JamesG
10-21-2008, 01:19 PM
10. 4 Minutes (2008)
Madonna and Justin Timberlake
Madge and J.T.'s overwrought performances and Timbaland's marching-band-on-meth production are so over-the-top it's almost hilarious. Meanwhile, in a move that reeks of substance and integrity, 4 Minutes had its official debut in a Sunsilk shampoo commercial. So, apparently, the song is saving the world from frizz and split ends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfUjfioAnKY
9. Dancing in the Street (1985)
Mick Jagger and David Bowie
Jagger and Bowie recorded this Martha and the Vandellas cover (and shot the entire video) in less than one day. It shows. Hamming it up in the most hideous '80s fashions imaginable, two of the coolest rockers ever managed to murder both a great song and their reputations. The single's proceeds going to charity may be the only thing keeping everyone involved out of jail.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y-x2fWKbmo
8. Our Lips Are Sealed (2004)
Hilary and Haylee Duff
This featherweight version of the Go-Go's pop classic was the big single from Hilary's teentastic A Cinderella Story and is destined to have the same cultural impact. With its soulless production and vocals so processed you can't tell the sisters apart, it's easy to imagine that this "song" was sprayed directly out of a can. The good news? It's only slightly worse than their 2006 cover of Material Girl.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGRPCruvmaE
7. (I've Had) the Time of My Life (1987)
Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley
We'd give anything to put this baby in the corner ... forever. The mind-boggling success of Dirty Dancing made this syrupy gem into a national sensation -- the song ultimately danced away with an Oscar, a Grammy and a Golden Globe. Along the way, no one noticed that it was a massive ball of overheated cheese. Even our parents are embarrassed that they once owned the cassingle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH0lEVMuzzw
6. I Know What You Want (2004)
Mariah Carey and Busta Rhymes
Mimi turns in the laziest "duet" performance in history on this half-assed slow jam, mostly dropping in on the chorus and occasionally moaning through some unnecessary scales. In fact, she would count only as a background singer if it weren't for her "verse" late in the song. The raps aren't much better: The song closes with a non-rhyming litany of the various record companies involved.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk0TmajJyZI
5. To All The Girls I've Loved Before (1984)
Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias
As if the pairing of a stoned country-music legend and a super-suave Latin lothario wasn't strange enough, this too-boring-to-be-funny song is basically a shout-out to every notch on their collective bedposts. Talk about your unpleasant images: Just imagine being in a room with all the girls Willie has loved before.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSAODcg--Dc
4. I've Got You Under My Skin (1993)
Bono and Frank Sinatra
This Cole Porter standard had been a Sinatra mainstay for decades when some marketing genius decided Ol' Blue Eyes should cut the 'Duets' album with contemporary singers. The album's lowlight is unquestionably Bono, whose melodramatic crooning wanders perilously close to whale song. It's fun to imagine Sinatra's rising anger as Bono starts moaning like a deranged ghost.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXgGWwvULwc
3. The Girl Is Mine (1982)
Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
Being the worst Paul McCartney duet is like being the skinniest Olsen twin -- there's nowhere to go but up. This one features Macca and Jacko arguing over a girl who clearly has questionable taste in men. These days it's best remembered for the creepy spoken-word segment, which includes Michael uttering the infamous line, "Oh, Paul, I think I told you: I'm a lover, not a fighter."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y96mdVTMByk
2. Opposites Attract (1989)
Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat
Opposites Attract was a breakout moment for one of the most charismatic and talented entertainers of the 1980s: MC Skat Kat, the hippinest, hoppinest cartoon kitty in tha hood. Although his debut album, The Adventures of MC Skat Kat and the Stray Mob, was a commercial letdown, critics have credited this feline visionary with single-handedly kick-starting the gangsta rap movement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbknGnZXHUk
1. Crusin (2000)
Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis
Lewis and Paltrow play a singing father and daughter in a movie about the professional karaoke circuit? What could possibly go wrong? Well, there's the film's signature duet, a tone-deaf cover of a middle-of-the-road Smokey Robinson hit from 1979, which sounds like it was recorded by a has-been singer and a professional actress. Oh, wait, it was! The single did hit No. 1... in Australia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_HaoZ73wWg
Madonna and Justin Timberlake
Madge and J.T.'s overwrought performances and Timbaland's marching-band-on-meth production are so over-the-top it's almost hilarious. Meanwhile, in a move that reeks of substance and integrity, 4 Minutes had its official debut in a Sunsilk shampoo commercial. So, apparently, the song is saving the world from frizz and split ends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfUjfioAnKY
9. Dancing in the Street (1985)
Mick Jagger and David Bowie
Jagger and Bowie recorded this Martha and the Vandellas cover (and shot the entire video) in less than one day. It shows. Hamming it up in the most hideous '80s fashions imaginable, two of the coolest rockers ever managed to murder both a great song and their reputations. The single's proceeds going to charity may be the only thing keeping everyone involved out of jail.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y-x2fWKbmo
8. Our Lips Are Sealed (2004)
Hilary and Haylee Duff
This featherweight version of the Go-Go's pop classic was the big single from Hilary's teentastic A Cinderella Story and is destined to have the same cultural impact. With its soulless production and vocals so processed you can't tell the sisters apart, it's easy to imagine that this "song" was sprayed directly out of a can. The good news? It's only slightly worse than their 2006 cover of Material Girl.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGRPCruvmaE
7. (I've Had) the Time of My Life (1987)
Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley
We'd give anything to put this baby in the corner ... forever. The mind-boggling success of Dirty Dancing made this syrupy gem into a national sensation -- the song ultimately danced away with an Oscar, a Grammy and a Golden Globe. Along the way, no one noticed that it was a massive ball of overheated cheese. Even our parents are embarrassed that they once owned the cassingle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH0lEVMuzzw
6. I Know What You Want (2004)
Mariah Carey and Busta Rhymes
Mimi turns in the laziest "duet" performance in history on this half-assed slow jam, mostly dropping in on the chorus and occasionally moaning through some unnecessary scales. In fact, she would count only as a background singer if it weren't for her "verse" late in the song. The raps aren't much better: The song closes with a non-rhyming litany of the various record companies involved.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk0TmajJyZI
5. To All The Girls I've Loved Before (1984)
Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias
As if the pairing of a stoned country-music legend and a super-suave Latin lothario wasn't strange enough, this too-boring-to-be-funny song is basically a shout-out to every notch on their collective bedposts. Talk about your unpleasant images: Just imagine being in a room with all the girls Willie has loved before.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSAODcg--Dc
4. I've Got You Under My Skin (1993)
Bono and Frank Sinatra
This Cole Porter standard had been a Sinatra mainstay for decades when some marketing genius decided Ol' Blue Eyes should cut the 'Duets' album with contemporary singers. The album's lowlight is unquestionably Bono, whose melodramatic crooning wanders perilously close to whale song. It's fun to imagine Sinatra's rising anger as Bono starts moaning like a deranged ghost.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXgGWwvULwc
3. The Girl Is Mine (1982)
Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
Being the worst Paul McCartney duet is like being the skinniest Olsen twin -- there's nowhere to go but up. This one features Macca and Jacko arguing over a girl who clearly has questionable taste in men. These days it's best remembered for the creepy spoken-word segment, which includes Michael uttering the infamous line, "Oh, Paul, I think I told you: I'm a lover, not a fighter."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y96mdVTMByk
2. Opposites Attract (1989)
Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat
Opposites Attract was a breakout moment for one of the most charismatic and talented entertainers of the 1980s: MC Skat Kat, the hippinest, hoppinest cartoon kitty in tha hood. Although his debut album, The Adventures of MC Skat Kat and the Stray Mob, was a commercial letdown, critics have credited this feline visionary with single-handedly kick-starting the gangsta rap movement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbknGnZXHUk
1. Crusin (2000)
Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis
Lewis and Paltrow play a singing father and daughter in a movie about the professional karaoke circuit? What could possibly go wrong? Well, there's the film's signature duet, a tone-deaf cover of a middle-of-the-road Smokey Robinson hit from 1979, which sounds like it was recorded by a has-been singer and a professional actress. Oh, wait, it was! The single did hit No. 1... in Australia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_HaoZ73wWg