Frank Gannucci
10-17-2008, 07:38 AM
Episode #200
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to "We're Off To See The Wizard", "The Match Game", "Operation: Protest", "Women's Lib" & "A Talk With Trixie."
Once again, the June Taylor Dancers come out and sing: "Welcome To Sun Valley." They are dressed as skiers and most of them have a cast on their foot. I think those broken feet are fake because I am pretty sure if they were, they wouldn't be allowed to dance and in real-life if a person had a broken foot, well they should try to keep weight off of it. After that, they leave. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive at a hotel in snowy Sun Valley, Idaho. They are all very cold because of the conditions. It was Ralph's idea to go to a ski resort for the weekend. Ed Norton is wearing a big long fur coat and a hat. Basically, it's similar to the ensemble that he wore in "Please Leave The Premises." Ed ask Ralph to hold his long fur coat, the coat that he has on underneath it, his scarf, his long-sleeved blue shirt and several hot water bottles. Ed says he had them on so his sandwiches wouldn't get cold, so Ralph challenges him to a fight. The girls get Ralph to calm down. Ralph Kramden gets paged. A Lieutenant McKoy of the L.A. police department comes up to Ralph. He is putting Ralph under arrest. Lieutenant McKoy says that Ralph has been going to fancy hotels and throwing big parties and has been picking up the tab and leaving the hotel without pay. Ralph denies this. McKoy meets Ed Norton and says that Ralph Kramden, the criminal, has been traveling with a companion named Norton. Ed is in the clear but Ralph is in trouble. McKoy also says that Ralph has been writing bad checks in San Francisco, Honolulu, Chicago and Miami Beach. Ed: "What a coincidence. My friend Ralph has been in all those towns." McKoy is going to book him, thrown him in a L.A. jail and keep him in there until his trial comes up. McKoy takes Ralph upstairs so he can talk with him. Alice goes upstairs. Trixie knows that Ralph is not guilty. So does Ed. Trixie says that there must be someone going around looking like Ralph Kramden and doing all those evil things. Ed: "There is one thing that bothers me. Why didn't Ralph invite us to all those parties?" They go upstairs. "Ralph Kramden" (played by Jackie Gleason) & two female friends come in and rings the bell. He claims that he is Ralph Kramden and would like to cash a check for $500. "Ralph's" room is 238. He gives $100 to one of his girl's mother which is the other girl. The girl that "Ralph" gave the money to is Norton. They go inside.
At the jail, Ed Norton arrives to talk to Ralph Kramden. They are in the room where in order for a person to talk to a resident jailbird, the person uses a microphone and they are separated by a glass shield (not sure what that room is called). Ed cleans off his chair and cleans the glass. Ralph comes in typical prison attire for a jailbird. Ed says that the stripes make Ralph look fat. Ed (yells): "HOW ARE YOU DOING RALPH?" Ralph says that he doesn't have to yell, just use the microphone. Ed tests the microphone by singing, so Ralph yells at him to stop. Ralph asks how Alice is doing. Ed says that when he left, that Alice was crying her eyes out not because of Ralph being in jail but her hairdresser cancelled her appointment. Ralph is upset. Ed said that she wants to look nice so when she sees him, which is next Thursday (that's the closest day she could get after she gets her hair done.) Ed: "She tried to get a lawyer, but the lawyer couldn't do anything with her hair." Ralph wants her to get a lawyer so he can get out of here. Ralph says that it is miserable being in jail. Ed tells him to relax since he's only been in jail for 10 minutes. Ed said he asked the people in the poolroom back home to wire money for Ralph's bail. The only trouble is that the telegram came collect. Ralph needs $5,000 bail. Ed has an idea: "Why don't you write a check?" Ralph says he's liable to be in jail for 90 years. Ralph says when he gets out of jail; he isn't going to hate society. He is going back home, get his job back, and when he drives the bus out of the garage, he is going to crash his bus into that poolroom and fix those bums (as Ralph calls them). Ed: "That is the spirit." A Mr. Clark from Pettskill Studios come in and bails Ralph out of jail. Ralph is free until his trial comes up. Ralph goes inside. A Mr. Clark puts Ralph in Ed's custody until the trial comes up. He is supposed to make track of every move that Ralph makes. Mr. Clark leaves. Ed reveals that he is now in charge of looking after Ralph like he's his little brother. The lights dim as Ed (sings): "You're Norton's Little Brother Now." Ed talks to Ralph about the time that they played Pin the Tail on the Donkey and that Ralph always made sure that Ed was the donkey. Ed also remembers the times that he and Ralph played childish games. Ed also remembers the time when he got a catcher's mitt for his eighth birthday. Ralph was there. Ralph said he was going to break it in for him. Ed: "You must have done a good job. I haven't got it back yet." Ha! Ed remembers the time that he and Ralph went out for pizza and to protect him from getting fat, he gave Norton the smallest piece. Ed also remembers the time when they used to do Ring Alevio (somehow MPI's subtitles say: "Unintelligible" when Ed says that.) Ed then continues to sing: "You're Norton's Little Brother Now."
At a restaurant, "Ralph" comes in with his two female friends. They are sitting at the table in the center. "Ralph" orders champagne and caviar. "Ralph" asks two other females from another table to come along and drink with him and his entourage. They gleefully join. "Ralph" and some of the girls (sing): "Living High." The two other girls leave. They have to go to the Y.W.C.A. to play volleyball. "Ralph" says that he will sign a check and leave without paying. "Ralph": "By the time I get to Phoenix, the check will be bouncing all over the place." "Ralph" asks to cash a $500 check in the restaurant. He goes inside with the girls to cash it in. Meanwhile, the Kramdens and Nortons enter the restaurant and sit down at the same center table. The girls love the champagne and caviar at the table that they think is because of Ralph buying it. Ed checks the joint out before Ralph comes in. Ralph is wearing the same exact clothes that "Ralph" is wearing (except for a flower). The same waiter that waited on "Ralph" is waiting on the Kramdens & Nortons. He says to Ralph: "I see you have a couple of new ladies." Ralph doesn't know what he is talking about. Ralph says that they can have whatever they want because Ralph is celebrating tonight. Ralph: "It's a coming out party." Ed: "He was in jail for a bum check rap." Ralph hits him for saying that. The waiter is worried. He goes into the back room where "Ralph" is. Ralph wonders what is wrong with him. Ed said that he and Ralph are to call the studio and tell them where they are. They go into the back room. Trixie is suspicious about things like the champagne. She wonders if Ralph ordered it. Alice said that he did. Alice: "We'll ask him when he comes back." "Ralph" comes out with his female friends. He says he wants to pay the tab and get out. Somehow, Alice & Trixie don't hear this. "Ralph" goes to his table. "Ralph": "What are two young ladies doing at my table?" Alice: "Sit down. Sit down." Alice & Trixie think that it's the real Ralph and Trixie asks if he ordered the champagne. He said that he did. "Ralph": "I always said that champagne attracts pretty faces." Alice: "What has gotten into you?" "Ralph": "It's love." When Trixie asks where Norton is, he says that he is in the ladies room. Oh my! Trixie: "The ladies room?" "Ralph": "Where do you go to powder your nose, the men's room?" "Ralph" kisses Alice and says he has to leave for Phoenix before the banks open. Alice thinks that Ralph has gone crazy. Trixie says that it's because he has been in Ed's custody for a day. Ed comes out and Trixie asks him if he has been in the ladies room powdering his nose. Ed: "Why, is it shiny?" Ralph comes out. Alice asks Ralph how is it possible if he went out one way and came in to the restaurant from the back room. Ralph doesn't know what she is talking about. Alice says that maybe she had too many glasses of champagne. Ed notices the person who arrested Ralph. He invites him over. The lieutenant arrests Ralph again for making checks out to a bank in L.A. that he doesn't have account in. Ralph wonders what is going on. Ralph denies this and they leave with Ralph. Ed denies what the policemen accused Ralph of. Trixie is putting two and two together. She says that Ralph exited through the exit and came back in from the back room. Ed said that he never left Ralph when they went to make that phone call. Trixie said that while they were doing that, Ralph came in smoking a cigar and had a carnation. Trixie: "There are two Ralph's." Ed: "You mean that the weight Ralph lost formed into another person?" Trixie says that there is another Ralph cashing in phony checks and they have to catch him. Ed: "We don't know what he looks like." They all sing: "We Are Going To Find That Dirty Crook." During the song, all of them pretend to be like they are they are trying to find the crook.
The wives arrive at a bar to catch Ralph's double. At the bar is one of the Glea Girls ( think it was Greta Von Hagge) This is the 15th bar that they have been to and they are tired. Ed comes in dressed as a woman. They plan to catch the evil Ralph by having Ed dressed as a woman and have him sign his name on a check. The girls leave. Ed sits down. A drunkard (Frank Fontaine) spots Ed and thinks that he's a woman. Crazy: "Are you one of the June Taylor Dancers?" Ed said no. Crazy: "If you change your mind, I will be at the bar." "Ralph" comes in and sits down at another table. Ed spots him and drops his handkerchief. Ed whistles. "Ralph" hears him and calls "her" a charming young lady. He must need glasses. "She" says she is by herself and was ready for him. "Ralph": "I got a wild one. What is your name, Muscatel?" "Girl": "That is right." "Ralph" offers "her" some champagne. "She" declines the wine because she doesn't accept wine from strangers, but he will ask for a scotch on the rocks and some beer. "Ralph": "I will have a 10 cent glass of Muscatel. This is going to be worth it." (to "her"): "What is that aroma?" "Woman": "It's Clorox. My body stocking is still wet." He asks her what she is doing today. "She" said that she came here to get a drink for her sorrows. "She" isn't in trouble but her grandmother needs an operation. She needs a tattoo of the Grand Canyon removed from her back. Ha! "She": "It will cost $500." "Ralph": "Suppose I give you $50 and we can color in the Grand Canyon?" "She" doesn't like that idea. She needs the $500 and asks him to write a check and "cries" at the thought of him not giving "her" the $500. He accepts it. "Ralph": "I can't stand to see a lady cry." "Muscatel" (in a man's voice): "Neither can I. Write the check." Somehow, "Ralph" isn't suspicious about all this yet. He writes the check just as the wives and the policemen come in. "Ralph" is apprehended and the real Ralph is revealed to be innocent. "Ralph": "Muscatel, would you wait for me." Muscatel: "You know I would." Everyone leaves.
At the same bar later on, the same drunkard (Frank Fontaine) comes in singing and sits down at a table with his beers. The Nortons & Alice come in. Ed ordered champagne to celebrate Ralph's release from jail. Ralph comes in with McKoy as the Nortons & Alice sing: "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow." Ralph asks McKoy about that imposter that looked like him. McKoy says he goes by several different names depending on where he is. Sometimes he is known as Handsome Harry, Gorgeous Jim etc. He leaves. Ralph says that the policemen said he looked like a handsome thief. Ralph: "They arrested me because I had a pretty face." They sing: "Beautiful."
At the curtain call, Jackie introduces the main cast (Ed actually gives him what I think is a headband with a bow) and praises the Miami Beach audience and says "Goodnight!" During the curtain call, Johnny Olsen plugs the next episode by saying: "Don't forget to tune in next week to see 'Reggie and The Red Baron' starring Jackie Gleason, Art Carney & Milton Berle." My guess is that skit aired on a Jackie Gleason Show episode that had no Honeymooners material in it. I wonder why ALN or Paul didn't censor that out because I am sure casual fans would get confused if they didn't get the copy that MPI got. (The MPI copy is unedited but it doesn't have this announcement.)
Episode #202
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to "The Match Game", "Double Trouble", "Operation: Protest", "Women's Lib" & "A Talk With Trixie."
In the Nick Clooney intro, Nick says that he was asked a question from a viewer about Shelia MacRae. The person asked if Shelia did any TV shows following the Jackie Gleason Show and whether her and her husband, Gordon did any shows. Nick said yes and the show that she did was Parenthood in '90 and she and her hubby co-hosted the Revlon Review in '60. Nick said he would answer any questions from viewers by going to the website goodtv.com (that is still the website for American Life TV even though it sounds strange). I don't know if you can still ask Nick questions since ALN deleted his intros in March '05.
Before this episode aired, "The Incredible World of Ed Norton" supposedly aired (that includes “The Song Of The Sewer which can be heard here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TKv23td-fw ) I wonder if fans thought that when they saw this episode and said: "I guess they are home now" and got confused when they saw "We Are Off To See The Wizard"?"
As usual, the June Taylor Dancers come out all dressed up in costumes and sing: "Mardi Gras, Mardi Gras." After that, they leave. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in New Orleans. The guy at the hotel mixed up their reservations. Now they are in need of a room. It's Mardi Gras week and each one of them is filled up. Ed's solution: Going to a furniture store, getting three beds and putting five dollars down on the furniture. Ed: "It's cheaper than a hotel." Ralph says that is crazy. Ralph: "Where are we going to put the four beds? We don't have a room." Ed: "We go to a costume place, put the beds on a float and dress up as the three bears." Ralph: "We can't do that. There are four of us." Ed: "Pleased to meet you Goldilocks." Ralph: "You are going to be Sleeping Beauty." Trixie says that Ed has a relative down here. Ed looks up her address. Ed: “I think her name is Emma Beauregard. That means I have to look under the Rs.” Ralph: “Her last name is Beauregard and you have to look under the Rs?” Ed: “Her middle name is Beau and her last name is Regard.” That is what the subtitles on the MPI DVD say. He can’t find the address, so he asks a person to help them find the place. Ed: "Can you direct me to P.O. Box 263?" Ralph spots the address. It's Jambolia Lane Route 47. Alice suggests them renting a car and asking the guy at the office where the car is. A guy comes up dressed as Goldilocks (it's probably Sammy Spear) and has a balloon. Guy: "I can't find a room. Did you see a float go by with three bears on it?" Ed (pointing to his right): "I think they went that way." Guy: "Thank you." They leave.
At Ed Norton's relative's broken-down house, the camera zooms in on a signs that say lucky charms and voodoo stuff. It turns out that Ed's relative is a spiritualist. A guy named Clarence comes around. The audience claps for him. Mr. Morgan comes around and greets Clarence. Clarence offers him a voodoo doll, a rabbit's foot and a magic ring. He says no. Mr. Morgan asks him to get his mother out. The mortgage is due on the house. She comes out and it's the same lady who played Alice's Aunt Ethel. She is wearing some long necklaces. Mr. Morgan asks for the $200 for the mortgage. She says no but she will get in touch with her father so he can tell her where the money is. Mr. Morgan says he wants the money by Tuesday or he will take over the house. Mr. Morgan says that he doesn't believe in all that mumbo jumbo (her witchcraft). The only thing he believes in is $200. He leaves. Clarence is worried that he will take the house away. Mom: "It's such a shame since we got it fixed up." A car horn is heard and it's Ralph driving with Ed & the girls pushing it. What a lazy person that Ralph is. Ralph: "You can stop pushing. I'm tired of steering." Ralph got them all a cheap car and it ran out of gas. It turns out that Ralph didn't buy enough. Ed: "You should be grateful to him. When that alligator came out of the swamp, Ralph said: 'Push faster. He's gaining on us.'" They run into Clarence. Clarence sells them a rabbit foot, voodoo dolls. He introduces his mom as Emma. Emma: "My name is Emma Bo Regard." Ralph: "We are just down here for a few days to see the Mardi Gras." Emma: "The parade doesn't pass here." Ralph: "We will pay you for anything you get." Ralph offers her $200 for a room. Emma agrees to let them stay, put turns down the money. Alice introduces her & Trixie. They go inside to make themselves at home. Clarence carries their luggage and asks her why she turned him down. Emma says that she is going to use her supernatural powers and call upon the spirit world. If that doesn't work, she will use voodoo. If that doesn't work, she will use black magic. If that happens, she will use her most powerful weapon: Sex. Clarence: "Don't do it Ma. I can't stand seeing him put his paws on you." Emma says that everyone believes in the supernatural. Clarence & Emma sing: "Need A Little Helping Hand." Ed asks Emma if they can have the soup that is in the kitchen. She says yes. Emma: "The spirits are working already."
In the dining room, Ralph & Ed are eating soup. Ed is making noise because he has a bay leaf in his teeth. Ralph asks Emma if she can make another bowl of soup. She says no she can't for another month because there will be a full moon. Emma is glad that a Norton is here. Emma wants to find out where are her gold-blooms (gold coins). Emma: "There is a million dollars worth." Ralph says if that is so, why her and Clarence doesn’t dig them up. Emma says because the land is a swamp. Emma says that the famous pirate, Juan-Layette Norton, buried them 200 years ago. He said that he wouldn't reveal them until the first male Norton visited her house. Emma says that she can use her mystic powers to call Juan and have him tell where the money is. Ralph: "Call after 9pm. The rates are much cheaper then." Emma knows that Ralph doesn't believe the spirit world. Emma knows that Ralph is skeptical so she made a voodoo doll of Ralph (I wonder if that doll was a real toy that was marketed.) Ralph: "It looks like me." Emma says it isn't made to be cute. Emma: "Whatever happens to this doll will happen to you." Ralph doesn't believe her and leaves the room. Emma sticks something in Ralph and Ralph screams in pain. Ralph comes back in and says that he felt pain. Ralph still doesn't believe the voodoo mumbo-jumbo. Ralph sticks the pin in the doll and as he's doing it Clarence sneaks up behind him and drives a pin into Ralph's backside. Ralph & Ed don't notice. Emma leaves to commune with the spirits. Ralph says he wasn't pretending that he was hurt, he was hurt. Ed talks about Emma talking with Ed's dead relative and telling where the million dollars worth of gold coins are. Gee, I wonder what idea Ralph is going to get. Ralph says that they will be rich. Ralph: "She has supernatural powers." Ralph says that they will join Emma as she talks with Ed's dead relative and have him say where the money is and they will be rich. Ralph slams the doll on the table and says he doesn't feel the pain because he's used to it. The girls come in and Ralph talks about his plan. Alice says that Ralph has lost his mind. Ralph explains what Ed's dead relative did and Emma will talk to him in a séance. Ed: "Because I was the first male Norton to visit here." Trixie: "You are also the first male Norton to visit the nut house." Alice laughs at the thought of Ralph & Ed believing in ghosts. They sing: "We believe in voodoo." Alice says that Ralph is baloney. Ralph tries to prove her wrong by having Norton stick a pin in him. Norton misunderstands and actually sticks a pin in the real Ralph. Ralph is in pain as the girls laugh.
Later on Clarence sets everything up. Emma says that this will be the first séance they have done in a long time. Clarence says that the boys are dumb but the wives are so smart, that they won't fall for the set up. Emma is taking care of that. Emma made Ralph make the girls leave in the room. Emma is going to meditate. Clarence & Emma leave. Ralph & Ed come in. Ralph thinks about them discovering the million coins and because of that, he will be a rich man along with Ed. Ed is talking about talking to other people in séances like who made the sewer etc. Ed & Ralph (sing): "Talk To The Spirits." Emma comes in. She is ready for the séance and they hold hands. Emma asks Ed to turn off the lights, but he forgets to let go of her hand at first. He turns off the lights and stumbles to try to find his seat. They hold hands again. Emma begins the séance. Emma: "Here my spirit. Here me." Ed eats his soup. He got it from the kitchen because he was so nervous. The lights get turned on a little bit. Emma asks for absolute silence. A loud noise is heard. Ed (in regards to the noise): "I think a bay leaf flew over my head." Emma: "I am in the spirit world. Oh great spirit, do you hear me? Do you hear me?" An invisible door on the wall on top of the fire escape opens and Clarence is there. Clarence: "I hear you! I hear you!" The door closes. Emma: "Give us a sign if you are among us." A trumpet floats down and for some reason Ralph & Ed can't see the strings holding it. Clarence through the door plays the Jackie Gleason theme song on the trumpet. The trumpet floats back up and the door closes. Emma asks for the ghost of Juan Layfette Norton to appear. Trixie comes in with a nightgown and a hairnet. Ed doesn't recognize her. Ed: "Are you Juan Layfette Norton?" Trixie: "I'm Trixie Norton. I'm going to brush my teeth." She leaves. Clarence appears through the door and says in a falsetto voice: "Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na." Ralph: "It's him." Ed: "Sounds more like his hairdresser. How's it going? What's new or what's old?" Ralph tells Norton to tell him where the money is. Ed says that when you meet a person that you haven't met in a long time, you should make him feel more at home. That is important to him. Ralph says that if he doesn't ask him where the money is, he will blast Norton into outer space. Clarence (through door): "Gentlemen please." Ralph (seeing Clarence in the door and not knowing that it is him, says): "Stay out of this." It should be noted that Ralph & Ed still don't know that the "spirit" they are talking to is Clarence who's appearing through the door. Ed, seeing Clarence in the door and not knowing that it is him, asks him where the gold-blooms are. Trixie comes out and says that she couldn't find a toothbrush. She exits back where she came from. "Juan" says that in order for him to tell them where the money is, he must get $200. Ed doesn't have the money, but Ralph does. "Juan" accepts the money and a treasure box is lowered. "Juan" says for him to put the oney in the treasure box and remove the map. He does. The treasure box raises and the lights come on after Emma says that the séance is over. Ed: "What will the ghost do with the money" Emma: "Buy towles."
The next day, the girls come in to the séance room. They are MAD at their husbands for doing what they have done. Alice: "Ralph fell for the oldest trick in the world. They have been digging since 9am." Trixie says that they will tell them what Emma really is. The boys come in without the money. I really would have liked to have seen the scene where Ralph & Ed digging for money. Alice: "I see you have brung back your shovel. Where is the sand pail?" Ralph is angry and tells Ed to get some sleep so they will resume digging at 4am. They were digging right where the ghost said the money was buried and they didn't get any money. The girls reveal the real truth and the buttons that Emma pushed to lower & raise the things. Ralph says that him & Ed saw the ghost in the door on top of the fire place. Alice pushed the button that opened and closed the door. Gee, Ralph & Ed saw a dead person looking like he was alive and not dead? Ed: "What button did she use to make Trixie come out of the bathroom." Ralph says that they have been taken. Ed says that they have been taking for $202. They needed the $2 to get the shovel from Clarence. Ralph gets Emma to come into the séance room and says that she cheated him and Ed and the tricks she pulled. Ralph: "You are a fraud." Emma doesn't deny it. Emma says that she did what she did because she was desparate becuase she needed the money to pay the mortgage for the house. The house that she and Clarence ever had. Considering that Clarence looks like he's over 40, shouldn't she already have been done paying the mortgage on the house? Emma: "We are sort of attached to it. I'm sorry." She gives the money back. Alice: "She didn't mean it." Trixie: "It wasn't her fault." The girls sing: "To A Woman, There Is Nothing Like Her Home." Ralph gives the money back to her so she can pay the morgage. She doesn't need it now since she already sold their car. Everybody is still happy.
At the curtain call, Jackie says: "How sweet it is." Ralph says that there was one scene in this episode in which an audience member came on stage while they were filming (only the studio audience saw that) and because of the audience member's involvement, they had to film the whole scene again. Accoring to Jackie, he saw Sammy Spear ready to take the member off the stage with force. Jackie says that the cast held up pretty well under those circumstances and introduced each one of them. When Art comes out, he has a broom and says: "Someone has got to clean up this show." Jackie then praises the Miami Beach audience and says: "Goodnight!"
During the credit roll, Johnny says: "Don't miss next week's episode."
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to "We're Off To See The Wizard", "The Match Game", "Operation: Protest", "Women's Lib" & "A Talk With Trixie."
Once again, the June Taylor Dancers come out and sing: "Welcome To Sun Valley." They are dressed as skiers and most of them have a cast on their foot. I think those broken feet are fake because I am pretty sure if they were, they wouldn't be allowed to dance and in real-life if a person had a broken foot, well they should try to keep weight off of it. After that, they leave. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive at a hotel in snowy Sun Valley, Idaho. They are all very cold because of the conditions. It was Ralph's idea to go to a ski resort for the weekend. Ed Norton is wearing a big long fur coat and a hat. Basically, it's similar to the ensemble that he wore in "Please Leave The Premises." Ed ask Ralph to hold his long fur coat, the coat that he has on underneath it, his scarf, his long-sleeved blue shirt and several hot water bottles. Ed says he had them on so his sandwiches wouldn't get cold, so Ralph challenges him to a fight. The girls get Ralph to calm down. Ralph Kramden gets paged. A Lieutenant McKoy of the L.A. police department comes up to Ralph. He is putting Ralph under arrest. Lieutenant McKoy says that Ralph has been going to fancy hotels and throwing big parties and has been picking up the tab and leaving the hotel without pay. Ralph denies this. McKoy meets Ed Norton and says that Ralph Kramden, the criminal, has been traveling with a companion named Norton. Ed is in the clear but Ralph is in trouble. McKoy also says that Ralph has been writing bad checks in San Francisco, Honolulu, Chicago and Miami Beach. Ed: "What a coincidence. My friend Ralph has been in all those towns." McKoy is going to book him, thrown him in a L.A. jail and keep him in there until his trial comes up. McKoy takes Ralph upstairs so he can talk with him. Alice goes upstairs. Trixie knows that Ralph is not guilty. So does Ed. Trixie says that there must be someone going around looking like Ralph Kramden and doing all those evil things. Ed: "There is one thing that bothers me. Why didn't Ralph invite us to all those parties?" They go upstairs. "Ralph Kramden" (played by Jackie Gleason) & two female friends come in and rings the bell. He claims that he is Ralph Kramden and would like to cash a check for $500. "Ralph's" room is 238. He gives $100 to one of his girl's mother which is the other girl. The girl that "Ralph" gave the money to is Norton. They go inside.
At the jail, Ed Norton arrives to talk to Ralph Kramden. They are in the room where in order for a person to talk to a resident jailbird, the person uses a microphone and they are separated by a glass shield (not sure what that room is called). Ed cleans off his chair and cleans the glass. Ralph comes in typical prison attire for a jailbird. Ed says that the stripes make Ralph look fat. Ed (yells): "HOW ARE YOU DOING RALPH?" Ralph says that he doesn't have to yell, just use the microphone. Ed tests the microphone by singing, so Ralph yells at him to stop. Ralph asks how Alice is doing. Ed says that when he left, that Alice was crying her eyes out not because of Ralph being in jail but her hairdresser cancelled her appointment. Ralph is upset. Ed said that she wants to look nice so when she sees him, which is next Thursday (that's the closest day she could get after she gets her hair done.) Ed: "She tried to get a lawyer, but the lawyer couldn't do anything with her hair." Ralph wants her to get a lawyer so he can get out of here. Ralph says that it is miserable being in jail. Ed tells him to relax since he's only been in jail for 10 minutes. Ed said he asked the people in the poolroom back home to wire money for Ralph's bail. The only trouble is that the telegram came collect. Ralph needs $5,000 bail. Ed has an idea: "Why don't you write a check?" Ralph says he's liable to be in jail for 90 years. Ralph says when he gets out of jail; he isn't going to hate society. He is going back home, get his job back, and when he drives the bus out of the garage, he is going to crash his bus into that poolroom and fix those bums (as Ralph calls them). Ed: "That is the spirit." A Mr. Clark from Pettskill Studios come in and bails Ralph out of jail. Ralph is free until his trial comes up. Ralph goes inside. A Mr. Clark puts Ralph in Ed's custody until the trial comes up. He is supposed to make track of every move that Ralph makes. Mr. Clark leaves. Ed reveals that he is now in charge of looking after Ralph like he's his little brother. The lights dim as Ed (sings): "You're Norton's Little Brother Now." Ed talks to Ralph about the time that they played Pin the Tail on the Donkey and that Ralph always made sure that Ed was the donkey. Ed also remembers the times that he and Ralph played childish games. Ed also remembers the time when he got a catcher's mitt for his eighth birthday. Ralph was there. Ralph said he was going to break it in for him. Ed: "You must have done a good job. I haven't got it back yet." Ha! Ed remembers the time that he and Ralph went out for pizza and to protect him from getting fat, he gave Norton the smallest piece. Ed also remembers the time when they used to do Ring Alevio (somehow MPI's subtitles say: "Unintelligible" when Ed says that.) Ed then continues to sing: "You're Norton's Little Brother Now."
At a restaurant, "Ralph" comes in with his two female friends. They are sitting at the table in the center. "Ralph" orders champagne and caviar. "Ralph" asks two other females from another table to come along and drink with him and his entourage. They gleefully join. "Ralph" and some of the girls (sing): "Living High." The two other girls leave. They have to go to the Y.W.C.A. to play volleyball. "Ralph" says that he will sign a check and leave without paying. "Ralph": "By the time I get to Phoenix, the check will be bouncing all over the place." "Ralph" asks to cash a $500 check in the restaurant. He goes inside with the girls to cash it in. Meanwhile, the Kramdens and Nortons enter the restaurant and sit down at the same center table. The girls love the champagne and caviar at the table that they think is because of Ralph buying it. Ed checks the joint out before Ralph comes in. Ralph is wearing the same exact clothes that "Ralph" is wearing (except for a flower). The same waiter that waited on "Ralph" is waiting on the Kramdens & Nortons. He says to Ralph: "I see you have a couple of new ladies." Ralph doesn't know what he is talking about. Ralph says that they can have whatever they want because Ralph is celebrating tonight. Ralph: "It's a coming out party." Ed: "He was in jail for a bum check rap." Ralph hits him for saying that. The waiter is worried. He goes into the back room where "Ralph" is. Ralph wonders what is wrong with him. Ed said that he and Ralph are to call the studio and tell them where they are. They go into the back room. Trixie is suspicious about things like the champagne. She wonders if Ralph ordered it. Alice said that he did. Alice: "We'll ask him when he comes back." "Ralph" comes out with his female friends. He says he wants to pay the tab and get out. Somehow, Alice & Trixie don't hear this. "Ralph" goes to his table. "Ralph": "What are two young ladies doing at my table?" Alice: "Sit down. Sit down." Alice & Trixie think that it's the real Ralph and Trixie asks if he ordered the champagne. He said that he did. "Ralph": "I always said that champagne attracts pretty faces." Alice: "What has gotten into you?" "Ralph": "It's love." When Trixie asks where Norton is, he says that he is in the ladies room. Oh my! Trixie: "The ladies room?" "Ralph": "Where do you go to powder your nose, the men's room?" "Ralph" kisses Alice and says he has to leave for Phoenix before the banks open. Alice thinks that Ralph has gone crazy. Trixie says that it's because he has been in Ed's custody for a day. Ed comes out and Trixie asks him if he has been in the ladies room powdering his nose. Ed: "Why, is it shiny?" Ralph comes out. Alice asks Ralph how is it possible if he went out one way and came in to the restaurant from the back room. Ralph doesn't know what she is talking about. Alice says that maybe she had too many glasses of champagne. Ed notices the person who arrested Ralph. He invites him over. The lieutenant arrests Ralph again for making checks out to a bank in L.A. that he doesn't have account in. Ralph wonders what is going on. Ralph denies this and they leave with Ralph. Ed denies what the policemen accused Ralph of. Trixie is putting two and two together. She says that Ralph exited through the exit and came back in from the back room. Ed said that he never left Ralph when they went to make that phone call. Trixie said that while they were doing that, Ralph came in smoking a cigar and had a carnation. Trixie: "There are two Ralph's." Ed: "You mean that the weight Ralph lost formed into another person?" Trixie says that there is another Ralph cashing in phony checks and they have to catch him. Ed: "We don't know what he looks like." They all sing: "We Are Going To Find That Dirty Crook." During the song, all of them pretend to be like they are they are trying to find the crook.
The wives arrive at a bar to catch Ralph's double. At the bar is one of the Glea Girls ( think it was Greta Von Hagge) This is the 15th bar that they have been to and they are tired. Ed comes in dressed as a woman. They plan to catch the evil Ralph by having Ed dressed as a woman and have him sign his name on a check. The girls leave. Ed sits down. A drunkard (Frank Fontaine) spots Ed and thinks that he's a woman. Crazy: "Are you one of the June Taylor Dancers?" Ed said no. Crazy: "If you change your mind, I will be at the bar." "Ralph" comes in and sits down at another table. Ed spots him and drops his handkerchief. Ed whistles. "Ralph" hears him and calls "her" a charming young lady. He must need glasses. "She" says she is by herself and was ready for him. "Ralph": "I got a wild one. What is your name, Muscatel?" "Girl": "That is right." "Ralph" offers "her" some champagne. "She" declines the wine because she doesn't accept wine from strangers, but he will ask for a scotch on the rocks and some beer. "Ralph": "I will have a 10 cent glass of Muscatel. This is going to be worth it." (to "her"): "What is that aroma?" "Woman": "It's Clorox. My body stocking is still wet." He asks her what she is doing today. "She" said that she came here to get a drink for her sorrows. "She" isn't in trouble but her grandmother needs an operation. She needs a tattoo of the Grand Canyon removed from her back. Ha! "She": "It will cost $500." "Ralph": "Suppose I give you $50 and we can color in the Grand Canyon?" "She" doesn't like that idea. She needs the $500 and asks him to write a check and "cries" at the thought of him not giving "her" the $500. He accepts it. "Ralph": "I can't stand to see a lady cry." "Muscatel" (in a man's voice): "Neither can I. Write the check." Somehow, "Ralph" isn't suspicious about all this yet. He writes the check just as the wives and the policemen come in. "Ralph" is apprehended and the real Ralph is revealed to be innocent. "Ralph": "Muscatel, would you wait for me." Muscatel: "You know I would." Everyone leaves.
At the same bar later on, the same drunkard (Frank Fontaine) comes in singing and sits down at a table with his beers. The Nortons & Alice come in. Ed ordered champagne to celebrate Ralph's release from jail. Ralph comes in with McKoy as the Nortons & Alice sing: "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow." Ralph asks McKoy about that imposter that looked like him. McKoy says he goes by several different names depending on where he is. Sometimes he is known as Handsome Harry, Gorgeous Jim etc. He leaves. Ralph says that the policemen said he looked like a handsome thief. Ralph: "They arrested me because I had a pretty face." They sing: "Beautiful."
At the curtain call, Jackie introduces the main cast (Ed actually gives him what I think is a headband with a bow) and praises the Miami Beach audience and says "Goodnight!" During the curtain call, Johnny Olsen plugs the next episode by saying: "Don't forget to tune in next week to see 'Reggie and The Red Baron' starring Jackie Gleason, Art Carney & Milton Berle." My guess is that skit aired on a Jackie Gleason Show episode that had no Honeymooners material in it. I wonder why ALN or Paul didn't censor that out because I am sure casual fans would get confused if they didn't get the copy that MPI got. (The MPI copy is unedited but it doesn't have this announcement.)
Episode #202
TV: Hour (edited).
DVD: Attached to "The Match Game", "Double Trouble", "Operation: Protest", "Women's Lib" & "A Talk With Trixie."
In the Nick Clooney intro, Nick says that he was asked a question from a viewer about Shelia MacRae. The person asked if Shelia did any TV shows following the Jackie Gleason Show and whether her and her husband, Gordon did any shows. Nick said yes and the show that she did was Parenthood in '90 and she and her hubby co-hosted the Revlon Review in '60. Nick said he would answer any questions from viewers by going to the website goodtv.com (that is still the website for American Life TV even though it sounds strange). I don't know if you can still ask Nick questions since ALN deleted his intros in March '05.
Before this episode aired, "The Incredible World of Ed Norton" supposedly aired (that includes “The Song Of The Sewer which can be heard here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TKv23td-fw ) I wonder if fans thought that when they saw this episode and said: "I guess they are home now" and got confused when they saw "We Are Off To See The Wizard"?"
As usual, the June Taylor Dancers come out all dressed up in costumes and sing: "Mardi Gras, Mardi Gras." After that, they leave. The Kramdens & Nortons arrive in New Orleans. The guy at the hotel mixed up their reservations. Now they are in need of a room. It's Mardi Gras week and each one of them is filled up. Ed's solution: Going to a furniture store, getting three beds and putting five dollars down on the furniture. Ed: "It's cheaper than a hotel." Ralph says that is crazy. Ralph: "Where are we going to put the four beds? We don't have a room." Ed: "We go to a costume place, put the beds on a float and dress up as the three bears." Ralph: "We can't do that. There are four of us." Ed: "Pleased to meet you Goldilocks." Ralph: "You are going to be Sleeping Beauty." Trixie says that Ed has a relative down here. Ed looks up her address. Ed: “I think her name is Emma Beauregard. That means I have to look under the Rs.” Ralph: “Her last name is Beauregard and you have to look under the Rs?” Ed: “Her middle name is Beau and her last name is Regard.” That is what the subtitles on the MPI DVD say. He can’t find the address, so he asks a person to help them find the place. Ed: "Can you direct me to P.O. Box 263?" Ralph spots the address. It's Jambolia Lane Route 47. Alice suggests them renting a car and asking the guy at the office where the car is. A guy comes up dressed as Goldilocks (it's probably Sammy Spear) and has a balloon. Guy: "I can't find a room. Did you see a float go by with three bears on it?" Ed (pointing to his right): "I think they went that way." Guy: "Thank you." They leave.
At Ed Norton's relative's broken-down house, the camera zooms in on a signs that say lucky charms and voodoo stuff. It turns out that Ed's relative is a spiritualist. A guy named Clarence comes around. The audience claps for him. Mr. Morgan comes around and greets Clarence. Clarence offers him a voodoo doll, a rabbit's foot and a magic ring. He says no. Mr. Morgan asks him to get his mother out. The mortgage is due on the house. She comes out and it's the same lady who played Alice's Aunt Ethel. She is wearing some long necklaces. Mr. Morgan asks for the $200 for the mortgage. She says no but she will get in touch with her father so he can tell her where the money is. Mr. Morgan says he wants the money by Tuesday or he will take over the house. Mr. Morgan says that he doesn't believe in all that mumbo jumbo (her witchcraft). The only thing he believes in is $200. He leaves. Clarence is worried that he will take the house away. Mom: "It's such a shame since we got it fixed up." A car horn is heard and it's Ralph driving with Ed & the girls pushing it. What a lazy person that Ralph is. Ralph: "You can stop pushing. I'm tired of steering." Ralph got them all a cheap car and it ran out of gas. It turns out that Ralph didn't buy enough. Ed: "You should be grateful to him. When that alligator came out of the swamp, Ralph said: 'Push faster. He's gaining on us.'" They run into Clarence. Clarence sells them a rabbit foot, voodoo dolls. He introduces his mom as Emma. Emma: "My name is Emma Bo Regard." Ralph: "We are just down here for a few days to see the Mardi Gras." Emma: "The parade doesn't pass here." Ralph: "We will pay you for anything you get." Ralph offers her $200 for a room. Emma agrees to let them stay, put turns down the money. Alice introduces her & Trixie. They go inside to make themselves at home. Clarence carries their luggage and asks her why she turned him down. Emma says that she is going to use her supernatural powers and call upon the spirit world. If that doesn't work, she will use voodoo. If that doesn't work, she will use black magic. If that happens, she will use her most powerful weapon: Sex. Clarence: "Don't do it Ma. I can't stand seeing him put his paws on you." Emma says that everyone believes in the supernatural. Clarence & Emma sing: "Need A Little Helping Hand." Ed asks Emma if they can have the soup that is in the kitchen. She says yes. Emma: "The spirits are working already."
In the dining room, Ralph & Ed are eating soup. Ed is making noise because he has a bay leaf in his teeth. Ralph asks Emma if she can make another bowl of soup. She says no she can't for another month because there will be a full moon. Emma is glad that a Norton is here. Emma wants to find out where are her gold-blooms (gold coins). Emma: "There is a million dollars worth." Ralph says if that is so, why her and Clarence doesn’t dig them up. Emma says because the land is a swamp. Emma says that the famous pirate, Juan-Layette Norton, buried them 200 years ago. He said that he wouldn't reveal them until the first male Norton visited her house. Emma says that she can use her mystic powers to call Juan and have him tell where the money is. Ralph: "Call after 9pm. The rates are much cheaper then." Emma knows that Ralph doesn't believe the spirit world. Emma knows that Ralph is skeptical so she made a voodoo doll of Ralph (I wonder if that doll was a real toy that was marketed.) Ralph: "It looks like me." Emma says it isn't made to be cute. Emma: "Whatever happens to this doll will happen to you." Ralph doesn't believe her and leaves the room. Emma sticks something in Ralph and Ralph screams in pain. Ralph comes back in and says that he felt pain. Ralph still doesn't believe the voodoo mumbo-jumbo. Ralph sticks the pin in the doll and as he's doing it Clarence sneaks up behind him and drives a pin into Ralph's backside. Ralph & Ed don't notice. Emma leaves to commune with the spirits. Ralph says he wasn't pretending that he was hurt, he was hurt. Ed talks about Emma talking with Ed's dead relative and telling where the million dollars worth of gold coins are. Gee, I wonder what idea Ralph is going to get. Ralph says that they will be rich. Ralph: "She has supernatural powers." Ralph says that they will join Emma as she talks with Ed's dead relative and have him say where the money is and they will be rich. Ralph slams the doll on the table and says he doesn't feel the pain because he's used to it. The girls come in and Ralph talks about his plan. Alice says that Ralph has lost his mind. Ralph explains what Ed's dead relative did and Emma will talk to him in a séance. Ed: "Because I was the first male Norton to visit here." Trixie: "You are also the first male Norton to visit the nut house." Alice laughs at the thought of Ralph & Ed believing in ghosts. They sing: "We believe in voodoo." Alice says that Ralph is baloney. Ralph tries to prove her wrong by having Norton stick a pin in him. Norton misunderstands and actually sticks a pin in the real Ralph. Ralph is in pain as the girls laugh.
Later on Clarence sets everything up. Emma says that this will be the first séance they have done in a long time. Clarence says that the boys are dumb but the wives are so smart, that they won't fall for the set up. Emma is taking care of that. Emma made Ralph make the girls leave in the room. Emma is going to meditate. Clarence & Emma leave. Ralph & Ed come in. Ralph thinks about them discovering the million coins and because of that, he will be a rich man along with Ed. Ed is talking about talking to other people in séances like who made the sewer etc. Ed & Ralph (sing): "Talk To The Spirits." Emma comes in. She is ready for the séance and they hold hands. Emma asks Ed to turn off the lights, but he forgets to let go of her hand at first. He turns off the lights and stumbles to try to find his seat. They hold hands again. Emma begins the séance. Emma: "Here my spirit. Here me." Ed eats his soup. He got it from the kitchen because he was so nervous. The lights get turned on a little bit. Emma asks for absolute silence. A loud noise is heard. Ed (in regards to the noise): "I think a bay leaf flew over my head." Emma: "I am in the spirit world. Oh great spirit, do you hear me? Do you hear me?" An invisible door on the wall on top of the fire escape opens and Clarence is there. Clarence: "I hear you! I hear you!" The door closes. Emma: "Give us a sign if you are among us." A trumpet floats down and for some reason Ralph & Ed can't see the strings holding it. Clarence through the door plays the Jackie Gleason theme song on the trumpet. The trumpet floats back up and the door closes. Emma asks for the ghost of Juan Layfette Norton to appear. Trixie comes in with a nightgown and a hairnet. Ed doesn't recognize her. Ed: "Are you Juan Layfette Norton?" Trixie: "I'm Trixie Norton. I'm going to brush my teeth." She leaves. Clarence appears through the door and says in a falsetto voice: "Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na." Ralph: "It's him." Ed: "Sounds more like his hairdresser. How's it going? What's new or what's old?" Ralph tells Norton to tell him where the money is. Ed says that when you meet a person that you haven't met in a long time, you should make him feel more at home. That is important to him. Ralph says that if he doesn't ask him where the money is, he will blast Norton into outer space. Clarence (through door): "Gentlemen please." Ralph (seeing Clarence in the door and not knowing that it is him, says): "Stay out of this." It should be noted that Ralph & Ed still don't know that the "spirit" they are talking to is Clarence who's appearing through the door. Ed, seeing Clarence in the door and not knowing that it is him, asks him where the gold-blooms are. Trixie comes out and says that she couldn't find a toothbrush. She exits back where she came from. "Juan" says that in order for him to tell them where the money is, he must get $200. Ed doesn't have the money, but Ralph does. "Juan" accepts the money and a treasure box is lowered. "Juan" says for him to put the oney in the treasure box and remove the map. He does. The treasure box raises and the lights come on after Emma says that the séance is over. Ed: "What will the ghost do with the money" Emma: "Buy towles."
The next day, the girls come in to the séance room. They are MAD at their husbands for doing what they have done. Alice: "Ralph fell for the oldest trick in the world. They have been digging since 9am." Trixie says that they will tell them what Emma really is. The boys come in without the money. I really would have liked to have seen the scene where Ralph & Ed digging for money. Alice: "I see you have brung back your shovel. Where is the sand pail?" Ralph is angry and tells Ed to get some sleep so they will resume digging at 4am. They were digging right where the ghost said the money was buried and they didn't get any money. The girls reveal the real truth and the buttons that Emma pushed to lower & raise the things. Ralph says that him & Ed saw the ghost in the door on top of the fire place. Alice pushed the button that opened and closed the door. Gee, Ralph & Ed saw a dead person looking like he was alive and not dead? Ed: "What button did she use to make Trixie come out of the bathroom." Ralph says that they have been taken. Ed says that they have been taking for $202. They needed the $2 to get the shovel from Clarence. Ralph gets Emma to come into the séance room and says that she cheated him and Ed and the tricks she pulled. Ralph: "You are a fraud." Emma doesn't deny it. Emma says that she did what she did because she was desparate becuase she needed the money to pay the mortgage for the house. The house that she and Clarence ever had. Considering that Clarence looks like he's over 40, shouldn't she already have been done paying the mortgage on the house? Emma: "We are sort of attached to it. I'm sorry." She gives the money back. Alice: "She didn't mean it." Trixie: "It wasn't her fault." The girls sing: "To A Woman, There Is Nothing Like Her Home." Ralph gives the money back to her so she can pay the morgage. She doesn't need it now since she already sold their car. Everybody is still happy.
At the curtain call, Jackie says: "How sweet it is." Ralph says that there was one scene in this episode in which an audience member came on stage while they were filming (only the studio audience saw that) and because of the audience member's involvement, they had to film the whole scene again. Accoring to Jackie, he saw Sammy Spear ready to take the member off the stage with force. Jackie says that the cast held up pretty well under those circumstances and introduced each one of them. When Art comes out, he has a broom and says: "Someone has got to clean up this show." Jackie then praises the Miami Beach audience and says: "Goodnight!"
During the credit roll, Johnny says: "Don't miss next week's episode."