I'm not a party person. Especially if the party is for me because that means I actually have to be there. This is something that happens to me all the time; if I show up for a party it makes up for 2 that I didn't attend the last time. So when I tell somebody I'm going to John's party, Mary gets mad because I didn't go to hers.

"Oh well, you never showed up to my party!":rolleyes:

Maybe next time I should say

"Oh well, that's because I think you suck!"

Sorry but if you keep track who comes to your party; your more insecure than me and I'm the one with the social anxiety!!!

I'm a party person but there are some I really want to skip and other just go to to make an appearance.

How about having an arsenal of good excuses why you can't: had to get something ready for work, had to visit a sick relative, not feeling well, upset stomach, had to do a favor for someone & time conflicted etc. I'm lucky in that I can use the work excuse often since my job is not a typical 9-5 and can involve having to do events on a weekend or an evening. And make sure nobody can catch you in a lie if the excuse is a lie.

Not that you really owe anyone an excuse, but if you have good ones it gets you off the hook and prevents any ill feelings.

But you're right that nobody s/b keeping score. I bet Miss Manners would proclaim that rude - but - if you like "Mary" and those like her and you want to stay friends with them the excuses might help.

Interested to hear what others think. Good luck because when you dislike parties but sort of feel you have to get to them - it is a really sucky drain of energy.

I am not a party person at all. There's a work party every year and I have never gone to one. I have social anxiety too, and I can't stand the thought of sitting around looking awkward because I don't have anyone to talk to. Plus, just standing around talking is so pointless to me.

If I never go to another party, I won't be sad.

I'm not really into big parties either...I'm more into cutesy, themed parties with two or three close friends (like an 80's party or something like that). I don't really drink all that much (maybe here and there), so I have no need to go to a big party for the goal of getting smashed (plus, you can't really socialize with people anyway since they're drunk, so what's the point?)