"The Loudspeaker":

(Ralph slips on the rock candy that Ed put down.)

Ralph (yells): "ROCK CANDY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME OR SOMETHING NORTON?"

Ed (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? YOU GOT RID OF THE HIC-
OFFS, DIDN'T YOU?"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Trixie: "My Ed has more brains in his little finger then Ralph has in his whole head."

Ralph: "He's still an idiot."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Ralph: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and I."

Ed: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and anybody."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

Doctor: "I notice that you have a slight limp. Is that disability permanent?"

Ralph: "No, it isn't. I got it this morning. I hit myself with a hammer."

Doctor: "You hit yourself with a hammer?"

Ralph: "Don't get the wrong idea. Ed hit my leg with the hammer."

"Norton Moves In" (Color version):

Ralph: "They are going upstairs."

Alice: "They are staying here."

Ralph (yells): "THEY ARE GOING UPSTAIRS."

Alice: "They are going upstairs over my dead body."

Ralph: "Don't tempt me."

"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ralph: "I'm not giving her this, boy. It's the first chance I've had any money of my own. You don't know what I have to go through when I wanna get something. A couple of months ago I wanted to get a bowling ball, you never saw such a riot take place. Arguing, screaming, yelling, ranting and raving! I finally had to say to her, "Now look, I'm the master of this house,..." (yells): "...GIVE ME THE MONEY FOR THE BOWLING BALL!!" (normally): "Then about three weeks ago I wanted to get a fishing rod, the same thing all over again. A couple of days ago I wanted to get a wallet. She started in all night, all day, all the next night and all the next day! I had to put my foot down again, I said..." (yells): "GIVE ME THE MONEY!!" (normally): "This time I'm keeping the money and I'm gonna get what I want, without any beefin'."

Ed: "What are you gonna get with it?"

Ralph: "A bowling ball, a fishing rod and a wallet!!!"

"The $99,000 Answer":

Ralph: "This time I am going to get my pot of gold."

Alice: "Just go for the gold. You already got the pot."

"A Man's Pride":

Ralph: "I promise you this, Norton... I'm gonna learn, I gonna learn from here on in how to swallow my pride."

Ed: "That shouldn't be so hard, you've learned how to swallow everything else!"

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

(Ralph wants to get Alice so they can appear on "Beat The Clock." They are at the hospital awaiting Alice's syster to give birth.)

Nurse: "Mrs. Kramden, you can't leave."

Alice: "Helen already had the baby."

Nurse: "Only the first one. She is going to have twins."

Ralph: "This proves it. I suspected it all along. Your sister hates me."