Some of my favorites include:

Rose: Your situation reminds me of something that happened back in St. Olaf
Sophia: Please!! Dust reminds you of stuff back in St. Olaf

Blanche: I'm just beside myself I don't know what to do (after her college professor sexually harrasses her)
Sophia: Get it in writing

Big Daddy: Forgive me for starin' ma'am, but I've always thought the stunning beauty of an Italian woman should be admired like a work of art
Sophia: You needs boots to listen to this guy!

Guy at banquet: Blanche tells me she worked very closely with the caterer.
Sophia: Did she tell you they were naked most of the time?

Blanche's daughter (a former model who's overweight) is at the door.
Sophia: What did she model car covers?
Dorothy: You'll have to forgive my mother.
Rose: It's just that we didn't expect you to be this fat.
Blanche: Let me get a look at you (referring to her overweight daughter).
Sophia: This could take several hours.

Blanche's date Ham has gained weight since high school and picks her up for their date.
Rose: So what's Ham short for?
Sophia: My guess would be ham and potatoes
Sophia: What else can we look at, the man is covering half the pictures on our walls

Rose: I'm sure he's sleeping, I don't want to wake him
Sophia: You could light firecrackers in his nostrils, you won't wake him

Blanche: Rose has decided she's going to keep on seeing Jonathan (a midget)
Sophia: Let the man out of the pillow case, we don't mind if he sleeps over

I'll post these without setting up the scenes just because I'm too lazy lol. Most of you should be able to figure out where they're from.

"He's alive alright, I poked him with a stick."
"Beat it you fifty year-old matress."
"You're only going to sit in an inch of water?"
"Implants."
"And the world takes a collective sigh of relief."
"Excuse me while I play the grand piano."
"Get a poodle."
"One night I'll blech and Stable Male here'll blow my head off."

Hmmm.....I'll try thinking of some more of my favorites....there are SO many.

"Yeah, they're called lesbians."

You're quotes reminded me of more lol.

The funeral director is telling them at Forever Peaceful they've taken out all the morbid death stuff.
Sophia: What are you running here a sushi bar?
Later he says isn't it lovely the three of you planning ahead for mother.
Sophia: Hey P-Phifer, how you would like a punch in your p-face?

When she and Blanche are fighting over Fidel--
Blanche: Blanche Deverex has never shared a man.
Sophia: Or a pizza!

From Sisters and Other Strangers:

Rose: Ned was sort of the town idiot.

Sophia: When, on your days off?

Dorothy: What do you want me to do, throw her out?

Sophia: Yes (referring to Rose), and while you're at it, ditch the commie!

Sophia: Was she that tremendously fat woman with a wooden leg and a hairless cat named Cincinnati Jake?

[Rose has just had open-heart surgery]
Blanche: No one looks good after surgery, Sophia.
Sophia: Try telling that to Cher.

Sophia:(to Blanche)
Thank you, Sheena, Queen of the Slut People!

Sophia: I was boiling water to shrink the cyst on my backside so I thought I'd throw in some tea bags and make myself a hero. Enjoy!

Blanche: (after Sophia strikes her grandson David) Is that all you Italians know how to do, hit?

Sophia: No! We also know how to make love and sing opera!

Awww... so many memories! :lol:

Hotel Desk Clerk: Sorry, company policy.
Sophia: Oh yeah? Well I'm from Sicily.. you know what our company policy is? First I break your knees!!""

This is my absolute favorite Sophia line: I got it nobody told me. I didn't get it nobody told me. I figured this is life and went back to my meatballs.:lol:

"What is this, a revival of Raisin in the Sun?"

"Jean in love with Little Miss Muffett, come on!!"

"I know that, I can't believe these dumb cops would think that anyone would pay money to sleep with the 3 of you!"

you need boots to listen to this guy

At the sperm bank, "I'm not here for me, it's for a friend." "Does your mother know you do this for a living?" "I bet this is more fun than giving blood." "You got any Tony Bennett socked away?"

To Rose: "If you have to go out tomorrow, tell those cry babies not to call during the Young and the Restless."

One of the funniest scenes I remember:

Sophia: Alright it's late and I'm tired, so listen up!
Dorothy: Oh Ma, are you going to tell a story?
Sophia: No I'm going to do shadow puppets, an elephant eating a peanut...happy? OF COURSE I'M GOING TO TELL A STORY!!
Picture it, Moraco the 30s
Rose: The 1930s?
Sophia: No 30 degrees, do I look like Willard Scott!!?
OF COURSE THE 1930s, three friends were haggling over a Camel
Rose: How many humps?
Sophia: None!, it was a cigarette, it was the last one
Dorothy: Oh Ma!!, now what does this have to do with the diary?
Sophia: Suddenly, I'm on Nightline, I'm just trying to tell a story!!

(Stan walks in through the back door)
Stan: The way you leave that back door open, any idiot could walk in.
Sophia: Any idiot did.

(Stan thinks Blanche slept with his brother, Ted, but is trying to keep it a secret.)
Stan: Oh, I get it: play dumb. I can play dumb.

(Both from "Brotherly Love.")

Sophia: Play? You could manage the team!

(Miles/Nick Carbone confesses to having been associated with the mob.)
Sophia: Let me get this straight: You mean to tell me you are personally acquainted with men do bodily harm to private citizens for money?

Miles: I can't deny it, Sophia. Yes

Sophia: Then take down this address: Gladys Goldfine... (friend with whom she's had a falling-out) (from Miles to Go)

Better I should say nothing from now on, and sit here like a pin-cushion. (From "You Gotta Have Hope.")

Rose (talking to the puppy she knows she has to give up): You know, I used to have a little dog just like you, back in St. Olaf.
Sophia: (bangs on table) She said 'St. Olaf,' Bingo! I told you, that's the 'attack' command!

I also loved whenever she said the word "yutz." All the funnier because it's a Jewish word.

James: (potential car-buyer) Blanche said I was going to be the first. (meaning, to test-drive)
Sophia: She's been using that line for 40 years.
(from "Triple Play")

And at the end of Yokel Hero when she mimics the Topple-koppler triplets to toast Rose: "You are St. Olaf's Woman of the Year! Oofta!"

^ I agree - every time Sophia called someone a yutz, I just howl. :rofl:

TO:

ROSE: ....YOU NEED THE WIZARD OF OZ.:)

BLANCHE: ...YOUR'E OLD, YOU SAG, GET OVER IT.:D

DOROTHY: I'D RATHER LIVE WITH A LESBIAN THAN A CAT. UNLESS, A LESBIAN SHEDS, THAT I DON'T KNOW.
:eek: