"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":

(Ralph just walked away into the bedroom after Alice's mother dared him to fight her.)

Alice's Mom (yells): "CHICKEN! CHICKEN! CHICKEN!"

Ralph (opening the door, yells): "CROW! CROW! CROW!"

"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"):

Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down."

Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that's strong enough to do that."

"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"):

(Ralph is playing pool.)

Ralph: "I just sunk in seventeen balls to tie the house record. I am now going to break the house record and I don't wnat to hear a sound out of you."

Ed (accidently making Ralph miss his shot): "You won't even know that I am here."

"Quiz Show":

Ralph: "I had six years of schooling."

Alice: "And I had eight years."

Ralph: "Well, some people learn faster than others."

"Quiz Show":

Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous that I couldn't answer the first question that they asked me."

Ralph: "What was that?"

Ed: "My name."

"The Sleepwalker":

Ralph: "Okay Wisenheimer, I am now going to put the key where even if you knew where it was, you wouldn't be able to find it. I am going to put it right under my pillow. Now you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get it."

Ed: "Congratulations Ralph, you came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Ed just won the TV set with the ticket that Ralph bought for him. Ralph is jealous.)

Ed: "It's just like the guy said: 'A lesser man would have said: 'I bought the ticket. The set belongs to me.''"

Ralph: "I bought the ticket. The set belongs to me."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Ralph: "Tell them Alice, do I wear a girdle?"

Alice: "No."

Ralph: "There you are."

Alice: "He wanted one but they don't make them that big."

"Lawsuit" (Color version):

Ralph: "All right from no on, I will get everything by myself."

Alice: "Ralph..."

Ralph: "Don't 'Ralph' me. If I can't get it, I will do without it. Right now, I am dying for a glass of water, but I would die first before I asked you."

(A pause.)

Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU GOING TO GIVE ME A GLASS OF WATER?"

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Ralph: "Ed was only trying to help? First, he made me lose my hearing, then he electrocuted me? Why don't you help me some more? Why don't you run me over with the car?"

Ed: "The car won't start."