"A Matter of Life & Death":

Ralph: "In six months, I will be dead."

Ed: "Doctors can be wrong too you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave him six months to live. Boy, did he make a monkey out of that doctor."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "He lived for almost eight months."

"$99,000 Answer":

Herb Norris: "What is your wives name?"

Ralph: "Mrs. Kramden."

"On Stage":

Ed: "While I was in the Navy, I studied typing under the GI Bill and I happened to be the best in the class."

Ralph: "Why didn't you get a job in an office instead of owrking in the sewer?"

Ed: "I couldn't stand the thought of being cooped up in a stuffy office all day."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

"Mr. Mosby": "This cottage has features Mr. Kramden that compare favorably to your city home."

Ed: "If it has a door on the knob, it's way ahead."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Ed: "Hey Ralph, the door is busted."

Alice: "Ed, this is a Dutch door."

Ed: "Boy, those Dutch people must be very short."

"Songwriters":

Ralph: "I wear the pants around this house."

Alice: "Believe me, those pants would fit around this house."

"You're In The Picture":

(The Kramdens & Nortons are in Spain. Alice wants to buy something.)

Ralph: "What do you think I am, made of posadas?"

Alice: "I said posadas. Not potatoes."

"Lawsuit" (Color version):

(Ralph, with a broken leg, walks on crutches into the kitchen.)

Ralph: "You know, it's time like this when I realize how selffish you are. You know the condition that I am in. You know that I can't do anything like get a pencil by myself."

Alice: "How did you walk out here?"

Ralph: "Don't change the subject."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Ralph: "Boy, if you were my size. If youw ere only my size..."

Alice: "If I was, I would be the fat lady in the circus."