tv star collector
05-14-2009, 02:19 PM
My birthday is only about a month away, but instead of being a happy occasion, it makes me feel blue. I'll be 62 on June 18th, and I have filed for
my Social Security benefits. My checks won't start though until August 19th,
and it is still a struggle to make ends meet, in the meantime, on only my
weekly unemployment check (and a small monthly pension check). But that is
only part of the reason that I feel discouraged.
Each birthday seems to be a reminder of how, somehow, life has seemingly
passed me by. I had a good education, with degrees from two colleges. Yet,
the best job that I ever had (or probably ever will have) was one that I could
just as easily have been qualified for with only a high school diploma. Socially, I've always felt like an outsider. Having an overly protective mother
during my youth, I never had the opportunity to have many friends. So, I
grew up being a loner and, basically, a recluse; and, by now, I am too old and
set in my ways to change (and I'm not even sure that I would want to).
Still, there are times when I just need someone to talk to (besides my dog,
my one ever-present, faithful companion). I am prone to mood swings, and
it has nothing to do with the weather. It can be a cloudy, rainy, dreary
day or (like right now) the sun can be shining; and I still feel depressed.
I still miss the friendships that I made, on my three last jobs. Paradoxically,
though, I wouldn't want to have to work again .. not full-time, anyway. A
part-time job, just a few hours a week, would suit me best. Being a nervous
person, I know from past experience that customer service is not for me. An
office postion would be more suitable, but there just aren't any available here
(and working in another town is not an option, for me). Well, at least when
my Social Security benefits start, I shouldn't have to worry about money (I'll be
getting approximately $180 more a month than I am right now). So, maybe
just taking that pressure off will give me a brighter outlook on life. I hope so.
I just needed to get some things off my chest. Thanks for listening. :)
my Social Security benefits. My checks won't start though until August 19th,
and it is still a struggle to make ends meet, in the meantime, on only my
weekly unemployment check (and a small monthly pension check). But that is
only part of the reason that I feel discouraged.
Each birthday seems to be a reminder of how, somehow, life has seemingly
passed me by. I had a good education, with degrees from two colleges. Yet,
the best job that I ever had (or probably ever will have) was one that I could
just as easily have been qualified for with only a high school diploma. Socially, I've always felt like an outsider. Having an overly protective mother
during my youth, I never had the opportunity to have many friends. So, I
grew up being a loner and, basically, a recluse; and, by now, I am too old and
set in my ways to change (and I'm not even sure that I would want to).
Still, there are times when I just need someone to talk to (besides my dog,
my one ever-present, faithful companion). I am prone to mood swings, and
it has nothing to do with the weather. It can be a cloudy, rainy, dreary
day or (like right now) the sun can be shining; and I still feel depressed.
I still miss the friendships that I made, on my three last jobs. Paradoxically,
though, I wouldn't want to have to work again .. not full-time, anyway. A
part-time job, just a few hours a week, would suit me best. Being a nervous
person, I know from past experience that customer service is not for me. An
office postion would be more suitable, but there just aren't any available here
(and working in another town is not an option, for me). Well, at least when
my Social Security benefits start, I shouldn't have to worry about money (I'll be
getting approximately $180 more a month than I am right now). So, maybe
just taking that pressure off will give me a brighter outlook on life. I hope so.
I just needed to get some things off my chest. Thanks for listening. :)