I've had Bulimia for over two years. It's not something that I planned - in fact it's something I still don't quite believe is true. But my doctor has diagnosed me and I suppose I've been ignoring her advice for a year.

I feel I am too fat. I've felt it for a long, long time. I eat a lot of fatty foods and then I - well, my doctor calls it "purge" but I call it "hack" it all up again. The ironic thing is that I've never been as fat as I am now. Bulimia has made me fatter, not thinner - which of course has only made me more depressed.

This is the hardest post I've ever had to make... but you guys have helped me through so much - I'm hoping you'll be able to help me conquer this one. I thought I was doing so much better... but well... I'm not.

Guys, I need you. I know you're a great group and I've been here for a number of years, but this is the hardest thing I've ever had to admit. I hope you'll send me your goodwill, and not judge me negatively for admitting it.

Bullima is a serious illness. I am glad you talked to your doctor about this and hopefully you can get the help you need. It was very brave of you to come here and admit your struggles. I will be sending positive thoughts your way as you battle this illness. :bighug: Hang in there!

Emily, I am very sorry to hear about this. :( I've see a couple of the pictures that you've posted on the boards and you never looked fat to me. You have always looked quite good, a pretty blonde. I would like to wish you the very best of luck in your recovery.

:bighug:

I feel like there was someone else on the board who also had an ED, but I can't remember who right now. ANYWAY! I, too, have seen pics of you and thought you looked just fine. :)

All the best for you as you battle this! Show it who is the boss!

You are a very brave person and that courage will come in handy as you fight this fight. I'll be praying for you.

Emily, I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't know you that well, but you've always seemed to be a wonderful, kind person to me and certainly don't deserve any of this. None of us are here to judge you, but give you our support. Good luck with everything and I hope you're able to get through this soon. :hug:

I'm very sorry to hear this, Emily. You're moving in the right direction by admitting to yourself that you're bulimic. Being under a doctor's care is wise, but not so good if you're ignoring her advice. If you're not seeing a specialist in eating disorders, you should, as it's a very complex disorder, and it takes experts with special training if you're going to overcome this. From what I've read, you have a very supportive family. That's very important. You know we're all here for you. Never forget that.

:bighug:

Emily, I have suffered through anorexia myself and know the despair an eating disorder can bring. If there is ANYTHING I can do for you, sweetie, I'm only a PM away. We all love you!! God bless and keep you through this ordeal. :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

awww im sorry to hear this :( ill be praying for you to get through this :hug:

Emily, I'm so sorry to hear this. Admitting it is a BIG (and courageous) first step. Janice's advice sounds wise (when it comes to sensible it's hard to beat Janice). I know when I've had difficult problems, a support network of others dealing with the same thing has helped me a lot. You're in my prayers--hang in there! Rich

I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you the best and hope you are able to recover. :)

I agree with Janice that admitting it is a big step in the right direction. You can definitely beat this!

Best of luck to you, Emily. You can do it!

I'm sorry about what you are going through. I have known a few people who have dealt with eating disorders. We are here for you and you are in my prayers.

I am so sorry to hear this. Be strong, and it took a lot of courage to admit it. You have my thoughts and prayers :bighug:

I'm very sorry to hear this, Emily. You're moving in the right direction by admitting to yourself that you're bulimic. Being under a doctor's care is wise, but not so good if you're ignoring her advice. If you're not seeing a specialist in eating disorders, you should, as it's a very complex disorder, and it takes experts with special training if you're going to overcome this. From what I've read, you have a very supportive family. That's very important. You know we're all here for you. Never forget that.

:bighug:
That is just what I was going to say.
Liza, you should definitely seek professional help. Do not take it lightly.

A doctor will most likely recommend a sensible diet and exercise to start with.

^Agreed!

I'm really sorry to hear about this, Emily! But I really want to applaud you for having the courage to come out now and say it.. that's the first step to recovery!! You will be in my thoughts and prayers, I promise you that! And if you ever need to talk, I'm right here!

:bighug: Come here.

You've made the first step by admitting that you have a problem and now it's up to you to continue the rest. With the proper support and guidance you will get through it.

It's not going to be an easy experience but know you're not alone. I know you'll make progress.

Emily, as alarming as this is to learn, its a very positive first step that you recognize you have an eating disorder and that you want to conquer it. To me, half of this stuff comes from our own self confidence and the other is from what society has placed on us in regards to body image, especially for women, and one just feeds the other.

I'm so glad that you shared this with us Emily, I'm sure it was very difficult for you to do but we all support you and are here for you and we're going to help you through this.

You have all my prayers, thoughts and love. Please know you are not alone.

We are glad to have you back Welcome Back

Thank you so much for your support, guys - I so much appreciate it! :hug:

It's so hard to admit it - and although you don't see me in the real world, it's a disorder that is very easy to hide. My doctor knows about it, but I kept saying I'll stop and then went right back to it. I'm on the right path though - making drastic changes to my diet and excercising regularly... it's gonna be a long while before I'll be truly myself again -- but I'm headed in the right direction.

I :heart: each of you so much, I knew I could count on you. Thanks for being there for me.

The really sad thing is that ED is getting worse with all the Pro-Ana and Thinspiration* support I see online.


*I hate Fandom_Secrets on LiveJournal for encouraging garbage like this.

Self-hate is the worst thing to have to go through. I know...I want to end it all at least once a day anymore, and a lot of it stems from how much I just hate myself. I wish I could say something wise, but I don't know how to change it either. Simply saying, "You're not fat!" doesn't work...people tell me stuff like that all the time and I don't buy it for a second.

But please know that you aren't fat and you have no reason to hate yourself. You're a very smart lady. Please try not to punish yourself. :) If you feel bad, try a distraction, like a busy hobby or something. Maybe if your mind is not on the bulimia, you can start to fight it.