1. A party isn't a party without a big sandwich.

2. If it's green, it's trouble. If it's fried, get double!

3. I can get divorced real quickly in Mexico if I need to.

4. If there's only one jelly donut left, it's probably not a good idea to eat it unless you leave the area immediately.

5. Keep your hands out of the toilet. You'll get stuck pretty tight.

Never loan your houseboat to Brian!!

:lol: And never let Lowell move in with you.

Never let Helen park her jeep in the hanger.

Don't forget to clean underneath the cash register or you'll be sorry.

Never give Fay a leg of Lamb or there might be an accident.

Never complain about a scratch on your suitcase or Joe just might put it through his scratch remover machine.

If Lowell tries to sell you a Carbque, get one for yourself and a couple for your loved ones because you'll never go hungry as long as you're driving.

If your friend is being held hostage, make sure your friend's new girlfriend and the wife of the gunman aren't one and the same. :lol:

Don't put your irresponsible brother in charge of picking up the tuxes for your wedding day. He might be too busy sleeping with his future sister-in-law to make sure he gets the right ones!

Just because your mother visits right after you get engaged, you shouldn't assume she's going to have a lot of money to give you for the wedding.

Never bump a star hockey player from a flight.

Never let Antonio work the ticket counter.

Never let Lowell watch the lunch counter. Better yet, don't tell him "If anyone needs anything, tell them I'll be right back."

Hairplugs...they're hardly noticeable.

When in doubt, jump in bed with your engaged best friend, then chase her when she goes to meet the fiancee and propose to her. Works every time.

Dogs can talk...Just ask Joe about Ranger.

Happy places always involve the Brady kids.

Wedding dress not perfect? Your fiancee will always show up with a dozen roses.

Before I start playing my guitar in a crowded area, I need to make sure I can play more than one song :lol:

1. A party isn't a party without a big sandwich.

Words of wisdom! :cool:

Marshmallows don't have stems.

Never have a fight with your significant other in an airplane hangar. It could get messy!

Don't ever invite Lowell over to play Trivial Pursuit - especially if Roy will be there!

These are hilarious. Good work, guys.

There's an opening in men's underwear.

Earrings on a dead man make him look cheap.

Never sleep with your old English teacher w/o popping a Viagra.

Faulkner's Syndrome affects women who break up with their fiances.

George Kennedy should never vacation on Nantucket.

Anniversaries are about first kiss locations, not first meals.

A diet cola machine holds 40 cans.

The bride's mother will give you tongue in the receiving line.

:wave: hello

stuff we learned from wings,

don't use wash dish liquid for wash your hair, Brian did

Gavin Rutledge (Jonathan Frakes) doesn't get shot at that often even though Antonio would take a bullet for him.