"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Trixie: "Ed, did your first day really go well?"

Ed: "It was a dark, dark day."

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Trixie: "You sold an iron to my mother."

Ed: "Not your mother. My mother. Tomorrow, it's your mother."

"Hair To A Fortune":

(Ralph & Ed are making the hair-making formula in a bowl.)

Ralph: "You stupid stupe. You made me poor the beer in the bowl."

Ed: "Why are you calling me stupid for? I wouldn't have done it."

"What's Her Name" & "What's The Name":

Ralph: "Who was the dame we saw in the picture tonight? Mention the stars names."

Ed: "Gary Coleman. Lana Turner."

(Ed slightly pauses.)

Ralph: "Keep going."

Ed: "You keep going. I am still thinking of Lana Turner."

"Lawsuit":

(Ralph tries to put some weight on his bad leg while Ed is cracking walnuts. Ralph doesn't know what Ed is doing.)

Ralph (yells): "I BROKE IT AGAIN ALICE! I BROKE IT."

Alice: "That was Norton cracking walnuts."

Ralph (to Ed): "You are a mental case."

"Norton Moves In" (Color version):

(Ralph is yelling about the fact that the Nortons are staying for the night becasue the Nortons apartment stinks of new paint.)

Alice: "Ralph, not so loud. You will wake the neighbors."

Ralph: "Maybe they have to get their apartments painted too. We will all grab a brush and have a ball."

"Norton Moves In":

(Ralph gets hurt by Norton's lit cigarette that Norton accidently dropped.)

Alice: "What happened?"

Ralph (yells): "NORTON WANTED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE."

Alice: "So?"

Ralph: "He used me for an ashtray."

"Boy Next Door":

(Ralph says that he will act surprized when the Nortons give him his birthday present.)

Alice: "I can just picture you. You'll say: 'For me, just what I always wanted. A watch.'"

Ralph: "Ah ha! So, it's a watch."

Alice: "It is not. It's a belt."

(Alice is a bit upset for spilling the beans.)

Ralph: "A belt? Pretty small gift."

Alice: "Not with what you have to wrap it around."

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Ralph: "Norton, you play gin rummy your way and I'll play gin rummy my way. My way is the scientific way - it takes a lot of figuring. For instance, I noticed that you picked up a queen, and I know you picked it up to make a run of three queens. I also know that you have a run of clubs. I also noticed that you threw away two sevens. Therefore, you couldn't possibly use the card I'm about to throw down which is a seven of spades. That's scientific figuring!"

Ed: "That's ever-lovin' gin!"