tv star collector
10-09-2008, 06:28 PM
Bob Hope counted among his friends eleven U.S. Presidents, from Franklin
Roosevelt to Bill Clinton. Here are some excerpts from his 1996 book, Dear
Prez, I Wanna Tell Ya!:
Thank God they had a sense of humor or I'd probably be writing this book on
Leavenworth stationery.
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties.
Roosevelt was the first president I met personally. The rest told me to mail my
taxes in.
[Truman] rules the country with an iron fist...the same way he plays the piano.
Everybody's excited about General Eisenhower running for president. Of
course, being a busy general, he'll probably have a staff sergeant run for him.
And I happen to know why he's running for president. It's the only way he can
get out of the Army.
[The Eisenhowers depart the White House:]
Of course, everyone's wondering what Ike is going to do after he leaves the
presidency--he's too old to re-enlist.
I must say [Senator John F. Kennedy]'s victory in Wisconsin was a triumph
for democracy. It proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as
anybody else.
I like giving youth a chance, but do we really want a president who rides for
half fare on the bus?
Wasn't that a wonderful meeting at the White House between Eisenhower and
Kennedy? Eisenhower said, "Congratulations on your victory," and Kennedy
replied, "I had to win. It's so tough these days to find a place that'll take
children."
One of the things that LBJ likes to do is to drive at unholy speeds across the
state of Texas. Well, he was doing about 95 when this cop pulls him over and,
without looking, starts to write him a ticket. As LBJ cranked down the window,
the stricken officer realized his mistake:
"Oh, my God," he moaned.
"You'd better believe it," snapped the president.
[Re Johnson's proposed national budget, $196 billion:]
It was a typical Texan's budget. It balances perfectly providing they strike oil
under the White House.
[Reported feud between LBJ and Bobby Kennedy:]
Actually, the president and Bobby Kennedy are very good friends. They lunched together only yesterday. LBJ picked up the check...and Bobby paid the food taster.
Can you imagine a Texan having a conversation with a New Englander? I wonder who the interpreter was.
[There were many hopefuls in the race for the presidency in 1968:]
The Republicans are offering choices for the voters: They've got Reagan, who
is a right-of-the-roader; Nixon, who's a left-of the roader; and Rockefeller,
who owns the gas stations on it.
[Comments about Nixon's pending visit to China in 1972:]
He's been practicing eating with chopsticks. He hasn't got anything in his
mouth yet, but he's started two fires.
[After winning the 1972 election by a landslide, one of Nixon's first acts was
to change his Cabinet:]
...But I think Dr. Kissinger will be staying on. It's not easy to find a doctor who makes house calls all over the world.
It's not hard to find Jerry Ford on a golf course--you just follow the wounded.
Mr. Carter spent 30 years growing peanuts, and now he's got a whole Congress that sticks to the roof of his mouth.
The Inaugural Ball had a Southern flavor. It was the first time "Hail to the
Chief" was played on a jug and washboard.
[President Carter had a radio talk show where the public could have a one-on-
one chat with their president:]
Billy Carter tried to call in, but it's pretty hard to reach the White House from
Plains, Georgia, just talking through a beer can and a string.
Reagan claims that if he's elected he'll give up acting--what a sneaky way of
getting votes...But it's now or never for Reagan. Let's face it, it may be a
hundred years before that hairdo's in style again.
Did you see that President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been
telling Reagan to get one for years--but he couldn't hear them.
George Bush will soon be sworn in, but I still have to come to grips with
whether he'll repeat the oath or we'll have to read his lips.
Clinton's going to Washington,
Arkansas folks are thrilled to the core,
They won't have to hear him practice
on that saxophone anymore.
Having a saxophone player in the White House could be interesting. He may
not pull us ouf of the recession, but while the country is singing the blues,
he can play along.
Roosevelt to Bill Clinton. Here are some excerpts from his 1996 book, Dear
Prez, I Wanna Tell Ya!:
Thank God they had a sense of humor or I'd probably be writing this book on
Leavenworth stationery.
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties.
Roosevelt was the first president I met personally. The rest told me to mail my
taxes in.
[Truman] rules the country with an iron fist...the same way he plays the piano.
Everybody's excited about General Eisenhower running for president. Of
course, being a busy general, he'll probably have a staff sergeant run for him.
And I happen to know why he's running for president. It's the only way he can
get out of the Army.
[The Eisenhowers depart the White House:]
Of course, everyone's wondering what Ike is going to do after he leaves the
presidency--he's too old to re-enlist.
I must say [Senator John F. Kennedy]'s victory in Wisconsin was a triumph
for democracy. It proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as
anybody else.
I like giving youth a chance, but do we really want a president who rides for
half fare on the bus?
Wasn't that a wonderful meeting at the White House between Eisenhower and
Kennedy? Eisenhower said, "Congratulations on your victory," and Kennedy
replied, "I had to win. It's so tough these days to find a place that'll take
children."
One of the things that LBJ likes to do is to drive at unholy speeds across the
state of Texas. Well, he was doing about 95 when this cop pulls him over and,
without looking, starts to write him a ticket. As LBJ cranked down the window,
the stricken officer realized his mistake:
"Oh, my God," he moaned.
"You'd better believe it," snapped the president.
[Re Johnson's proposed national budget, $196 billion:]
It was a typical Texan's budget. It balances perfectly providing they strike oil
under the White House.
[Reported feud between LBJ and Bobby Kennedy:]
Actually, the president and Bobby Kennedy are very good friends. They lunched together only yesterday. LBJ picked up the check...and Bobby paid the food taster.
Can you imagine a Texan having a conversation with a New Englander? I wonder who the interpreter was.
[There were many hopefuls in the race for the presidency in 1968:]
The Republicans are offering choices for the voters: They've got Reagan, who
is a right-of-the-roader; Nixon, who's a left-of the roader; and Rockefeller,
who owns the gas stations on it.
[Comments about Nixon's pending visit to China in 1972:]
He's been practicing eating with chopsticks. He hasn't got anything in his
mouth yet, but he's started two fires.
[After winning the 1972 election by a landslide, one of Nixon's first acts was
to change his Cabinet:]
...But I think Dr. Kissinger will be staying on. It's not easy to find a doctor who makes house calls all over the world.
It's not hard to find Jerry Ford on a golf course--you just follow the wounded.
Mr. Carter spent 30 years growing peanuts, and now he's got a whole Congress that sticks to the roof of his mouth.
The Inaugural Ball had a Southern flavor. It was the first time "Hail to the
Chief" was played on a jug and washboard.
[President Carter had a radio talk show where the public could have a one-on-
one chat with their president:]
Billy Carter tried to call in, but it's pretty hard to reach the White House from
Plains, Georgia, just talking through a beer can and a string.
Reagan claims that if he's elected he'll give up acting--what a sneaky way of
getting votes...But it's now or never for Reagan. Let's face it, it may be a
hundred years before that hairdo's in style again.
Did you see that President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been
telling Reagan to get one for years--but he couldn't hear them.
George Bush will soon be sworn in, but I still have to come to grips with
whether he'll repeat the oath or we'll have to read his lips.
Clinton's going to Washington,
Arkansas folks are thrilled to the core,
They won't have to hear him practice
on that saxophone anymore.
Having a saxophone player in the White House could be interesting. He may
not pull us ouf of the recession, but while the country is singing the blues,
he can play along.