"Young At Heart":

Alice: "How can you be so 'icky'?"

Ralph: "Icky?"

Alice: "You are a termite Ralph. Strickly out of the wood."

"A Man's Pride":

Alice: "Why can't we go to the Colonade Room?"

Ralph: "Name me one truck driver who eats there?"

"One Big Happy Family":

Alice: "One morning, Ed will use the bathroom first. The next morning, you will use the bathroom first."

Ralph: "Well, that solves my whole problem. Now, I will only be late every OTHER day."

"Finders Keepers":

(Ralph & Ed are playing pinball.)

Ed: "You can still come up empty you know."

Ralph: "The only thing empty around here is your head."

"The Main Event":

Ralph: "You want my salary to leak out?"

Alice: "Your salary couldn't even drip out."

"The Man From Space":

Ralph: "If you see me coming down the street, get on the other side."

Ed: "When you walk down the street, there AIN'T no other side."

"King of The Castle":

(Alice & Trixie are in Trixie's apartment. From the hallway, Ralph is moaning. Ralph is trying to play the sympathy routine. Alice is on it.)

Alice: "If I don't pay attention, the moan is going to come in spurts like this:
'Whoooa-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho!"

Ralph (from hallway, moans loudly): "WHOOOA-HO-HO-HO-HO! WHOOOA-HO-HO-HO-HO!"

"Confusion, Italian Style":

(Ralph is thinking that Alice is seeing a boy named Harry Vederchi because he heard her on the phone talking to him and he thinks that is his name when she said 'Arribaderchi.' Ralph tells her what is wrong with him.)

Ralph: "All right. Harry Vederchi."

Alice: "All right, good-bye."

"The Worry Wart":

Alice: "Ralph, you are not the first person to be investigated by the government."

Ed: "She's right. The jails are full of them."