tv star collector
09-04-2008, 06:44 PM
Here are some gems from their classic radio program ...
GEORGE: Well, Gracie, I'm sorry to hear about your missing brother.
GRACIE: Oh, that's too bad, George .. because my brother is missing,
too.
GEORGE: I still would like to know how is your brother?
GRACIE: My brother? Well, I think they ought to open up all the prisons -- it
would help prosperity.
GEORGE: Wait a minute! -- That's the wrong answer!
GRACIE: No, that's the right answer .. But you asked the wrong question.
************
GEORGE: You got a letter from your cousin Bessie. What does she say?
GRACIE: She's just fine .. But her son Willie--
GEORGE: That's the one with the high blood pressure. He sleeps on the floor
to keep his blood pressure down. Smart kid. What does she say?
GRACIE: He broke his back.
GEORGE: He broke his back? How did it happen?
GRACIE: You see, he had a doughnut in his right-hand pocket, and he reached
to get it with his left hand and--
GEORGE: He broke his back?
GRACIE: Yeah.
GEORGE: Well, you tell Bessie to tell Willie the next time he's carrying a doughnut in his right-hand pocket to try to take it out with his right hand.
GRACIE: Yeah ... But that's hard to do when you've got your pants on
backwards.
GEORGE: He had his pants on backwards ...
GRACIE: You see, he had two pairs of pants .. And he put one pair on frontwards and one pair on backwards --
GEORGE: So that he could go either way?
GRACIE: That's when the truck hit him.
GEORGE: The truck -- what truck?
GRACIE: The truck that didn't have its lights lit.
GEORGE: Why didn't the truck have its lights lit?
GRACIE: He didn't have to .. It was daytime.
GEORGE: ... But the fella in the truck .. Didn't he see Willie coming?
GRACIE: He didn't know it was Willie ... He saw two pairs of pants
coming and he drove between 'em!
GEORGE: Well, Gracie, I'm sorry to hear about your missing brother.
GRACIE: Oh, that's too bad, George .. because my brother is missing,
too.
GEORGE: I still would like to know how is your brother?
GRACIE: My brother? Well, I think they ought to open up all the prisons -- it
would help prosperity.
GEORGE: Wait a minute! -- That's the wrong answer!
GRACIE: No, that's the right answer .. But you asked the wrong question.
************
GEORGE: You got a letter from your cousin Bessie. What does she say?
GRACIE: She's just fine .. But her son Willie--
GEORGE: That's the one with the high blood pressure. He sleeps on the floor
to keep his blood pressure down. Smart kid. What does she say?
GRACIE: He broke his back.
GEORGE: He broke his back? How did it happen?
GRACIE: You see, he had a doughnut in his right-hand pocket, and he reached
to get it with his left hand and--
GEORGE: He broke his back?
GRACIE: Yeah.
GEORGE: Well, you tell Bessie to tell Willie the next time he's carrying a doughnut in his right-hand pocket to try to take it out with his right hand.
GRACIE: Yeah ... But that's hard to do when you've got your pants on
backwards.
GEORGE: He had his pants on backwards ...
GRACIE: You see, he had two pairs of pants .. And he put one pair on frontwards and one pair on backwards --
GEORGE: So that he could go either way?
GRACIE: That's when the truck hit him.
GEORGE: The truck -- what truck?
GRACIE: The truck that didn't have its lights lit.
GEORGE: Why didn't the truck have its lights lit?
GRACIE: He didn't have to .. It was daytime.
GEORGE: ... But the fella in the truck .. Didn't he see Willie coming?
GRACIE: He didn't know it was Willie ... He saw two pairs of pants
coming and he drove between 'em!