[Only seven posts away from No. 3,000!]

Bob Hope, on President Nixon's trip to China in 1972: "The President's party
stayed at a very modern hotel. There was color television in every room. Only
it watched you."

Mike Stivic: "What do you mean--America, love it or leave it?"
Archie Bunker: "That's right, it's a free country, so amscray."
Mike: "But what would our leaving solve? With or without our protestors we'd
still have the same problems."
Archie: "What problems?"
Mike: "The war. The racial problem. The economic problem. The pollution
problem."
Archie: "Well, if you're gonna nitpick."

Policeman asking about a gang of robbers: "Were they colored?"
Fred Sanford: "Yeah. White."

Flip Wilson: "How come you sing the blues?"
B.B. King: "I watch your program."

And then there's the bronze plaque that hung in the TV offices of Rowan
& Martin's Laugh-In:
IN SKATING OVER THIN ICE
OUR SAFETY IS OUR SPEED
DAN & DICK
1968

[Source: TV's Top Comedians, by David Dachs (1973)]