(The Washington Capitals beat the NY Rangers 4-0.)

(Ralph is all depressed in the kitchen.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a lousy game. This has to be the worst Rangers game in recent history."

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, I saw the horrible game. It was a dark, dark night."

Ralph: "The Rangers can't blow this opportunity, can't they?"

Ed: "Oh Ralph, they just can't. That's all. I think the Rangers will win. Let's keep or chins up and smile. Let's get our chins up. Get your chin up Ralph, all of them."

Ralph: "Oh, you are a real riot Norton. I am just thinking, what would happen if the Rangers lost. That would be a collapse."

Ed: "Not as big a collapse as the Yankees folding to the Red Sox in 2004."

Ralph: "Please, I am trying to forget that."

Ed: "I know. Me too. Hey, look on the birhgt side of things. If the Capitals win, Washington D.C. will be happy and the happiness may pump up Barack to do a better job."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason appears on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

"The Golfer":

Ralph: "I got enough confidence in me for the both of us."

Alice: "You got enough of EVERYTHING in you for the both of us."

"Better Living Through TV":

Trixie: "Some day Ed, you are going to ask me to do something for you."

Ed: "I am right now. Leave the premises."

"TV or Not TV":

Ralph: "You once said: 'Ralph, I will be happy to live in a tent with you."

Alice: "I still am. I think it would be an improvement."

"Hot Dog Stand":

(While practicing fast customer service, Ed says a whole lot of different letters.)

Ralph: "What is that?"

Ed: "Alphabet soup."

"Hot Dog Stand":

Mr. Foster: "What is your mom's maiden name Mr. Norton."

Ed: "Mrs. Norton."

"A Weighty Problem Part 2":

Ed (reading a crossword puzzle): "'Four words. The Leaning Tower of..."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Ed (yells): "I JUST SAID..."

Ralph (yells): "I SAID SHUT UP!"

Ed (yells): "I JUST SAID..."

Ralph (yells): "I SAID SHUT UP!"

Ed (yells): "WHAT'S WRONG?"

Ralph (yells): "WHAT'S WRONG? THE LEANING TOWER OF PIZZA. THAT IS WHAT IS WRONG."

"Norton Moves In" (Color version):

Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen."

Ralph: "Just a moment. Whenever you mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Alice: "My mother was offered to appear in silent pictures but she turned it down so she can have a family."

Ralph: "For your information, the reason why your mother was not in silent pictures was because she couldn't keep silent."

"Happiness Is A Rich Uncle":

Ralph: "When that girl popped out of the cake, did she see you?"

Ed: "I couldn't tell. She had whipped cream in her eyes."