callmetootie
06-18-2001, 05:20 PM
Season 7
"Fun With Jack, Janet, Terri, and Lucy"
[Phone rings]
[Janet answers it]
Janet: Hello.
Lucy: Hi, is this Terri or Cindy?
Janet: This is Janet.
Lucy: Oh, the short one. Well this is Lucille Ball. I visited Jack a few years back, and I just went to his restaurant.
Janet: Oh my, it's so nice to speak to you Ms. Ball. Jack would have loved to see you, but he called in sick today.
Lucy: The reason I called is that I'am shooting a movie in Santa Monica, and all of the hotels are filled, so I wondered if I could stay with you.
Janet: That would be an honor, wow, ok, come over whenever you want.
Lucy: How's 5 seconds sound?
[Doorbell rings]
Janet: Excuse me, I have to answer the doorbell.
[Opens it and Lucy's there with her portable phone]
Lucy: Isn't it great how the techology is these days?
[Audiance claps and stomps on floor so loud]
Janet: Ms. Ball, it's so nice to see you again, it's been a while since I've seen you.
[Terri walks in]
Terri: Hey Janet...OH MY LORDY!!!!!
Lucy: Oh my TERRI!!!
Terri: Oh my god, it's you again! Not that I meant that in a bad way, but...Oh it's such an honor. What are you doing here?
Lucy: I'm staying here.
Terri: That's nice. Well I have to go. Oh and if you touch my bed, I will kill you.
Lucy: What?
Terri: Just kidding!
[Terri leaves]
Lucy: So where's Jack?
Janet: He's in bed, sleeping.
Lucy: Oh, I'll just take a peek.
[Lucy tiptoes into Jack's room]
[Whispering] Lucy: Hello Jack.
Jack: Oh Donna, I'm sorry about last night.
Lucy: Boy he is sick.
Jack: Donna, last night that act you put on was soooooo goood!!
Lucy: This is sick.
Jack: Oh Donna....LUCY!!!!
Lucy: Hey honey.
Jack: Lucy, what are you in my bedroom for...Oh you dirty old lady.
Lucy: I look like 40 Jack.
Jack: What do I look like?
Lucy: You look like a sick chef. I went to your restaurant today. I had a chicken caeser salad.
Jack: Did you like it?
Lucy: It was to eat for. Let me say that, I'm not dying any time soon.
Jack: Oh Lucy. I love you.
Lucy: Go back to sleep.
Jack: Ok Ethel.
Lucy: You can call me Lucy. Good night.
[Lucy walks into the living room]
Lucy: No one is here. Awesome!!! Time for Name That Tune!
[Flashes 15 minutes later, with bowls of popcorn, potato chips, and lemon pie in front of her]
Lucy: The tune is Amercia, The Beautiful! You got it wrong! Oh, this show just keeps getting better and better!
[Janet and Terri walk in]
Lucy: Oh hi girls... Oh my..Girls help!!!
Janet: What's wrong.
Lucy: I can't move my right leg, it hurts. Oh please help me!!
Terri: Well I'm a nurse, so let me see.
Lucy: Ooooo it hurts!!!
Terri: Lucille, you've got nothing.
Lucy: Oh you god damn playboy nurses, get moving!
Terri: Here, I don't know, eat some more popcorn, or potato chips, or...JACK"S PIE!!!!! That was the pie that won him the Food Learners Award!!!
Lucy: I was hungry, I don't see any caviar around here.
Janet: Ms. Ball!!!
Lucy: You know girls, it's moments like these that make worth while. You know I'm just fooling with ya, I feel great.
Terri: YOU WHAT?
Janet: Stop kidding around maneater!
[Spills bowl of Popcorn on her]
Lucy: I'm leaving this pigpen, animal house.
Terri: Oh and Ms. Ball. We love you!
Lucy: These mixed personailites..damn that rap music.
THE END
------------------
Andrew Carden
"Fun With Jack, Janet, Terri, and Lucy"
[Phone rings]
[Janet answers it]
Janet: Hello.
Lucy: Hi, is this Terri or Cindy?
Janet: This is Janet.
Lucy: Oh, the short one. Well this is Lucille Ball. I visited Jack a few years back, and I just went to his restaurant.
Janet: Oh my, it's so nice to speak to you Ms. Ball. Jack would have loved to see you, but he called in sick today.
Lucy: The reason I called is that I'am shooting a movie in Santa Monica, and all of the hotels are filled, so I wondered if I could stay with you.
Janet: That would be an honor, wow, ok, come over whenever you want.
Lucy: How's 5 seconds sound?
[Doorbell rings]
Janet: Excuse me, I have to answer the doorbell.
[Opens it and Lucy's there with her portable phone]
Lucy: Isn't it great how the techology is these days?
[Audiance claps and stomps on floor so loud]
Janet: Ms. Ball, it's so nice to see you again, it's been a while since I've seen you.
[Terri walks in]
Terri: Hey Janet...OH MY LORDY!!!!!
Lucy: Oh my TERRI!!!
Terri: Oh my god, it's you again! Not that I meant that in a bad way, but...Oh it's such an honor. What are you doing here?
Lucy: I'm staying here.
Terri: That's nice. Well I have to go. Oh and if you touch my bed, I will kill you.
Lucy: What?
Terri: Just kidding!
[Terri leaves]
Lucy: So where's Jack?
Janet: He's in bed, sleeping.
Lucy: Oh, I'll just take a peek.
[Lucy tiptoes into Jack's room]
[Whispering] Lucy: Hello Jack.
Jack: Oh Donna, I'm sorry about last night.
Lucy: Boy he is sick.
Jack: Donna, last night that act you put on was soooooo goood!!
Lucy: This is sick.
Jack: Oh Donna....LUCY!!!!
Lucy: Hey honey.
Jack: Lucy, what are you in my bedroom for...Oh you dirty old lady.
Lucy: I look like 40 Jack.
Jack: What do I look like?
Lucy: You look like a sick chef. I went to your restaurant today. I had a chicken caeser salad.
Jack: Did you like it?
Lucy: It was to eat for. Let me say that, I'm not dying any time soon.
Jack: Oh Lucy. I love you.
Lucy: Go back to sleep.
Jack: Ok Ethel.
Lucy: You can call me Lucy. Good night.
[Lucy walks into the living room]
Lucy: No one is here. Awesome!!! Time for Name That Tune!
[Flashes 15 minutes later, with bowls of popcorn, potato chips, and lemon pie in front of her]
Lucy: The tune is Amercia, The Beautiful! You got it wrong! Oh, this show just keeps getting better and better!
[Janet and Terri walk in]
Lucy: Oh hi girls... Oh my..Girls help!!!
Janet: What's wrong.
Lucy: I can't move my right leg, it hurts. Oh please help me!!
Terri: Well I'm a nurse, so let me see.
Lucy: Ooooo it hurts!!!
Terri: Lucille, you've got nothing.
Lucy: Oh you god damn playboy nurses, get moving!
Terri: Here, I don't know, eat some more popcorn, or potato chips, or...JACK"S PIE!!!!! That was the pie that won him the Food Learners Award!!!
Lucy: I was hungry, I don't see any caviar around here.
Janet: Ms. Ball!!!
Lucy: You know girls, it's moments like these that make worth while. You know I'm just fooling with ya, I feel great.
Terri: YOU WHAT?
Janet: Stop kidding around maneater!
[Spills bowl of Popcorn on her]
Lucy: I'm leaving this pigpen, animal house.
Terri: Oh and Ms. Ball. We love you!
Lucy: These mixed personailites..damn that rap music.
THE END
------------------
Andrew Carden