head) for?"

Ed: "I thought that you were going to be a bunny rabbit on that TV commercial tomorrow."

"A Dog's Life":

(Ralph & Ed are thinking of a name for the appetizer they think they have discovered after Ralph said that his boss, Mr. Marshall, will help out as far as helping Ralph sell it.)

Ed: "How about Kramden's Delicious Marshall?"

Ralph: "Marshall? What kind of stuff is marshall?"

Ed: "Well, we don't know what this stuff (the name of the food) is. You might as well call it marshall."

"Mama Loves Mambo":

Ed: "Me and Trixie may be moving tomorrow."

Carlos: "Trixie never mentioned it."

Ed: "Trixie doesn't know it yet."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Ralph: "I'm not asking you for the money. The general is telling you to give it to me."

(Alice takes a bowl and puts it on his head and "salutes" him.)

Alice: "Har-har-har."

"Jellybeans":

Ralph: "All I know is when I win the $100, I am going out to buy myself a new pair of shoes, a leather lumbar jacket and before I am finished, you will have a string of pearls."

Alice: "Yeah and if you lose, I will have a string of jellybeans around my neck."

"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":

Ralph: "I'm just steamed at Alice because she thinks that there is nobody stupid enough to offer me a job like an insurance executive."

Ed: "This guy that wants to hire you sounds stupid enough."

"Lawsuit" (Color version):

Ed: "I filed a laswuit once. The lawyers claimed that I didn't even have a case."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "I was working in the sewer and a manhole cover fell on my head."

Ralph: "Why couldn't you win the case?"

Ed: "I couldn't prove it did any damage."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.)

Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami."

Ed: "What's the clue?"

"A Man's Pride":

(Ralph is trying to tell Bill Davis that he has a VERY IMPORTANT job.)

Ralph: "I am in the transportation business."

Bill Davis: "What do you do?"

Ralph: "Oh, I run things."

Bill: "You run things?"

Ed: "Yeah, everyday he's in the driver's seat."