"TV or Not TV":

Ralph: "You once said: 'Ralph, I would be happy to live in a tent with you.'"

Alice: "I still am. I think it would be an improvement."

"Love Letter":

Mrs. Paterson: "This person spells beauty. B-u-t-e-y."

Ed: "That is the way I spell it."

Mrs. Paterson: "It is spelled b-e-a-u-t-y."

Ralph: "Why did you tell him. Why didn't you let him wallow in his own ignorance?"

"Songwriters":

Ed: "If Rogers ever treated Hammerstein like this, there would be no Some Enchanted Evening."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Play It Again, Norton":

Ed: "Ralph, I think I am sitting on a splinter."

Ralph: "Stay there."

"Without Reservations":

Ralph (yells): "GRAB A MOP AND START MOPPING."

Alice: "Only if I use you as a mop."

Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO COUNT TO FIVE AND IF YOU ARE NOT MOPPING WHEN I COUNT TO FIVE, LOOK OUT. ONE! THERE YOU ARE. THAT'S ONE…TWO, THERE'S TWO. ONE! TWO! THREE IS COMING NEXT…THREE! AFTER THREE COMES FOUR. FOUR IS NEXT. YOU KNOW FOUR IS NEXT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS NEXT?"

Alice: "Why don't you say it?"

Ralph (yells): "FIVE! ALL RIGHT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. THE NEXT TIME YOU BLEACH YOUR HAIR, I WON'T TOUCH YOUR ROOTS."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

Ralph: "You want proof that I'm crazy? My leg won't go up."

Alice: "Your leg won't go up?"

Ralph: "That's right. I hit it with a hammer, but it didn't go up."

"A Dog's Life":

Alice: "Do you realize that you Raccoons have more emergency meetings than the U.N.?"

Ralph: "It turns out that the Raccoons have more emergencies than the U.N."

"Guest Speaker":

(Ed comes in and sees Ralph in his Raccoon uniform.)

Ed: "What happened Ralph, did you get drafted?"

Ralph: "No, I didn't get drafted. I'm a Raccoon."

Ed: "Well, I am a butterfly and I'm flying out of here."

"The Loudspeaker":

(Ralph slips on the rock candy that Ed put down.)

Ralph (yells): "ROCK CANDY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME OR SOMETHING NORTON?"

Ed (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? YOU GOT RID OF THE HIC-OFFS, DIDN'T YOU?"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"