Frank Gannucci
06-18-2009, 10:25 PM
(Alice's parents are waiting at the Colonade Room.)
Alice's Mom: "What is keeping Alice and that FAT husband of hers? They know that today is Father's Day and you wanted to come here for dinner?"
Alice's Dad: "I hope they arrive here soon...I see them now."
(The Kramdens arrive. Ralph looks mad.)
Alice: "Happy Father's Day Dad."
Alice's Dad: "Hi Alice! I see Ralph is not here with his parents."
Ralph: "I hope you realize that this restaurant is the most expensive restaurant in the world. There is no truck driver that eats here."
Alice's Mom: "Speaking of Dad's day, I wish Ralph you were a father. One day, I want my Alice to say: 'Ma, I am pregnant.' Instead, the only pregnant one around here is you."
Ralph: "Oh, you are a riot."
(Cut to them eating dinner.)
Alice's Dad: "What a Father's Day this has been. I am having fun. I just danced with my wife alongside you two."
Alice's Mom: "I am surprised Ralph was able to dance."
(Ralph gets angrier.)
Ralph: "You know, speaking of Dad's day, I wish I was a father. I would call my son Ralph. My father's name was Ralph. They used to us 'Big' Ralph & 'Little' Ralph."
Alice's Mom: "Which one were you, 'Big' Ralph?"
(Ralph bangs his fist.)
Ralph: "If I had a daughter, I would give her the unique name of Ralphina Kramden."
(They all laugh.)
Ralph: "Father's are a big part of life. I am glad that my Dad was there for me and I am sure all of us are glad too."
All: "Here! Here!"
(They all sing a song about Father's Day.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie Gleason: "How sweet it is."
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "Folks, in honor of Father's Day, I am glad that my adult children are sitted right in the front row. Right in back of Sammy Spear. They all agree that Sammy is wearing a very UNIQUE jacket. All I can say is that jacket won't be in any store around here at all."
(All laugh.)
Jackie: "I want to wish everyone a Happy Father's Day and the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"
"Man In The Blue Suit":
Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely here without you."
Trixie: "Oh Ed, why don't you ever talk to me like that?"
Ed: "I would be very happy to if you only would go away every once and a while."
"A Weighty Problem Part One":
Ralph: "For my height, I am four pounds underweight. It says so in the chart."
Alice: "You must have been looking at a chart for a hippotomus."
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
Alice: "How was the anchovy pizza that I made for you Mr. Gleason?"
Jackie: "I don't know. I ate it so fast, I didn't taste it."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
(Ralph & Alice are in the poolroom. The Nortons come in.)
Ralph: "I didn't know anything escaped from the zoo today."
Ed: "If it was an elephant, I can tell them where to look."
"Stars Over Flatbush":
Ed (reading the astrology book): "'Taurus the Bull seldom loses his temper, shows great wisdow in all financial matters and is extremely attractive to the opposite sex.'"
Ralph: "That is me all right."
"Funny Money":
Ralph: "Junk? Junk Junk? Just watch yourself Alice. This furniture was a wedding present from my grandfather."
Alice: "Yeah to your grandmother."
"The Worry Wart":
Ralph: "The governemnt is investigating me."
Alice: "You are not the first person to be investigated by the government."
Ed: "Yeah, the jails are full of them."
"Better Living Through TV":
Ralph: "I'm going to make a fortune and I'm going to let you in on the deal."
Ed: "Here we go again."
Ralph: "What kind of crack is that?"
Ed: "I'll tell you what kind of crack that was. You come to me before with things like this before. I can't stand to make a fortune again. I'm going broke."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
(Ralph walks in as Alice and Trixie are rehearsing their act for the talent show.)
Alice: "We are rehearsing."
Ralph: "For what, The Bellevue Follies?"
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
All color episodes are one hour.
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.
Mon. June 22, 2009 2a #15 (aka #168) – “Rafitti, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme.
3a #6 (aka #159) – “The Mod Couple” (aka "The Honeymooners in England"): The Kramdens & Nortons appear in a Flakey Wakey commercial on an English TV show. Ralph makes a fool of himself and Ed accidentally overturns a piano. The Kramdens flee London in shame but are invited back because the audience loved the commercial.
Tue. June 23, 2009 2a #39 (aka #192) – “Ralph Goes Hollywood”: Bing Crosby, Maureen O'Hara and Bert Parks are the guests as the Honeymooners head for Hollywood to claim their songwriting prize. High jinks include a stay at Maureen's mansion, expense-account living and Ralph's plan to throw a party for Bing. (The role of the "reporter" is played by George Petrie.)
Wed. June 24, 2009 2a #40 (aka #193) – “The Mexican Hat Trick”: Carol Lawrence and the Baja Marimba Band guests as the Honeymooners head for colorful Mexico. Mix-ups include a rendezvous between the alluring El Lobo (Carol) and Ralph; a run-in with the banditos Jenkins (Jesse White) and Pedro (Phil Leeds); and the kidnapping of Alice and Trixie.
Thu. June 25, 2009 2a #41 (aka #194) – “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”: Joining the Honeymooners: Oscar winner George Chakiris ("A Chorus Line"). A Hollywood shopping spree turns chaotic when shoplifter Mousey the Dip (George) uses Alice as his unwitting accomplice.
Fri. June 26, 2009 2a #42 (aka #195) - “The Honeymoon Is Over”: Mike Douglas guests as the Honeymooners are invited to plug the prize-winning song on Mike's show. And what a show it is: Ralph and Alice have an on-camera tiff that gets everyone into the act.
Sat. June 27, 2009 2a #43 (aka #196) – “Happiness Is a Rich Uncle”: Joey Heatherton guests as the go-go girl sweetheart of Alice's Uncle Howard (David Burns), an 83 year-old millionaire. Suspicious that she's gone-gone over Howard's gold, the Honeymooners decide to put Emily to the test -- with suave Norton as bait.
Sun. June 28, 2009 2a #12 (aka #165) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because=2 0he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony.
3a #7 (aka #160) - "You're in the Picture": Blackmailers fake a hanky-panky photo of Ralph in Madrid, and for once, Alice is jealous.
Mon. June 29, 2009 2a #16 (aka #169) – “Ralph Kramden Presents”: Ralph is asked to invite his celebrity friend that he always brags about, Jackie Gleason, to the annual Raccoons dance. In desperation, Ralph & Ed go over to the hotel that Gleason is staying to try to get him to come. Ralph gets to speak to Carney and Ed gets to speak to Gleason but in the confusion, nobody is invited to the dance. Alice promises Gleason the recipe for her anchovy pizza and he shows up at the dance.
3a #8 (aka #161) - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies.
Tue. June 30, 2009 2a #44 (aka #197) – “Hawaii, Oh! Oh!”: Donald O'Connor guests as a money minded maitre d' as the Honeymooners visit Hawaii. Charlie (Donald) and his bartender (Jeremiah Morris) concoct a phony diet sauce guaranteed to slim down fatties. The missing ingredient: a sucker. Enter rotund Ralph.
Wed. July 1, 2009 2a #45 (aka #198) – “The Sun & Raccoon Capital”: The end of the harmonious Honeymooners quartet may be near. At the Miami convention of the Raccoons, it's election time. Opponents for the office of High Exalted Mystic Ruler? Ralph and Norton!
Thu. July 2, 2009 2a #46 (aka #199) – “The Match Game”: Frances Langford plays the brain behind a computer-match service, as the Honeymooners breeze into the Windy City. Computer-wise, the Norton's match really clicks --but Cupid somehow missed with the Kramdens! Who's at fault, man or machine?
Fri. July 3, 2009 2a #47 (aka #200) – “Double Trouble”: Jackie plays a dual role as the Honeymooners check in at scenic Sun Valley, Idaho. A Kramden look alike is passing some bad checks, and the Honeymooners devise their own disguise to track down the culprit.
Sat. July 4, 2009 2a #49 (aka #202) – “We’re Off To See The Wizard”: The Honeymooners' Mardi Gras celebration turns typically topsy-turvy. A hotel mix-up leads the foursome to Emma (Doro Merande), Norton's very-distant relative. Emma, a phony spiritualist, takes them in -- then in a séance tries to take Ralph in again.
Sun. July 5, 2009 2a #13 (aka #166) – “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persua des Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.
3a #9 (aka #162) - "Petticoat Jungle": The Kramdens & Nortons go on a safari. The men go hunting -- Ralph kills a rabbit, Ed kills an elephant.
(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Mon. June 22, 2009 1a #036 (aka #127) - "Alice & The Blonde": Audrey Meadows said that she "loved" the episode titled "Alice and the Blonde" (originally telecast June 2, 1956), and it's easy to see why. For once, it's Alice who's fuming. It's all because of what happens at the home of one of Ralph's co-workers. Trying to ingratiate himself with Bert Weedemeyer (who Ralph thinks may become the bus company's new general manager), Ralph---with Norton by his side, naturally-heaps compliments on the man's wife, a ditsy platinum blonde who calls her husband "Twinkles." Ralph's fawning and flattery isn't amusing Alice, who'll have her revenge. Rita Weedemeyer: Freda Rosen. Bert: Frank Behrens.
1:30a #60 (aka #57) (CC) - *“Man in the Blue Suit”: Ralph wins big at poker and hides it in an old suit so Alice won't find out how much he has won. Alice gives the suit to charity.
Mon. June 29, 2009 1a #49 (aka #41) (CC) - *“Hot Dog Stand”: Ralph wants to buy a hot dog stand but Alice refuses to give him the money, so he and Norton pose as successful businessmen to get a bank loan.
1:30a #008 (aka #099) - "Pal O' Mine": A great friendship is strained after a ring t hat Norton had planned to give a co-worker winds up stuck on Ralph's finger. The episode concludes with a classic hospital scene that contains a memorable one-word ad-lib by Norton, who's saying good-bye to a doctor. Teddy Oberman: Ned Glass. Doctor: John Seymour. Nurse: Abbie Lewis.
(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed):
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
All episodes on WGN America are in CC.
Sun. June 22, 2009 9p #019 (aka #110) - "Ralph Kramden Inc.": Ralph needs a loan from Norton, so he sells him a share of his future earnings as a corporation---Ralph Kramden, Inc. It's another con job by Ralph, of course, until he learns that an old woman with a $40 million estate died and left him in her will. That's enough for Norton, as an officer in the corporation, to remind Ralph about one "small detail"---that they need to bring a suitcase to the reading of the will to carry home the $40 million.
9:30p #020 (aka #111) - "Young At Heart": Ralph wants to prove to Alice that he's still young at heart by learning dances like the Big Apple and the Suzie Q., which prompts Norton to ask: "How can anyone so round be so square?" But he's still determined, so the Kramdens and the Nortons decide to make a night of it by going roller-skating. Ralph on wheels at the rink makes for one of the series' classic scenes. Another has Norton teaching Ralph how to do the Hucklebuck.
Sun. June 29, 2009 9p #021 (aka #112) - "A Dog's Life": Ralph gets another one of his half-baked ideas after he samples a tasty dish he found in his ice box in "A Dog's Life," which was originally telecast Feb. 18, 1956. Convinced that the unusual cracker-spread will satisfy the public's appetite for a snack that's new and different, Ralph asks his boss, Mr. Marshall, to taste the dish in the hope that he'll bankroll production. Ralph's even cooked up a name for the culinary delight: "KramMar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer." Marshall tries it and likes it, and asks Ralph if the recipe is exclusively his wife's or if Alice's mother helped out. "Anything she'd cook I wouldn't give to a dog," Ralph replies. But Marshall wants some other opinions, so he calls in his assistants for another taste test.
9:30p #022 (aka #113) - "Here Comes The Bride": On the eve of his lodge brother Stanley's marriage to Alice's sister, Ralph---the self-proclaimed "king of [his] castle"---gives his future brother-in-law marital advice. Furious that Stanley has agreed to live with Alice's parents, Ralph instructs him to put his foot down. "I don't want to argue," he tells Ralph, prompting Norton to reply: "If you don't want to argue, what are you getting married for?"
(BIO) & (BIO HD):
Sat. June 27, 2009 11a (CC) : "Bio Classics": "Jackie Gleason" A bio on Jackie.
(WGCU) & (WGCU HD) (Southwest Florida PBS affiliate):
"Pioneers of Television" #001 (CC) "Sitcoms": Sitcoms are featured, including "I Love Lucy," "Make Room for Daddy," "The Honeymooners" and "The Dick Van Dyke Show." Actors Joyce Randolph, Marlo Thomas, Andy Griffith, Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke reminisce. (1 hour)
Date & Time
Sun. June 21, 2009 4p
Sun. June 21, 2009 11p
Sat. June 27, 2009 5:30p
Wed. June 24, 2009 4a (CC) "Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America": "Nerds, Jerks & Oddballs: Would Ya Hit a Guy with Glasses?": Billy Crystal hosts this history of American comedy, which explores the funny business via performances, profiles and interviews. It begins with the comic treasures unearthed by such outsiders as Harold Lloyd and Bob Hope, trailblazing female comic Phyllis Diller, and such zany characters as Andy Kaufman, Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters. Also featured are Cheech and Chong, Woody Allen and the funniest man to ever make balloon animals, Steve Martin. Amy Sedaris narrates. (2 hours)
(WNET) & (WNET HD) (Newark, NJ PBS affiliate):
"Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America": "Breadwinners and Homemakers: Honey, I'm Home!" The domestic-comedy concept pioneered by the likes of George Burns and Gracie Allen is examined. Featured shows include "The Goldbergs," "I Love Lucy," "The Honeymooners," "The Dick Van Dyke Show," "All in the Family," "The Cosby Show," "Roseanne," "Seinfeld" and "The Simpsons." (2 hours)
Date & Time
Thu. June 25, 2009 8p
Sat. June 27, 2009 1:30a
Sun. June 28, 2009 5a
*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.
Credit goes to the old honeymooners.net, tvguide.com, tvland.com, wgnamerica.com, wikipedia.org and wpix.com.
Alice's Mom: "What is keeping Alice and that FAT husband of hers? They know that today is Father's Day and you wanted to come here for dinner?"
Alice's Dad: "I hope they arrive here soon...I see them now."
(The Kramdens arrive. Ralph looks mad.)
Alice: "Happy Father's Day Dad."
Alice's Dad: "Hi Alice! I see Ralph is not here with his parents."
Ralph: "I hope you realize that this restaurant is the most expensive restaurant in the world. There is no truck driver that eats here."
Alice's Mom: "Speaking of Dad's day, I wish Ralph you were a father. One day, I want my Alice to say: 'Ma, I am pregnant.' Instead, the only pregnant one around here is you."
Ralph: "Oh, you are a riot."
(Cut to them eating dinner.)
Alice's Dad: "What a Father's Day this has been. I am having fun. I just danced with my wife alongside you two."
Alice's Mom: "I am surprised Ralph was able to dance."
(Ralph gets angrier.)
Ralph: "You know, speaking of Dad's day, I wish I was a father. I would call my son Ralph. My father's name was Ralph. They used to us 'Big' Ralph & 'Little' Ralph."
Alice's Mom: "Which one were you, 'Big' Ralph?"
(Ralph bangs his fist.)
Ralph: "If I had a daughter, I would give her the unique name of Ralphina Kramden."
(They all laugh.)
Ralph: "Father's are a big part of life. I am glad that my Dad was there for me and I am sure all of us are glad too."
All: "Here! Here!"
(They all sing a song about Father's Day.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie Gleason: "How sweet it is."
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "Folks, in honor of Father's Day, I am glad that my adult children are sitted right in the front row. Right in back of Sammy Spear. They all agree that Sammy is wearing a very UNIQUE jacket. All I can say is that jacket won't be in any store around here at all."
(All laugh.)
Jackie: "I want to wish everyone a Happy Father's Day and the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"
"Man In The Blue Suit":
Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely here without you."
Trixie: "Oh Ed, why don't you ever talk to me like that?"
Ed: "I would be very happy to if you only would go away every once and a while."
"A Weighty Problem Part One":
Ralph: "For my height, I am four pounds underweight. It says so in the chart."
Alice: "You must have been looking at a chart for a hippotomus."
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
Alice: "How was the anchovy pizza that I made for you Mr. Gleason?"
Jackie: "I don't know. I ate it so fast, I didn't taste it."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
(Ralph & Alice are in the poolroom. The Nortons come in.)
Ralph: "I didn't know anything escaped from the zoo today."
Ed: "If it was an elephant, I can tell them where to look."
"Stars Over Flatbush":
Ed (reading the astrology book): "'Taurus the Bull seldom loses his temper, shows great wisdow in all financial matters and is extremely attractive to the opposite sex.'"
Ralph: "That is me all right."
"Funny Money":
Ralph: "Junk? Junk Junk? Just watch yourself Alice. This furniture was a wedding present from my grandfather."
Alice: "Yeah to your grandmother."
"The Worry Wart":
Ralph: "The governemnt is investigating me."
Alice: "You are not the first person to be investigated by the government."
Ed: "Yeah, the jails are full of them."
"Better Living Through TV":
Ralph: "I'm going to make a fortune and I'm going to let you in on the deal."
Ed: "Here we go again."
Ralph: "What kind of crack is that?"
Ed: "I'll tell you what kind of crack that was. You come to me before with things like this before. I can't stand to make a fortune again. I'm going broke."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
(Ralph walks in as Alice and Trixie are rehearsing their act for the talent show.)
Alice: "We are rehearsing."
Ralph: "For what, The Bellevue Follies?"
(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)
TV-G
All times are Eastern.
All color episodes are one hour.
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.
Mon. June 22, 2009 2a #15 (aka #168) – “Rafitti, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme.
3a #6 (aka #159) – “The Mod Couple” (aka "The Honeymooners in England"): The Kramdens & Nortons appear in a Flakey Wakey commercial on an English TV show. Ralph makes a fool of himself and Ed accidentally overturns a piano. The Kramdens flee London in shame but are invited back because the audience loved the commercial.
Tue. June 23, 2009 2a #39 (aka #192) – “Ralph Goes Hollywood”: Bing Crosby, Maureen O'Hara and Bert Parks are the guests as the Honeymooners head for Hollywood to claim their songwriting prize. High jinks include a stay at Maureen's mansion, expense-account living and Ralph's plan to throw a party for Bing. (The role of the "reporter" is played by George Petrie.)
Wed. June 24, 2009 2a #40 (aka #193) – “The Mexican Hat Trick”: Carol Lawrence and the Baja Marimba Band guests as the Honeymooners head for colorful Mexico. Mix-ups include a rendezvous between the alluring El Lobo (Carol) and Ralph; a run-in with the banditos Jenkins (Jesse White) and Pedro (Phil Leeds); and the kidnapping of Alice and Trixie.
Thu. June 25, 2009 2a #41 (aka #194) – “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”: Joining the Honeymooners: Oscar winner George Chakiris ("A Chorus Line"). A Hollywood shopping spree turns chaotic when shoplifter Mousey the Dip (George) uses Alice as his unwitting accomplice.
Fri. June 26, 2009 2a #42 (aka #195) - “The Honeymoon Is Over”: Mike Douglas guests as the Honeymooners are invited to plug the prize-winning song on Mike's show. And what a show it is: Ralph and Alice have an on-camera tiff that gets everyone into the act.
Sat. June 27, 2009 2a #43 (aka #196) – “Happiness Is a Rich Uncle”: Joey Heatherton guests as the go-go girl sweetheart of Alice's Uncle Howard (David Burns), an 83 year-old millionaire. Suspicious that she's gone-gone over Howard's gold, the Honeymooners decide to put Emily to the test -- with suave Norton as bait.
Sun. June 28, 2009 2a #12 (aka #165) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because=2 0he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony.
3a #7 (aka #160) - "You're in the Picture": Blackmailers fake a hanky-panky photo of Ralph in Madrid, and for once, Alice is jealous.
Mon. June 29, 2009 2a #16 (aka #169) – “Ralph Kramden Presents”: Ralph is asked to invite his celebrity friend that he always brags about, Jackie Gleason, to the annual Raccoons dance. In desperation, Ralph & Ed go over to the hotel that Gleason is staying to try to get him to come. Ralph gets to speak to Carney and Ed gets to speak to Gleason but in the confusion, nobody is invited to the dance. Alice promises Gleason the recipe for her anchovy pizza and he shows up at the dance.
3a #8 (aka #161) - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies.
Tue. June 30, 2009 2a #44 (aka #197) – “Hawaii, Oh! Oh!”: Donald O'Connor guests as a money minded maitre d' as the Honeymooners visit Hawaii. Charlie (Donald) and his bartender (Jeremiah Morris) concoct a phony diet sauce guaranteed to slim down fatties. The missing ingredient: a sucker. Enter rotund Ralph.
Wed. July 1, 2009 2a #45 (aka #198) – “The Sun & Raccoon Capital”: The end of the harmonious Honeymooners quartet may be near. At the Miami convention of the Raccoons, it's election time. Opponents for the office of High Exalted Mystic Ruler? Ralph and Norton!
Thu. July 2, 2009 2a #46 (aka #199) – “The Match Game”: Frances Langford plays the brain behind a computer-match service, as the Honeymooners breeze into the Windy City. Computer-wise, the Norton's match really clicks --but Cupid somehow missed with the Kramdens! Who's at fault, man or machine?
Fri. July 3, 2009 2a #47 (aka #200) – “Double Trouble”: Jackie plays a dual role as the Honeymooners check in at scenic Sun Valley, Idaho. A Kramden look alike is passing some bad checks, and the Honeymooners devise their own disguise to track down the culprit.
Sat. July 4, 2009 2a #49 (aka #202) – “We’re Off To See The Wizard”: The Honeymooners' Mardi Gras celebration turns typically topsy-turvy. A hotel mix-up leads the foursome to Emma (Doro Merande), Norton's very-distant relative. Emma, a phony spiritualist, takes them in -- then in a séance tries to take Ralph in again.
Sun. July 5, 2009 2a #13 (aka #166) – “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persua des Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.
3a #9 (aka #162) - "Petticoat Jungle": The Kramdens & Nortons go on a safari. The men go hunting -- Ralph kills a rabbit, Ed kills an elephant.
(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
Mon. June 22, 2009 1a #036 (aka #127) - "Alice & The Blonde": Audrey Meadows said that she "loved" the episode titled "Alice and the Blonde" (originally telecast June 2, 1956), and it's easy to see why. For once, it's Alice who's fuming. It's all because of what happens at the home of one of Ralph's co-workers. Trying to ingratiate himself with Bert Weedemeyer (who Ralph thinks may become the bus company's new general manager), Ralph---with Norton by his side, naturally-heaps compliments on the man's wife, a ditsy platinum blonde who calls her husband "Twinkles." Ralph's fawning and flattery isn't amusing Alice, who'll have her revenge. Rita Weedemeyer: Freda Rosen. Bert: Frank Behrens.
1:30a #60 (aka #57) (CC) - *“Man in the Blue Suit”: Ralph wins big at poker and hides it in an old suit so Alice won't find out how much he has won. Alice gives the suit to charity.
Mon. June 29, 2009 1a #49 (aka #41) (CC) - *“Hot Dog Stand”: Ralph wants to buy a hot dog stand but Alice refuses to give him the money, so he and Norton pose as successful businessmen to get a bank loan.
1:30a #008 (aka #099) - "Pal O' Mine": A great friendship is strained after a ring t hat Norton had planned to give a co-worker winds up stuck on Ralph's finger. The episode concludes with a classic hospital scene that contains a memorable one-word ad-lib by Norton, who's saying good-bye to a doctor. Teddy Oberman: Ned Glass. Doctor: John Seymour. Nurse: Abbie Lewis.
(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed):
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.
All episodes on WGN America are in CC.
Sun. June 22, 2009 9p #019 (aka #110) - "Ralph Kramden Inc.": Ralph needs a loan from Norton, so he sells him a share of his future earnings as a corporation---Ralph Kramden, Inc. It's another con job by Ralph, of course, until he learns that an old woman with a $40 million estate died and left him in her will. That's enough for Norton, as an officer in the corporation, to remind Ralph about one "small detail"---that they need to bring a suitcase to the reading of the will to carry home the $40 million.
9:30p #020 (aka #111) - "Young At Heart": Ralph wants to prove to Alice that he's still young at heart by learning dances like the Big Apple and the Suzie Q., which prompts Norton to ask: "How can anyone so round be so square?" But he's still determined, so the Kramdens and the Nortons decide to make a night of it by going roller-skating. Ralph on wheels at the rink makes for one of the series' classic scenes. Another has Norton teaching Ralph how to do the Hucklebuck.
Sun. June 29, 2009 9p #021 (aka #112) - "A Dog's Life": Ralph gets another one of his half-baked ideas after he samples a tasty dish he found in his ice box in "A Dog's Life," which was originally telecast Feb. 18, 1956. Convinced that the unusual cracker-spread will satisfy the public's appetite for a snack that's new and different, Ralph asks his boss, Mr. Marshall, to taste the dish in the hope that he'll bankroll production. Ralph's even cooked up a name for the culinary delight: "KramMar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer." Marshall tries it and likes it, and asks Ralph if the recipe is exclusively his wife's or if Alice's mother helped out. "Anything she'd cook I wouldn't give to a dog," Ralph replies. But Marshall wants some other opinions, so he calls in his assistants for another taste test.
9:30p #022 (aka #113) - "Here Comes The Bride": On the eve of his lodge brother Stanley's marriage to Alice's sister, Ralph---the self-proclaimed "king of [his] castle"---gives his future brother-in-law marital advice. Furious that Stanley has agreed to live with Alice's parents, Ralph instructs him to put his foot down. "I don't want to argue," he tells Ralph, prompting Norton to reply: "If you don't want to argue, what are you getting married for?"
(BIO) & (BIO HD):
Sat. June 27, 2009 11a (CC) : "Bio Classics": "Jackie Gleason" A bio on Jackie.
(WGCU) & (WGCU HD) (Southwest Florida PBS affiliate):
"Pioneers of Television" #001 (CC) "Sitcoms": Sitcoms are featured, including "I Love Lucy," "Make Room for Daddy," "The Honeymooners" and "The Dick Van Dyke Show." Actors Joyce Randolph, Marlo Thomas, Andy Griffith, Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke reminisce. (1 hour)
Date & Time
Sun. June 21, 2009 4p
Sun. June 21, 2009 11p
Sat. June 27, 2009 5:30p
Wed. June 24, 2009 4a (CC) "Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America": "Nerds, Jerks & Oddballs: Would Ya Hit a Guy with Glasses?": Billy Crystal hosts this history of American comedy, which explores the funny business via performances, profiles and interviews. It begins with the comic treasures unearthed by such outsiders as Harold Lloyd and Bob Hope, trailblazing female comic Phyllis Diller, and such zany characters as Andy Kaufman, Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters. Also featured are Cheech and Chong, Woody Allen and the funniest man to ever make balloon animals, Steve Martin. Amy Sedaris narrates. (2 hours)
(WNET) & (WNET HD) (Newark, NJ PBS affiliate):
"Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America": "Breadwinners and Homemakers: Honey, I'm Home!" The domestic-comedy concept pioneered by the likes of George Burns and Gracie Allen is examined. Featured shows include "The Goldbergs," "I Love Lucy," "The Honeymooners," "The Dick Van Dyke Show," "All in the Family," "The Cosby Show," "Roseanne," "Seinfeld" and "The Simpsons." (2 hours)
Date & Time
Thu. June 25, 2009 8p
Sat. June 27, 2009 1:30a
Sun. June 28, 2009 5a
*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.
Credit goes to the old honeymooners.net, tvguide.com, tvland.com, wgnamerica.com, wikipedia.org and wpix.com.