Its time for the first annual UM Pageant - This year we will be doing an adaptation of the world renowned play "A Carpenter Without Cuts On His Hands Is Not A Carpenter (He's An Observer)"

So everyone choose up parts and then maybe we can develop some sort of half baked script. I'm going to reserve the part of everyone's favorite internet hack "Dark Dante" for myself and I assume Crystaldawn will assume the role of "Missy Munday" because she and Missy have a lot in common.

Lets get the ball rolling...

I'm going to reserve the part of everyone's favorite internet hack "Dark Dante" for myself and I assume Crystaldawn will assume the role of "Missy Munday" because she and Missy have a lot in common.



Well its so tough for me because you know how much I admire Missy Munday but then again Diane Brodbeck is such a pillar of society, I admire her as well....:p

Well I think JS should play his hero Jule Caylor. Ididn'tdoit would of course play Paul Pollis. I think who plays the Wheeler twin will probably need to hold auditions for since obviously so many people will want to play him.

Perhaps we could have a famous guest star. . .

I would like to see Donnie Hansen played by rap artist "Ludacris"! :lol:

Duh....I totally forgot. Of course Todd Mueller would play Todd Mueller. :lol:

I'm not very good at acting, so I should probably play Tim McClure

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm not very good at acting, so I should probably play Tim McClure

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Hahaha, good one wiseguy! :lol:

Hahaha, good one wiseguy! :lol:

thanks. :wave:

I'm not very good at acting, so I should probably play Tim McClure

:lol: :lol: :lol:

BEAUTIFUL!

Make sure you have your costume ready. Either a tuxedo and jeans will work, or a pink shaker sweater over a red turtleneck! :lol:

Does anyone care to nominate me for a role? I cant wait to see what I will be nominated for :lol: .

BEAUTIFUL!

Make sure you have your costume ready. Either a tuxedo and jeans will work, or a pink shaker sweater over a red turtleneck! :lol:

:lol:

thanks. I'll also have to check into growing a mullet. :lol:

for my role, I only have to memorize one line:

"I'm not sure how that could have happened."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Does anyone care to nominate me for a role? I cant wait to see what I will be nominated for :lol: .

You will be a wisened old member of the Stackville Height's wealthiest family...the "Polpollis'". The older members of the family are powerful, scheming, and manipulative, yet totally unassailable because of the family's position and connections. The younger members are drug addled dolphin lovers.

Twenty years ago you left the town in disgrace, publicly denouncing the town and your family and going on the road with a travelling experimental psychadelic rock band following in the tradition of the Grateful Dead, only to return two years later with no recollection of what happened. Not even any explanation for the two knife wounds you had in your left butt cheek. You only kept mentioning that you "had to get back to the Phish".

Subsequently, a few years later, you again publicly threw verbal poo-poos at the whole town, sparing noone...you vowed to all those "el-sickos" that you would never return again...so help you Stack!!!

Little more than 14 months later you were back again...bewildered, amnesiatic, lost, and a little hungry. Your uvula was missing and you had a briefcase filled with $48,000 in Confederate money. The only thing you remembered was that your throat had been painted with LSD. Two coats, no primer.

You quietly went about your business in the town, opening a successful all-nite origami shop. You built yourself a cozy little two-story Zulu hut on the outskirts of town and rarely came out of doors. On occasion you'd be seen on the side of the road near Resurrection Cemetery in a glowing white dress. Witnesses started insisting they saw a strange man walking around your property and swore you were doing grocery shopping for two. The hut burned down after an origami dollhouse you were building, cable ready and with modern plumbing, caught fire. Investigators said it was arson. They also said it was murder because two burned bodies were found at the site. DNA tests confirmed neither one was you, yet you were nowhere to be found.

That was all four years ago.

You have just recently come back to town. You have absolutely no recall of the past 4 years, nor of any of the events before then.



Wait...is this a play or a really bad soap opera? I tend to think UM lends itself better to the bad daytime soap opera genre.

Haha Corky, hilarious! I always your sense of humor, very original and quirky!

I will play Liz Carmichael, wearing a padded girdle, wig, and high heels.

I will play Liz Carmichael, wearing a padded girdle, wig, and high heels.

If anyone asks what your ideal car is, explain to them that it's the car of the future and that if it weren't for all the trial proceedings, it would already be in production. Also, make a point to tell them than any American will be able to afford said car. :lol:

Another character should be the homeless, heedless, yet totally harmless town schizophrenic Sammy "Moons Over My Hammy" Wheeler.

Poor Sammy is convinced he is Michael Jordan and that he used to play for the Chicago Bulls.

Everyone in town knows him and avoids him as he wanders the streets in a dirty and hole-riddled jersey that has "JORDAN" scrawled in Magic Marker on the back and the number 23 taped over the original numbers. He is often found regailing every man, woman, child, baby, dog, cat, lamppost, mailbox, fire hydrant, and piece of roadkill he sees with his Hall of Fame exploits as the greatest basketball player to ever live.

Whether he's excitedly telling a bustling crowd of passersby about the time he led the Bulls to a championship with a resounding victory over the Los Angeles Lakers and their All-Star Center, Bob Bean; or whether he's clad only in his Hanes tightey whiteys, drinking Gatorade in the middle of 4-way intersection, reenacting his game winning 3-point buzzer beater he swears went in the hoop "juuust by co-wee-yun-suh-dee-yince"...everyone in Stackville has run in to Sammy "Mammy...Oh Mammy" Wheeler.

I nominate myself to play Liza Montgomery. I'll go around town buying expensive jewelry, furcoats and slot machines with my cashiers checks.