"On Stage":

Ralph (reading the script and walking towards the window): "'Come here, my dear. Look out there Rachael. Say yes and all of that is yours."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph: "What's so funny?"

Ed: "What does Rachael want with a back of a Chinese restaurant and a
pizzeria?"

"People's Choice Part 1":

Ed: "You should go down to my Uncle's place in New Jersey. 'Bullets' will never find you there."

Ralph: "He won't?"

Ed: "No, I have been going down there for the past three Sundays in a row. I can't even find the place myself."

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

Ed: "As long as I am in an executive in that bus company, you are sure of being a bus driver as long as you live."

(Ralph gets up and signals for Ed to leave.)

Ed: "This is no way..."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!!!!!!!!!"

"House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"):

Ralph: "What's the matter with you? Here my home is being broken up, my happiness destroyed and you want to know if I'm ready to go bowling?

Ed: "Sorry Ralph. How about shootin' a little some pool?"

"One Big Happy Family":

Ed (yells): "RALPH, I LEFT THE SOAP ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR."

Ralph (from bathroom, yells): "WHAT?"

Ed (yells): "I SAID THAT I..."

Ralph (from bathroom, yells): "I CAN'T HEAR YOU. TALK TO ME LATER."

Ralph (slipping on the soap,
yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"One Big Happy Family":

Man (from upstairs, yells): "KNOCK OFF THE NOISE DOWN THERE!"

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP BEFORE I REPORT YOU TO THE SUPERINTENDENT."

Man (from upstairs, yells): "I AM THE SUPERINTENDENT."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Trixie & Ed enter into the pool room. Ralph & Alice are already in the pool room. Ralph and Ed are in the middle of a fight.)

Ralph: "I didn't know anything escaped from the zoo today."

Ed: "If it was an elephant, I can tell them where to look."

"Without Reservations":

(Ralph and Ed are in the run-down hotel.)

Ralph: "Would you stop with the wisecracks Norton? When the girls get here I wanna make a good impression!"

Ed: "If you wanna make a good impression, keep the door shut!"

"Flushing Ho":

Alice: "This morning, he (Ed) will use the bathroom first. The next morning, you will use the bathroom first."

Ralph: "There's the solution to my whole problem. Now, I will only be late every OTHER day."